Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Quick someone go back to his truck and get the CT scan parts!

This actually made me sad. I laughed but it still was sad.

The Ministry of Silly Walks has a new member...

In the last few years, the P-man has had more difficulty walking over the salt patches the building spreads out to melt the ice. I've suggested that we purchase those booties for dogs but it never came to light until last night.

We bought two types: a fleece set and a set I can only explain as those soft gloves my brother used to wear when he was talking karate.

This morning I used the karate mittens aka Jean Claude Vans. Aside from my dog giving me some serious looks this morning these mittens make the P-man the talk of the town. Strangers and neighbors came up to me to say how stylish he looked. Heck, I think they were just watching he try to walk with those things on. If you've never seen a dog acclimate to these things, imagine a dog pulling his foot out to the side and then rotating it to the front. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is a real life incident that cartoonist imitate with that rotating walk.

Ok, I really tried to have empathy but every time his hind legs rotated I giggled. I tried muffling it.

A mitten walk adds an extra ten minutes to my morning routine which I learned the hard way. Here are some tips for new dog mitten users:

1. Strap those things on tight. You might think you are hurting them but trust me, they'll let you know if it's too tight. If you make them too loose, you'll be mitten hunting in the street.

2. Avoid the fleece unless you don't mind cleaning shmutz every walk.

3. Be prepared to be stopped by strangers on how cute your dog looks. Hence, don't walk your dogs without lipstick.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Vanity and Self Consciousness in the eyes

Someone recently told me that I am exposing too much of myself and may be
offending people with my honesty.  Well, I speak from the heart.  If 
there is anyone looking crazy in my rants and raves it's me, pantrygirl. 
Anyone who freely chooses to be my friend is a saint for dealing with my

If you know me and you are making assumptions from hearsay and have not read
any of my rants and raves, I ask you to read before making a judgment.

With that said, I must now continue my Holiday escapades.

Today's agenda includes:

Wrapping the final Christmas gifts

Making grocery list for Christmas dinner

Making holiday package for my Grandmom in Hong Kong

Prepare dough for cookie making marathon tomorrow


Thursday, December 16, 2004

Click and Ship is a Postal Carrier's Happy Holiday

Lrudlrick's presents have been wrapped. I feel bad though. See, every year, I take extra special care in wrapping presents. I wrap everyone's presents with a unique twist; well all except Lrudlrick's. First, I have to deal with hiding the darn things. Secondly, I have to wrap them before he gets home. Thirdly, most of the time his gifts require to rolls of wrapping paper.

So I usually wind up wrapping his gifts in brown paper. Yeah, yeah. I love brown paper and ribbon. It's all Little House but I'm talking about a wrap job that is far worse than any wrap job a medic in the line of fire can do.
To be honest, in one of his presents, I accidently poked a hole in the paper. So I taped it up and put a ribbon right on top of it. Then as I was moving it, I ran my fingernail through the other side. So I taped that up and it's now decided that the ripped part will lay flush to the tree skirt.

Hubby doesn't do too well with the wrapping either. He only wraps one gift, mine. No fail, every year, he waits until the night before and he asks for tape and wrapping paper. Every year I've but only scraps left. Every year, he uses the entire new roll of tape. [Hence, I buy the 99 cent tape and leave that one for him to use.]

The first year we were together, he bought an outrageous giant tigger bear for me. Of course, he had no clue how to wrap a giant orange tigger with springy tail. So he pretty much wrapped it like a meat log. The sounds of tape being ripped was deafening. When he finally came out to put the presents under the tree, he looked like Bill Murray's Hercules lifting a giant gift wrapped boulder.

Ever since, he thinks I'm some savant with gift wrapping. Hello, it's not like I aspire to be the gift wrapping guru.

It's typical of men though. You guys think that women naturally enjoy, wrapping gifts, going shopping, doing dishes and folding laundry. Here's a tip: we don't dream about ironing or folding or washing or wrapping. It needs to be done. Since the tolerance factor is much lower in a typical woman, we get stuck doing these chores.
Ladies, we aren't off the hook. My husband reminded me last night. Asking for help, however ridiculuous that sounds, is necessary with men. Men will sit on their butts playing Xbox while you vacuum around them, carry three loads of wash in front of them, go through extreme lengths to reach that container on the top shelf. They don't think this is rude because in all honesty, their line of sight is minimal. If it's not directly in their line of sight (boob level), then they don't see and what you don't see, you can't be blamed for.

Finally, men, here's one last tip: Women appreciate a kind gesture. Yes, we know you need to be told what to do but sometimes, do a quick scan of the room and see if there is anything you think would irk your wife/spouse/partner. Maybe it's that errant sock on the floor by your chair. Maybe it's that empty cup on the coffee table. However big or small, take care of it.
Trust me, your she will notice and be very thankful.

Cookie count: 30 dozen

Beers consummed: 12 or so (after 5 who counts?)

Burns: 1 (but it's a doozy)

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Your stepdad is in the hospital. Can you tape a movie for me?

As usual, my boss has revision 842 on a report she needs for a meeting tomorrow. I'm frantically working on the changes when my cell goes off. It's my MIL. I can't answer it and figure I'll call her later.

3 missed calls later and a vibrating phone that starts to pull heads into my office to assure I'm not pleasuring myself, I call Lrudlrick on my speakerphone. Of course, he's not answering. I get a hold of him on the cell and tell him to call his mom to see what the hullabaloo is.

Ten minutes later I get he following IM:

Lrudlrick: So he fell off a ladder trying to wipe off the sat dish. Went to the hospital. This was today, he is ok.

pantrygirl: OMG! Was your mom home?

Lrud: She was holding the ladder. Nasty bump on head.

pg: probably a concussion. no broken bones is good.

Lrud: She wanted to know if we can tape a show for him tonight.

pg: that's why they called? That warrants three frantic calls?

Lrud: You know how he is with movies and I guess the sat is not working right now. Here are the details.....

Ok, remember what I said about harriedness? This is the stuff I'm talking about. Here I am busting my way through a cookie load that would make Saint Nick happy and I'm supposed to remember to tape a movie for my step-dad.

Now I have nothing against my stepdad. I love the guy. I'd gladly tape it but as usual, during the holiday season and especially this year for some reason, I feel like I'm doing everything. Just once, I'd like to come home and find that I don't have to multi-task to get some quiet time for me.

Tonight's agenda includes:

Packaging and shipping gifts

Wrapping presents for office party tomorrow

Baking cookies

Making dinner

Taping a movie

Preparing dough for tomorrow's bake fest

Packaging cookies for hand delivery tomorrow

Did I mention my Larry, Curly and Moe died? I don't even have time to fish their guts out and buy replacements. :-(

Christmas just ain't Christmas without the burn marks and swollen livers

"So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it."
I don't have much time to share but boy howdy do I have a ton to tell.
I'll just drop you a list and if you want more details drop me a comment/email/im/etc.

In the mind of pantrygirl:

  • In-laws and parents.Why do they want you to have kids so much when they themselves have reverted to childlike tendencies?

  • Its frickin' freezing.Let the nipple chafing begin.

  • There is an unwritten law that uninvited guests visit when you are at the most harried.I'm not a pooper. I love guests. I get to feed them but why must everyone come-a-calling when three trays of cookies are baking, my dough is melting and my mashed hard candies are burning?

  • My damn tree is not drinking any of its fireproof elixir. This year in my paranoia, I decided to try the fireproof method for ensuring a safe Christmas. Lrudlrick picked up a short tree this year so I was able to hoist the damn thing myself into my gallon bucket to soak the darn thing.This tree drinks less water than when I use the regular concoction of water and more water. So now, I'm even more paranoid that I've killed the tree and I'm just making myself some nice pile of tinder in my foyer.

  • This Christmas is crazier than last. Lrudlrick thinks otherwise. I might remind him that I do a great deal of the holiday to dos. I remind myself at this point that Mothra has added to my list ten fold and that if Lrudlrick captained this crazy Christmas ship, we'd be 3 pecks short of a bushel.

  • Stupid pg fact #1:I can't decorate a tree without singing "Oh Christmas Tree" at least once. I'll sing it when I'm by myself. I'll sing it if someone is helping me or just sitting there oblivious to me decorating said tree.

    Stupid pg fact #1 part b: When Lrudlrick hears me sing "Oh Christmas Tree” he chimes "You are so soft and cuddly." This makes pg smile no matter what's going on.

  • I’m officially a Keebler elf. 24 dozen cookies down and gazillion more to go.

  • On a side note: If this turns out well, I may consider selling my cookies in the building next year. {Yes, I have issues.}

    Stupid pg fact #2: If you consume 5 bottles a beer while making said cookies, the tears don’t shed as much.Just kidding. Sorry if you get the salty cookie.

  • I seriously love Christmas.With all the craziness going on, most of which is self inflicted, I’m quite happy and am glad.

  • Now I have to get back to what I’m getting paid to do.
    Hears to picking up another six pack tonight!

    Thursday, December 09, 2004


    You will drive the car to the airport yourself.

    You will help me bake cookies.

    You will buy presents for your father and your aunt.

    You will do my laundry and the house laundry.

    Pantrygirl will not be caged!

    I don't ask much of my husband.

    An occasional hook in the closet and taking the recyclables and trash out

    I've never asked him to cook for me although I enjoy it.

    I don't even ask him to clean up his chocolate candy droppings or his empty
    Snapple bottles.

    Every month, I kindly remind him of the requests I've made.  Requests
    such as: vacuum ceiling fan, make your annual physical appointment and put up
    that hook in my closet.

    Last night, after 9 months, Lrudlrick put up the hook.  He awoke me from
    the couch and told me to go to bed.  When I walked past his cleaned out
    closet and my closet, he asked me if I wanted to see them.  Wearily and
    crankily I did.  He got upset and walked out to walk the dogs.

    How the hell am I supposed to be happy and excited at 1 in the morning and 9
    months after I requested it?  Understand how you get upset when the simple
    work requests go unfulfilled by the super?  Well, imagine that's what I go
    through with you but I don't get upset.  I just resign myself to sending
    you reminders.

    I don't go out and find the super, the managing agent and the board president
    and plan to show the errors in their performance.  You do.

    I don't tell my wife that the meeting is at 8 so either take your shower now
    or after they come and have them show up at 9am.  You do.

    I don't lock my wife in the bedroom with the key stuck on the outside of the
    door.  You do.

    I don't leave my wife and two full bladder dogs in the locked bedroom and
    leave the house.  You do.

    I don't leave my wife in a room where she's asked for a phone installed
    without a phone and without any means of communication to you at 9:15 in the
    morning.  You do.

    I don't leave my wife in a room without means of communication and without a
    single form of sustenance.  You do.

    Did I mention I had a full bladder?

    Your wife had to pull out her memories of Nancy Drew and MacGyver to get
    herself out of there. I thought about leaving myself in there to rot while you
    go to work and subsequently to a Christmas party; but the dogs would be the
    victim.  My only choices were get myself out or climb through the fire
    escape to our neighbor and call you ass to get home.

    I opted to use the last option as a last resort.  45 mins later. 
    Your wife has ruined two bobby pins, her manicure shears, her tweezers and one
    cuticle pusher.

    As of this moment, you suck.  You suck and owe me big Mister. 
    Remember, Christmas is around the corner and I've started deducting!

    You're plans for leaving me alone with your mom on Friday are shot.  You
    are coming home from work.  I'm not waiting for your butt to get home. 
    If you pull some stunt, I'm leaving them at the house alone.

    You owe me a tree that you promised we'd get last Sunday, last Monday and
    last night.

    You will help me decorate the tree.

    You will take my Saturday escort duties for your mother.

    You owe me big, Mister.

    And you begin to pay today!

    Wednesday, December 08, 2004


    Here is my tentative schedule with my MIL on Saturday:

    8:30 take train down to Soho

    9:45 at Hair Stylist (Walk around and buy Christmas gifts)

    1pm Lunch ???

    1:30 cab it to Midtown

    2pm at Facialist (Walk around and buy Christmas gifts)

    4pm Bus it home

    6pm Dinner

    7pm They drive to Long Island

    Can someone tell me how this happened? Can someone tell me how the heck I'm going to wake up early enough to train it at 8:30 in the morning? My luck it will rain and I'll be walking around a sopping me wet.

    Tuesday, December 07, 2004

    You want me to buy another present!

    I just got my invite to the company's Vice President's Holiday party.
    It states to bring a $25.00 grab bag gift.

    Honestly, what do I give as a grab bag gift to people who make six digit salaries?

    Just when I'm feeling good about my gift buying, I've got this. It can't be a goofy gift. Imagine me giving hair in a can to the VP. It can't be gender specific. It can't be holiday specific. Good grief.

    Ho Ho Ho

    Britian's Neo-Nazi party(BNP) hires DJ for annual Christmas party. "The DJ sounded white on the phone."

    High Maintenance costs do not equal better service

    This Christmas, the service crew in our building probably will think me a Grinch
    however, in my opinion, if you've done nothing but cause me and my husband to
    ake days off of work for no work or shotty workmanship, you don't deserve a huge Christmas tip.

    Every Christmas I start with a moderately high amount and count my way down.
    At the rate our super and handyman are going, they owe me money. Now, I'm not
    a hard ass. I'm far from a hard ass. In fact, I let my hubby be the bad guy
    and I'm the gal with the cold beverage to offer but as of late, I've been doing
    the work that the super and handyman should be doing.

    You put a ticket in and wait. And wait. And wait. Four weeks later, you give
    up and call to complain or get someone else to do it.

    I find it funny that the two service teams I deem should get more tip are the
    porters and security. As it stands, UPS man, Postman and the porters and
    security will be getting a happy present this year. Something as simple as
    holding the door for me or just plain saying, "Good morning" to me means more to
    me than answering my ticket requests in a timely manner.

    Funny thing is this is the nicest building we've lived in. In our last building, the maintenance fee was nearly twice as low as our current fees yet the super came the same day to inspect and assign work to his staff. Sure he was drunk most nights but you could guarantee from October through January, he was the nicest guy in town. He knew Christmas tips were up for grabs.

    In this building, it's two weeks before Christmas and still no effort to be available to the residents. I've never seen them in the office. I've never had them answer their phones (office and cells). In fact, if you walked into my building right now, I guarantee the only people you'll see are the porters, the security, the UPS guy, the mailman, the board president.

    What's even more funny is the duties for the day chalkboard. It is supposed to list the apts or areas in the building you will find the super and handyman throughout the day. It is 8 times out of 10 blank.

    UPDATE: Lrudlrick called the super to see if he fixed the mailbox and after the run around he said yes. Then he asked about the status of our intercom directory and mailbox nameplate. After some huffing and puffing and redirecting responsibility to the handyman, he hung up on my husband. Can't you picture Lrudlrick's face all red!

    Oh Christmas Tree. Oh Christmas Tree.

    Surprisingly, I'm rather calm for a the holiday season.
    Ok, my a pint of haagen daz and two beers a day are masking the anxiety.

    I have my ideas for presents for all but one remaining present.
    Now, I just need the money to buy them.
    MIL is more flitty than my anal retentive self can handle but I believe I've
    done all that I can do.
    Hair, Spa and Doctor (last minute add on) have been booked.

    Now, we need to either park our car in the airport for them to pick up or have
    them take a taxi.
    Personally, I leaning towards taxi. I'm just not seeing a rush the night before
    they come to drop a car off at JFK as going well.
    Honestly, if I didn't have a doctor appointment I cannot miss, I'd pick them up
    but it was the only time available and if I cancel, I need to wait until after Christmas.

    I've been anxiously and patiently waiting for the Christmas tree which my hubby
    promised we'd get on Sunday. Of course, Sunday passed and he said Monday.
    Well today is Tuesday and since he has class tonight, I'm going to go another night
    without setting the tree.

    I've decided that regardless, I am picking up a tree on Wednesday even if it
    means I hire a homeless guy to drag it home for me.
    Otherwise, I'm trimming the tree with my MIL in the house.
    Not to mention the fact that I'm going to have to trim the tree after I get my nails done.
    Time to whip out those heavy duty blue gloves!
    Any woman will tell you that you never trim the tree after you do your nails.
    You trim the tree prior to.
    Doing your nails and then trimming the tree is just wasting good money.
    Why can't Lrudlrick understand this? :-P

    Wednesday will be crazy. Tree and laundry are on the agenda.
    (Laundry is the next thing I really don't want to do with my MIL.
    No need for her to see my skivvies.)

    I just realized something.
    What the hell am I going to do at the salon and spa while she's getting her hair and face done? I'd spa too but I'm not in the mood. It's not like I have the car. I guess I'll bring a book and window shop. Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and find the elusive last present we need!

    Thursday, December 02, 2004

    If you get the bloody or burnt Christmas card, sorry.

    I finished all my cards. Well, I have two left to make.
    Two paper cuts, two burns to my index finger and knuckle and three diet cokes later (drank the last beers during the initial template structure), I completed this year's cards.

    Now all I need are the stamps, some burn ointment and a couple of bandaids.

    BTW, my original design name was Blood, Sweat and Tears Designs but was later scraped when I realized the initials (BST Designs) looked like Bullshit Designs.

    I'm going to relax tonight. Partly because I'm exhausted from handmaking 50 cards and my next big agenda is cookie making. Partly because the rest of my Christmas chaos will need to wait until I get a strong hold on what my plans are for my MIL's visit.

    I plan to pick up the fish on Thursday. I was going to serve it with Rice and Beans but my husband made a face. Step-FIL likes RnB. I see nothing wrong with that combo. In fact, rice and fish are always delish to me. I told him, I'd make mashed potatoes on the side for him. Should I make string beans? Eh.

    Last night I made meatballs again. I have this thing about meatballs. I guess because it's easy to make and it's pretty much mindless drone work. I can sit there rolling out balls while I make a list in my head. Unfortunately, I droned out to much and added too much meal and I made leadballs. I even had a hard time choking them things down. I felt like the ball was soaking the little moisture I had in my mouth. Lrudlrick was kind and didn't say a thing. At least the pasta and sauce was good.

    In a feat which could only be one of the best gifts he could give me, hubby did the laundry last night. All of it. Every comforter, sheet, towel, my laundry, his laundry. Of course, nearly 4 hours later, he looked completely wiped out. He even folded! I guess after 8 years, he realizes when mid-November rolls around, I'm in super OCD/AR Holiday mode. Compound my masochist tendencies during the holiday season with my MIL visiting and you've got Neurotic Pantrygirl. Sure, I'm OCD with AR tendencies but it becomes quite selective in December. Hence the house and and housework is serious lacking due to the fact that I must spend 4 hours over a griddle making Christmas cards. God I need a man with a good couch and extensive knowledge of Jung ("there'll be no blaming Mother today!").

    Christmas presents to go:


    Christmas Dinner Menu (tentative)

    Standing Rib Roast

    Yorkshire Pudding

    Garlicky Mashed Potatoes

    ???Greens??? (Hubby's choice is Creamed corn)

    Warm Sinfully Chocolate Pudding with berry goodness

    My Favorite Nigerian Scam Email. (Check out how they spell partnership)

    -----ORIGINAL MESSAGE-----


    SENT: WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 2004 1:29 PM







    Freakin' Sweet

    Haha, you said North Pole... What better way to celebrate the holidays than with a double-dose of animated cheer? FOX will be airing back-to-back episodes of Family Guy on Friday, Dec. 10th starting at 9/8c. The holiday block will kick off with “A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas” and will be followed by “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein”, airing for the first time on broadcast television. Does that count as a new episode? I’m gonna say yes. And you thought you could have the holidays without Gene Simmons and a Las Vegas bar mitzvah… -- Fox

    Ongoing list of Pet Peeves

    Unshaved legs in sheer stockings

    Unshaved legs in sheer colored stockings

    Public transportation travellers who don't give their seat to the elderly, pregnant or person with small child.

    People who can't tell me in my face they don't like me. Stop going behind my back. Remember, I used to work in systems. I know how to trail back to the person who's trying to sabotage me. Idjit.

    Wednesday, December 01, 2004

    The man with a never-ending bad day is back, 01.09.2005

    Everyone is gone but potato face?

    Plus, is it just me or am I correct to assume that '24' is not going to be winning 'the most ethnically diverse cast in a television series' award this year?

    You heard it hear...

    "I don't eat it so I can buy it..... I also have furs." -- Step-MIL on being a Vegetarian and buying a leather couch and loveseat.

    Who buys Dunkin Donuts gift certificates anyway?

    Every year, the hardest presents to get are always the last on the list.
    Of course this does nothing but cause me more agita. I've tried everything to
    soothe my anxiety. Twice I've passed these hard presents to my husband. Twice
    we found ourselves (and yes, we) frantically searching for these presents.

    This year, I've thrown it back to me but at this rate, I'm still going to be
    frantically searching Dec 23rd for these bloody presents. I did get my MILs present
    yesterday. I'm actually quite proud of myself. {pat pat} In my crazy searches
    to find the perfect present for them, I happened to find out that an oldies concert
    is scheduled for next weekend. It's a bit over budget but I figured I can't find
    a more perfect present for them. So when they arrive, we're going to give them
    there presents early.

    So far I'm not hitting my $200 savings mark like I did last year. I was so proud
    I was $200 under budget last year, I was giddy for weeks. I'm trying to make it
    within budget this year, but it gets more and more difficult as the days countdown.
    Last year with our impending move, I was very strict with myself. Unfortunately,
    convenience is winning me over this year. In all fairness, I also have a new set of
    building/services and work staff gratuities to allot for. We will soon see how I
    fair this year.

    Presents left countdown:


    Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah!

    School pageants must be fun.

    Words to Live By

    Almost everyone feels the same way at times.

    Related tags:

    So not fair

    Ok, The Heat Miser and Snow Miser ornaments are up to $103.00!

    Seriously, on your holiday shopping excursions, if you see them cheap, call me!

    Monday, November 29, 2004

    Christmas Gifts for the impatient and the short attention spanned

    Every year Lrudlrick makes it that much more difficult to get him a Christmas present. This year, my original idea was sort of blown up (I'm not revealing it in the hopes I may turn this around). I briefly alluded to the item and he said, "Eh. I done with it."

    Then he threw out his sneaks because of some strange substance he stepped in. So I thought getting him those custom Nikes would be the perfect gift. His impatience has thrown that out the door. He just called me at Sport Authority.


    Love. Acceptance. Mom. Biology

    I sometimes feel like I'm the older sister to my mother. I won't go into the sordid history but she does things that are so impulsive and without consideration to the fact that she's a grown woman with responsibilities.

    Now, I'm not saying that I'm in any shape or form, sisterly to her. We're not
    running out to the Macy's Wednesday sales or getting facials together. Heck, my
    brother probably does that more with my mom than I. There are times where I
    feel that because she married so young and lived a rather sheltered and pampered
    life, she still needs to be sheltered and pampered. Not that it's healthier for
    her to be this way; it's just that reality would probably hurt her. Therefore
    you see many people who love her sheltering her. [Ok, to those who say I was
    pampered to. I'm not disagreeing but that's for another day's rant.]

    Now my mom's a tough cookie but she's like an M&M. She's got a hard shell but a
    soft center. She gets hurt easily and takes things way too personal.

    Her latest lunacy is going to China or Hong Kong. I don't know which one. Her
    In-laws, whom she just finished visiting, are planning a trip to the Far East.
    She wants to go. Forget that she's not retired like they are. Forget that
    she's still recuperating. Forget that she's on a fixed budget.
    Forget that her husband probably cannot go since he's still awaiting his
    immigration status.

    It kind of reminds me of when she used to fly away. She frequently left NYC
    towards the last years of my dad's life. It was as if she couldn't deal with
    what was going on and just wanted to escape. I once asked
    my dad why if it hurt him so much for her to runaway he allowed her to
    go off. He said that it was the only way he knew how to make her happy.
    Listening to one to many U2 records, he allowed her to leave in the hopes she'd
    find her way home to him.

    Mom's now frantically calling me for passport forms. I'm not storybook with my
    mom but when she needs me I'm there. I try my best to appease her crazy Lucy
    schemes even if I feel they are hair-brained. Yes, I do love her but I cannot
    shelter. Even if I question her, she'll give me some explanation she has put thought
    into to make it seem logical. (ie. Grandpa's real estate property)

    What's scary is that I see parts of grandma in my mom which only leads me to believe
    that the lunacy maybe partly hereditary. My only hope now is that it degenerates as
    it hits the younger generations.

    PNC's Christmas Price Index

    Hubby, you can skip
    the Ladies dancing but I must have my Lords a-leaping.

    For the love of God, why?

    Anyone else believe these are mufugly?

    Santa, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy walk into a bar...

    Ok. Where do I begin? It's been a while and my head is floating with
    thoughts, rants and raves. In honor of TV Guide and their 'Cheers and Jeers'
    section, I give you:

    Pantrygirl's Cheers and Jeers for Thanksgiving 2004



                Good with Turkey and well, just about anything.p>

    The main liquid beverage of choice this holiday.

    Made the fish and chips tastier made my meatball sub with onions and garlic that much more delicious

    It also eased my mind from the looming Christmas panic

    Photo Frames

                I completed three big
    frames. I also thought that a pretty picture frame with old photos of my hubby
    would be a good present for my MIL.

                Oh, and in a
    freaky-earth-stopped-rotating-for-a-brief-moment, my FIL gave me a photo of his
    parents to add to my grandparent frame.

    Toys R Us

    our Christmas shopping excursion which turned into a Frosted Mini class=SpellE>Wheats moment for Lrudlrick? Well the toy car he bought for
    himself was less entertaining than originally thought. Isn’t that always the
    case? So we had to return it. Luckily the line was short. But while we were
    there I noticed that they had all the Santa Clause is Coming
    to Town ornaments excluding the Heat and Snow Miser. I checked it out on EBay.
    So far it’s going for $80.00! Damn you people! If anyone sees the Heat and Snow
    Miser for a reasonable price, email me.

    Thanksgiving with Family

    is my favorite family holiday because it’s about food and family and that’s it.
    No searching for the one gift that he/she would love. No expectations, except
    for turkey, corn and ribs. In a photo that I regret I didn’t take, Baby Matt
    chose Heineken over Similac. Sometimes I wish I had a
    camera implanted in my head.

    Christmas presents

    got the kids presents down and I’m relieved. Now I just need to wrap them. I
    even bought the batteries. (Damn you battery people/toy people! 3 class=SpellE>AAs when you know perfectly well that they only come in
    packs of four!)

    Couch bonding

                In another cosmos-changing
    event, my Step-MIL bonded with us. We got Lrudlrick’s dad to finally loosen his
    wallet and buy a new couch and loveseat. His couch was older than me and when
    you sat down, you had to hold yourself up with your forearms to avoid neck and
    back injury. So we headed to Macy’s and got a new leather couch set. During
    this time, Step-MIL not only let me hang out with her daughter by myself, she
    also left the room for extended periods of time!

    Baby sis had a ball. We had her on top of the oriental rugs and she jumped
    into Lrudlrick’s arms. We got her on the recliner and played spaceship. Who
    knows when this moment will come again but I’m glad that we went. To the hopes
    that this is a beginning to further developments in the baby sis front…



    Wool Sweaters

                Ok. It’s bad enough that my
    mother’s handmade sweater she knitted for her was tossed aside because she
    feels wool is bad for her daughter but when your daughter playfully plays with
    my scarf, she’s scolded for allowing it near her face! Good grief woman, you
    cannot protect your child from every dust mite in the world!

    Children should be seen and not

                And if your child wants to
    giggle loudly when we tickle her, she should. We’re in a
    frickin’ car.
    It’s not like we’re in the Smithsonian. (Besides, I’m sure
    the Smithsonian, wouldn’t mind a laughing child versus a crying one.) Put on
    your Christina Aguilera tape and let us in the back have our class=SpellE>gigglefest.

    Christmas presents

    after 8 years, I’m tired of hearing you say that you want your daughter to bond
    with the family. Prove it. Every year, we plead with them to come to the family
    Christmas Eve party. Every year, we get one excuse after another. For two
    straight years, I swear they planned their France
    trip around the event just to avoid it. This year’s excuse is, I’m cheap and
    don’t want to buy presents for everyone. 1. You showing up would be present
    enough. B. You showing up would be present enough. Have we not gone through
    this with your son’s birthday? Lrudlrick even offered to drive to their house,
    pick up baby sis and go as the threesome. FIL turns all Woody Allen and can’t
    make a coherent sentence.

    Christmas presents part II

                Now, I’ve got the hard
    presents left. Actually, they aren’t really hard it’s just that they are couples
    and it’s difficult to get a present for a couple that both parties would like.
    My most difficult are always the parents. See, I know what my mom would like
    but my stepdad, not so much. In October, we decided
    on hockey tickets but well, they heard me speak and decided to strike. Then
    there is my MIL who would love anything that says ‘Holistic’ or ‘Natural’ on
    it. My Step-FIL would love a gift certificate to an old record shop but I’m not
    sure which ones are good. Must do some research. My FIL would be happy with a class=SpellE>neverending supply of coffee and pastries from the local
    bakery but I have no clue what to give my Step-MIL.
    Maybe I should get her a decorating magazine subscription but then again, she’d
    probably say that the designs aren’t her style. Maybe I should just buy her

    Santa, The
    Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy

    excuse that finally fumbles out is that he’s afraid the cousins would tell her
    that Santa did not exist. Dude, the girl doesn’t even like stuffed animals
    because they don’t look real. There is no way this girl truly believes in
    Santa. Besides, it’s not like they are all going to run around and say there is
    no Santa.

    Purses and lip gloss

    sis declined berry lip gloss! I have never met a 9 year old girl who didn’t
    want to play dress up once and a while. This explains why my bracelets, purses
    and other fashion trinkets have never been worn or found anywhere in the house.
    I swear my first word was gloss!

    Cordless Phones

                My mother, in a past life,
    has done something that now causes every single cordless phone that reaches her
    hands to die and painful death. This year alone, she has gone through four
    phones. She got so desperate she has had a phone that plays Christmas tunes
    when it rings. My brother called me last night to tell me mom killed her latest
    phone. Seriously, I do not know what she does to them. At first I thought she
    just kept draining the battery but it’s been nearly ten years now and it can’t
    always be the same thing. So now my brother wants to buy her a new phone for Christmas.
    Maybe she’d do better with a corded phone. We can always buy her a six foot

    I started working on my Christmas cards. I’m such an ass to take this
    on. It’s going ok but I’m realizing that buying a pre-printed card is so much
    more appealing now than ever before.

    MIL has called with a definite. She’s coming next week. Of course if it
    snows, she may change her mind again. I’m going to go ahead as if she’s coming.
    Which means my list of to dos has doubled. She wants a facial so I need to call
    the spa. She wants a haircut so I have to find the number again. Finally, she’s
    coming so I need to make my beer bread, stock up on whole wheat bread and buy
    some fish because she’s not going to be eating steak like Lrudlrick and I do. I
    swear we eat so much red meat; I’m going to have to be careful if I ever find
    myself in a cattle ranch. They’ll start a stampede just to trample me.

    Tuesday, November 23, 2004

    Mightiest monster in all creation! Ravishing a universe for love!

    As of late, I've been very lethargic.

    Partly because I'm getting over some physical issues.

    Partly because my new job is frenetic.

    Partly because it's the holiday season and I'm frickin' nuts.

    I've taken on an ambitious task this holiday season. As if last year's Turkey day hasn't shown me what ambition will get you, I've taken on cookie and card making this year.

    Since we decided that Thanksgiving will be an every other year event for me, you would think I'd take this time for respite. Of course OCPD-pantrygirl is not having it.

    In addition to my usual ribs for potluck Thanksgiving, this year, I've placed it upon myself to try to make an appetizer for this shindig. Of course it can't just be pigs in a blanket. (What the hell is wrong with me?) At first I thought I'd try my hand at chinese baked pork buns but then realized I'm already bringing pork ribs so that would just be too porky. (Last time I made pork, ham and pancetta within a week of each other, my apartment smelt like a rendering farm.)

    Then in a moment of pure insanity/clarity I thought a vegetable appetizer would balance out the whole rib thing. (Why does my brain torture me?) So tonight, I guess I'll flip through some recipe books and see what I can come up with. I may just make mini veggie turnovers. I've done that before. It's not like I have to try to make something new from my repertoire. (OCPD-pantrygirl will think otherwise.)

    I swear OCPD-pg has some kind of 'Free Martha' thing going on in her mind. Cause aside from the appetizers she came up with handmade cards for Christmas. (Again, what the hell is wrong with me?)

    So my card materials came in yesterday. See, I make cards. I'm nutty like that. But why does OCPD-pg (who shall now be known as Mothra) think that making cards during the holiday season would be a good idea? Don't I have enough rope to hang myself with already?

    Anywho, so my projects list keeps mounting.

    And to top this off, I've decided that I'll make my Christmas cookies like last year but expand the recipient's list. To make my life easier, sugar cookies are out this year but my famous chocolate chips are in. That way, I don't have to worry about rolling and cutting shapes out and decorating. This year's new cookie will be a decorative pane glass cookie. I have yet to decide if it will be a star, circle or gingerbread. I figure I can make one of these cookies and place it on the top of the box so people can use it to hang on their tree (or eat it).

    Oh, and of course, I have to make a diabetic cookie for our diabetic/atkins buddies. I'm leaning towards a dipped cookie.

    Then Mothra decides that since we have a few more Jewish friends/family added to our list this year, not to mention the fact that our building is primarily Jewish families, it would be nice to learn how to make rugelach. (I won't even ask the question.) Sure, many of the devout will not eat them from a gentile house but hey, my boss will.

    Finally, cookies, cards and appetizers isn't enough, I'm determined to finish the family wall before my MIL shows up. Now, you have to understand that for me, picking pictures and arranging them in a frame takes more than 45 mins per frame. And essentially, I can only get past two frames per day. And I've got at least 6 frames left to do. Not to mention that I have to still scan the ancient photos to avoid destroying them.

    I swear, Mothra needs to chill.

    Do not make me Pong your ass

    The first rule of MahJong Fight Club is - you do not talk about MahJong Fight Club.

    The second rule of MahJong Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about MahJong Fight Club even in Cantonese.

    Third rule of MahJong Fight Club, someone yells "Ho Yeah!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.

    Fourth rule, only four guys to a fight. No partnering.

    Fifth rule, one fight at a time, fellas.

    Sixth rule, no "bai sea", no "sea fut loong".

    Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to.

    And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at MahJong Fight Club, you have to fight. Cheat cards are to your right, Gwai lo.

    Monday, November 22, 2004

    It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

    So I started holiday shopping for the kids yesterday.

    AAA had some sort of special event where they closed Toys R Us to members only
    so you can shop without the crazy crowds.

    We walk in and not ten minutes into the whole maddening event, a kid runs
    towards me with a bloody tissue over his nose. He weaves to the right. I weave
    to the right. He weaves to the left. I weave to the left. Ten seconds later I
    hear a woman go, "Again! What's up with the bloody noses?"

    This year we have 3 girls and 2 boys to buy toys for. All others get moola.
    It makes life that much easier for me. (Especially since, I'm torturing myself
    with my ambitious cookie feats. I'll tell you later.)

    L:"Well, lead the way, woman."

    pg: "What do you mean me? I don't have kids. How the hell am I supposed to know
    what they want. Besides, these are your cousins. My cousins in their right
    mind live in other states."

    L:"This is supposed to be fun. Don't start."

    pg:"I'm not."

    L:"This is starting."

    pg:"No I'm not. In fact, you started."


    pg:"See what? Don't put you hand up at me. Can I talk? Can I talk? Ok.
    I didn't start this."

    L:"All I'm saying is that you have the list. So I'm going to follow you."

    pg:"What? Whatever. Just remember, 7,8,9,11. Ok?"

    L:"Where to?"

    pg:"Ooh! Incredibles!"

    [BTW, all arguments b/w Lrudlrick and myself consist of:

    • The talk to the hand

    • Can I talk?

    • I've let you talk. Can I talk?

    • Don't start.

    • I'm not. You started.]

    Twenty minutes ater, I've lost Lrudlrick.

    We sort of have 1 gift (a backup gift) out of 5 and I've lost my husband
    in the toy store.

    Figuring he'll find his way to the electronics, I stand by the electronics
    section flipping through the catalog for inspiration.

    That's when I felt old. Seriously old. I had no clue what kid would like what.
    I also felt a tinge of sexism. I found it easier to pick ideas for the boy kids
    easier than the girl kids. If we decide to have kids and they are girls, I'm
    in serious trouble.

    Sure enough Lrudlrick makes his way to the electronic section with his arms loaded.
    I'm excited until I realize that he's got all boy toys and essentially they are
    for himself.

    He shows me a crazy loopy race track thingy with crashing cars that spin out
    of control. He suggests this for the 8 year old with a natural caffeine supply.
    "That looks really noisy and potentially super hyperactive."

    We double back to the track toys and find a cool pack and go glow in the dark
    race track that doesn't look like it would be too loud or too hyperactive.
    Then I tell Hubby we seriously need to focus on the girls.

    "The boys just are easier."

    Tell me about it. Then the thoughts of inadequacy as a parent crawl in again.

    "Ok, before we go to pink and lacy land, let's get you the spy toy you wanted."

    We head to the spy gear place and pick up those listening device thingies. Ok,
    you know how Monica and Rachel had ugly naked guy across the way from their window?
    Well, we have topless fat man by us. I give him credit though. Like clockwork,
    every Tuesday and Thursday evenings he's peddling his heart out on the stationary
    bike while I sit on my ass eating Chinese while watching 24 or Law and Order.
    Anyway, hubby thinks that he can use the listening device to hear topless fat man.
    Why? I have no idea.

    We head to the girl section and aside from Lrudlrick glazing over and my culture
    shock, we looked like we fit right in. So much so that a saleslady who looked 16
    came over and asked if I needed help. Yes, for god's sake. Help me!

    She tells me anything with Bratz on them are a big hit. Of course, she doesn't
    tell you that Bratz is 6 aisles of big headed dolls with matching accessories.
    Then she mentions electronic laptops are big now. "Barbie has three new ones out.
    I think they are about $25.00 each."

    Peeking both my husband and my interest we shuttle our butts to electronics.
    I'm guess by this 16 year old's math skills, her school is in need of business
    mathematics classes (yes, my school had such a class). $25.00 looks like $36.00
    on the butt ugly orange sticker.

    "We've got to hurry up. It's 8pm!"

    Thanks Mr. Been-Gone-for-20-minutes-and-all-I-got-is-a-remote-control-car-and-

    Determined to leave with the 5 gifts I planned to purchase, I run quickly to my
    safe place, the crafts aisles. I pick up make your own makeup kits and a knitting
    machine for the girls. Nothing says, keep the kids entertained after Christmas
    dinner more than make your own whatchamacallit.

    Two kids down. I send my husband to the electronics software section to pick up
    something for his brainiac sister and I run to baby land to pick up something for
    a 6 month old. (If he glazed over in girl land, I could only imagine what he'd
    do in babyland.)

    I run to the electronics section and he seems lost, for the first time.

    "I don't know what to get her."

    I find a "My First Digital Camera" and we book to the nearest short line.

    So I'm standing on line and I rummage through the circular to find the $10.00
    gift card coupon. I start to run for the door to grab a new circular when I
    turn around and Lrudlrick has run off leaving the cart unattended on line as if
    it would naturally move forward and start unloading itself.

    Good grief. He's run off to check out more toys.

    Seriously, I need to buy one of the those velcro harnesses that kids wear these days
    to keep tabs of him.

    Oh, and he doesn't understand why the bill came up to $200 when my Christmas list budget only totals $120 for the kid toys. Hmmmmmm.....

    On a side note, why is it that every frickin' toy has to have either 1 battery or
    3 batteries? It's never 2 or 4. It's like frickin' hot dogs and buns.

    Friday, November 19, 2004

    Happy Happy Happy. Everybody Happy.

    Signs your building is nuts:

    1. Committees up the wazoo

        Samples include: 

    • Individual Washing Machine Committee

    • Laundry Room Committee

    • Gym Committee

    • Newsletter Committee

    • Itty Bitty Ninny Committee

    2.  Safety Meetings with Local Law Enforcement turns into gripe of

    • why are kids playing ball in the park at night

    • why are kids skateboarding and bicycling around the park entrance

    • why are boys hanging out in front of the girls high school after school

    3.  Requests for work must come in triplicate form*

        I just received a memo that quadruplet forms are the new

    4.  Socials and yes, the building has several socials must be
    non-denominational events

        Hence the December get together cannot be called Kwanzaa,
    Christmas, Hanukkah or any other affiliated event.

        Forget about the star cookies I hoped to bake.

    Wednesday, November 17, 2004

    The New Ending...

    "All across the country, people are experiencing the fallout of one of the
    toughest losses of their lives. Like one giant communal hangover, our hearts and
    minds are filled with regret, despair and dismay...We poured ourselves into the
    fight, yet only to suffer a devastating defeat. - Ian Inaba

    'the fight continues and
    we will be heard.'

    Tuesday, November 16, 2004

    Pantrygirl says

    It's a good day when your tightest pants fit loosely around your hips.

    Monday, November 15, 2004

    MA.ALD: Masters in Architectural Lavatory Design

    I find that the more time that passes b/w hair washing, the better my hair looks.

    I know that sounds disgusting.

    I guess when, it's too clean, it just doesn't do what it's supposed to do.

    But I digress. My real topic for my rant today is bathrooms, public bathrooms to
    be exact.

    Now, I know a thing or two about bathrooms. If you've seen the number of bathrooms
    I've seen in Chinatown, you will know what I'm talking about.

    I've been in stalls where my short legs are hanging out of the door in order for
    me to squat.

    I've been in stalls where my 34 inch hips push out on either sides ala '3PO! 3PO!'.

    If you are a stall outside of Chinatown, you should not have a poorly planned layout.

    Take bathroom stall number 1 in Pizzeria Uno's on Central Avenue.

    A bathroom in a modern day chain restaurant should not require acrobatics on the
    part of the visitor.

    Imagine having to use the bathroom (picture, the pee pee dance).

    Running into the stall.

    Being grateful that their is room for you to pull your pants down.

    As you do the hover (yes, ladies hover) you look to your right for the toilet paper.

    No toilet paper.

    You look to your left.

    No toilet paper.

    You look in the front.

    No toilet paper.

    You look behind you.

    The toilet paper holder has been installed behind the toilet to the far left hand

    As you continue to hover, you desperately attempt to reach the roll that seems to
    be 3 inches away from your reach.

    Now I have long arms for a petite person. Heck, sometimes when I'm hunched over,
    I look like a skinny version of the gorilla in that Bugs Bunny cartoon where the
    drunk stork loses the baby gorilla and tries to pass of Bugs as the baby of primates.

    So at this point, I'm trying to stay fairly over the loo as I'm desperately
    reaching for the toilet paper roll. I finally grab a hold of the end (thanks to
    the extra millimeters Janets suggested I keep on my nails).

    Of course, it doesn't end there.

    For some god forsaken reason they've installed those el cheapo toilet paper rolls.

    You know the ones.

    The ones that rip every two squares.

    Like two squares wipes anything that needs wiping.

    So I'm vainly trying to gather enough squares to properly clean myself off.

    I'm so frustrated by the whole event, when completed, I flush the toilet and
    leave the stall without zipping up.

    In walks two teenage girls mortified that I'm walking out with my zipper open and
    a red face of frustration.

    Someone needs to have a lavatory design degree. Fix our loos!

    Friday, November 12, 2004

    Home, Work and Self: The Balancing Act

    It's been awhile I know.

    This week has been another hectic one. This time, I've been busy
    on all ends, work, home and self.

    Funny how all this news on Arafat has come and go. An editorial
    in the Post or was it the News said it best.

    He's a terrorist. There is no need to fill our airwaves with his
    death and illness. One notification shall suffice.

    MIL said she's coming in December now. If you all know by now,
    she's been saying she'll be coming down since June.

    She's serious now. She's given me a date. She didn't mention
    whether her husband was coming so I assume she's coming solo and
    I took days off already to take her around town for visits and
    errands.Lrudlrick think otherwise but has decided to take days off too.

    At the same time, we submitted our names to a home security show
    for the Discovery channel and they seem interested. Lrudlrick is
    coordinating it. Supposedly, they break in to our apartment steal
    our stuff then make some security adjustments and try breaking in
    again. So pretty much, we have to allow ourselves to be violated.

    Baby cousin's getting baptized this weekend, mom is in San Fran
    visiting her in-laws and brother is dating a princess.

    On the home front, I finally cleaned the house. God what I would do for
    a maid to come once a week. But usually it's not that bad. It
    only got to the point of disorganization after I did battle with
    a cold that zapped my OCD into submission. At one point I had
    clothing on the dining room table (I abhor clothing, clean or
    dirty, being in a place it shouldn't be. This all comes from
    watching my mom leave clothes all over the living room, porch and
    spare bedroom.).

    Then while I was still ill and hopped up on Nyquil (Blue pills rock!)
    I woke up from what I thought was Chinese water torture.
    I ran out of bed and into the bathroom where I saw a waterfall stream
    down from the ceiling.

    We had notified the super four weeks ago that we didn't want to wait
    until the ceiling caved in. He yes-ed us to death and now at 6:30
    in the morning I'm racing to get a bucket and towels to dry off
    the floor. Lrudlrick was livid and called the super's cell. I
    called in and waiting at home for the super. We even got the keys
    from our neighbors so they could go upstairs to investigate.

    Finally at 1pm the super shows up and after several phone calls
    and my Lrudlrick running home, we had the managing agent, board
    president and super scrambling to ensure us that it would get
    fixed tomorrow am.

    "Is it an emergency?"

    "I don't know what you call an emergency, but water shooting out of my
    ceiling into a bucket isn't what I consider quality of living." - Lrudlrick.

    So now, I have to take another day off so they can scrape and
    re-paint our bathroom ceiling. I bet I'll have to mix the paint.
    We mix our wall color paint with standard white to avoid that
    stark "OH MY GOD, IT'S THE CEILING" look.

    So essentially, because of my illness, the household chores of the week were
    pushed back.

    Hence, laundry wasn't picked up until yesterday.

    Dry cleaning hasn't been picked up all week.

    Groceries have not been ordered.

    Dog Food is non existent.

    Presents for baptism and baby shower (for a co-worker) not bought.

    Christmas cards not designed. (Yes, anal retentive self has decided that

    I'll make my cards this year. I'm such an ass.)

    Not to mention, family wall hasn't even begun to take shape since last week.

    Bro is lending me his scanner so I don't ruin the older pics.

    And now that mom's visiting in-laws, I need to haul my ass to her house to
    pick up the scanner and some capes she knitted for a friend. Oh, yes,
    she's gone loco knitting scarves and capes. So I figure, why not
    sell them for her. Which reminds me, I need to call Bro to make
    sure he's home before he leaves for the camping trip so I can
    pick them and his scanner up.

    On the self front, I've been busy reading and doing some introspection.
    It's hard to do when Lrudlrick is around. I try not to be so self absorbed
    around him.

    On the work front, I've realized that my projects are never
    ending projects. This realization, of course, came after a very
    hectic and frustrating day at work. I kept feeling like I
    couldn't accomplish anything. With that feeling plus the need to
    take days off of work, I felt I was being pushed at home and I
    was really pissed about that.

    I know it's minor compared to the push I'll eventually feel when we have kids
    but I hated that fact that I had to decide and the decision had to be home.
    This made me angrier. I was choosing work over home and that's just wrong.
    I know my job isn't a high profile, "OH MY GOD, SHE'S THE ONLY
    ONE WITH THE DEACTIVATION CODES!" kind of job. But I pride myself
    in my work and the ability to do my job above and beyond. Which
    lead me to ask, "Why?" Sure I can say monetary but to be
    truthfully, they'd pay me just the same even if I did half the
    work I do and at half the effort. So is it my home life? No. I
    love my home life and Lord knows I've got plenty at home that I
    need to do so it's not like I'd be sitting on my ass. I honestly
    don't know right now why I was so upset that I had to choose home
    over work. Maybe it was that I had no choice in the matter. I'll
    figure it out eventually.

    Monday, November 08, 2004


    I'm ill and this is not helping me get better:

    Turkey & Gravy Jones Soda

    "The first sips bring a mix of sweet caramel and savory lard — and it's
    downhill from there."

    Friday, November 05, 2004

    God I love those little Green and Orange pills. Nyquil rocks.

    Today I'm a grumpus.

    I can't help it. Ok I can but choose not to. I'm sicker today and I really think it's because I inversed the old "Starve a cold, Feed a fever." old wives tale.

    The last two days, although I was sick, I ate very little and felt great.
    Now, after eating like a pig, all I want to do is crawl into my bed and sleep.

    I guess it's back to liquids.

    I can't concentrate and to make it worse, my new office is in chaos due to a move. They are pulling all the equipment out of the equipment room and moving in a finance guy. So now I've got a coat rack and a printer outside of my office. The noise is annoying and I just want to close my office door but I'm trying not to be rude.

    Since the equipment hasn't be networked, I'm in limbo as far as printing out a colored copy of a report I need for my 2pm meeting. I'm not playing Pixelus until lunch and then plan to pass out at some point before my 2pm meeting. I seriously need more meds but am too lazy and too cold to walk to the drugstore. Funny isn't it. I work in a Medical School and I can't get meds.

    Not even wearing my new pumps has made me feel better. Ok, maybe a little.


    Now everyone is talking about Rob Cordry's remarks on how NY'ers must be too close to the terrorism and homosexuals to make an informed decision. The red states need to wrangle us back in to realize the situation of the state of the union.
    God, that was hysterical. All in all, most Ny'ers are past the shock and I'm sure acceptance will hit soon. Me, disbelief is still there but resignation has surfaced. Maybe that's why I feel so ill.


    I'm looking forward to some entertainment and if I have to down a bottle of Dayquil to see The Incredibles tonight, by golly, I'm doing it. I know I'm a kid at heart. I've been looking forward to this for a while. I don't care if it sucks, which I hope it doesn't.


    Arafat. I said it first. Arafat is being kept alive to allow the shift of power to be arranged and to arrange his burial. Anyone see Dave?


    Unbelievably, the holiday season is around the corner. I started pulling out my Christmas list. I am so not ready for the Holidays. I know it's early but usually my OCD has me revving to go. Could it be my OCD is waning? Or will I get hit with a one two? Since I did Thanksgiving last year, I'm doing Christmas dinner this year. I'm thinking of a roast. My mother, who somehow came across two turkeys, is thinking turkey. I may go nuts and do both. Heck, my gas is back on.
    Speaking of which, Lrudlrick made an awesome filet mignon last night. Very tasty.
    But alas, as I said before, with this cold, I'm going to have to stick to clear liquids even if it kills me. :-(

    Thursday, November 04, 2004

    The Lesson Learned

    "The Bush camp has been rewarded for its tactics of distortion and derision. Bush and Dick Cheney appealed to people's fears. And the lesson for them and the Republicans is clear:
    This worked, let's do more."

    Aaarrgh! I have a stocking eating desk!

    New office. New desk.

    New desk likes stockings.

    Ruined 3 pairs already.

    Damn you stocking eat desk!

    Do you know how much stockings cost?

    Third day waiting at the bus stop with kindergarten knees.

    Hot Potato! Hot Potato! Blame the Blogger!

    FYI, your theory can make the 11 o'clock news.

    With any poll, results can be manipulated to the desired result.

    Are you saying, Mr. News Organization, that you relied on information combed from bloggers instead of market research firm data?

    Not that that data is any better. Sorry, Honey. :-(

    Back, Left, A, Right Trigger, Y

    The day after and I'm less sullen.

    I've resigned myself to what Lrudlrick has said, "Well, at least, it's only four more years."

    On a happy note, our gas was turned on Monday. Lrudlrick bought 3 lbs of filet mignon at Western Beef and we had a feast.

    Luckily I brought in the leftover cookies to work yesterday. After yesterday's news all the leftover Halloween candy and the chocolate chip cookies were eaten before Kerry could make his concession speech.

    Tuesday and Wednesday were spent battling a cold that has taken over my nasal passages. One nostril runs while the other is blocked to maximum capacity. Why does your nose do that? After 8 years together with Lrudlrick, I have no shame. I spent last night watching Jon Stewart with a wad of tissue up one nostril while trying to breathe from the stuffed one.

    Comfort is a funny thing. Now, I'm not saying I'm all for peeing in front of your spouse. In fact, for me, bathroom time, is me time. It's bad enough that the dogs walk in and sit and stare at me when I'm on the jon. I really don't need you standing on the other side of the door, asking how I'm doing. And not to be rude but, can't the "where is" question wait until I've done my business? But there are certain things that you'd probably be mortified doing in front of anyone but the marriage vows make it seem ok to do in front of your spouse.

    Ok, being sick, your mindset isn't about being attractive. You're more into comfort so illness is not a good example. I guess I hit the nail. You hold back from certain actions/nuances because of attraction. But with marriage comes this clause, "I love you and find you attractive no matter what. Ok, mostly no matter what. There are exceptions, of course."

    Lrudlrick's Obsession of the moment:

    A new mixing panel he can connect to pc. He's doing something with the 'Blinded me with Science' song but he has yet to share.

    Pantrygirl's Bitch session

    What's up with the character profiles in Def Jam's Fight for NY?

    Sure, I can fight Carmen Electra but I can't make my own profile?

    I've been relegated to creating a guy. I added a foot in height and 100 lbs and tried my darndest to pick features that I think I'd have as a guy. I still turned out looking like Lrudlrick's character. [No, married people should not look that alike.]

    I give you props for the cool shopping. I'd like to just shop but I have to fight to get moola to shop. :-(

    Come on Def Jam, make some girl profiles will ya? Oh, and while we're on this topic, who else thinks it would kick ass to have customizable profiles for Dead or Alive? I'd make my profile have huge bouncy boobs just because.

    Finally, has anyone beaten this game with marital arts? I'm wearing my fingers into stubs in martial arts mode. Muthafunga said I should try street fighter. I might just have to do that.

    Wednesday, November 03, 2004

    Election 2004: If I pinch myself hard enough, will I wake up?

    I can't seem to concentrate.

    Everything is in a blur.

    I'm scared.

    How can this be?

    Have we become mindless drones?

    Am I the only one awake?

    I feel like I'm in this sick and twisted horror movie where everyone is walking along in single file and I'm the only one with clarity.


    Monday, November 01, 2004

    Wednesday, October 27, 2004

    Please wash your hands before finding a cure for Tinitus

    Not to be rude but I had to use the bathroom. 

    In my new office, we don't have single bathrooms.  We share a three
    stall bathroom with the lab rats that work by the bathroom.  Yes, my
    bathroom is in a conjoined building.  I'll be in big trouble, the day I
    need to use the facilities quicker than I can get there.

    So I put my key in just as a toilet flushes.  I open the door just as a
    stall door opens.  It's a lab rat girl.  She looks at me and runs out
    of the bathroom, without washing her hands!

    OMG!  Aren't there rules about this stuff?  She's probably working
    on the cure for cancer and she contaminating the specimens!

    Tuesday, October 26, 2004

    Quote of the Week:

    If Bush wins the election, it would seem to represent the triumph of spin
    politics. -- "History will direct Bush's fate" by
    Robert Dallek for USA Today

    New Office, New Fish

    I finally moved to my new office last week.  Ok, actually two Thursday's
    ago but I didn't have a full day of work there until last Wednesday.

    It's quieter and everyone is more independently minded in regards to
    projects.  I sort of like it but I do miss the comraderie found in an IS

    I've got this song stuck in my head, "Whatcha waiting for" from Gwen Stefani. 
    It's not that I like it.  It's just that I can't get the damn Alice in
    Wonderland video out of my head.  I thought platform heels were out in the

    So my first day at the new office, I come in with Italian cookies, I come
    back from lunch with mocha cake.  On the second day, a flood from
    construction upstairs soaks a 2 feet pile of paperwork left from the girl who
    had this position last.  I had a heater blasting the papers scattered on
    the floor when the Executive VP walks in.  I swear she thinks I'm a pig.

    I also picked up three neons last week.  Larry, Curly and Moe are
    sitting by my lamp hanging out with the multitude of snails, Amy, donated. 
    Her tank looks like snails are overtaking her fish.  It's actually kind of
    scary if you think about all the snail love that was going on at her desk. 
    LCM don't like being watched and pretty much run away from me when I feed them. 
    Guess they heard about Clyde Frog.

    Wednesday, October 20, 2004

    I dub thee Lord and Lady Lrudlrick........


    Hubby's new name is Lrudlrick, as per XM Radio's billing department. 
    Henceforth, Hubby is now dubbed Lrudlrick.

    Bright light city gonna set my soul, Gonna set my soul on fire

    Imagine driving on a stretch of road that has a divider between traffic.
    Imagine being on this road on the wrong side and desperately trying to find an outlet that would allow you to do so. Imagine being on this road and passing 4 towns before finding an outlet which turns out to be a side road to the local airport. Imagine being on this road with a husband who at every passing light is bemoaning about the state you are in. Imagine driving down this road with the Dead Kennedys' rendition of 'Viva Las Vegas'.

    This folks, is what it's like driving in Jersey.

    All hubby wanted to do was check out a WalMart. Yes, we've never been to a WalMart and for some silly reason, part of my birthday weekend of doing things we normally don't do involved going to a WalMart.We grab the directions from their website and head to Jersey, backwater country for us. I swear to you the directions given were an omen. Ok folks. Go to the WalMart website and look up the directions for the Saddle Brook, NJ store. Got them? Good. Now, throw them out. 'Cause if you follow it to the letter, which we did, you wind up in a residential circle. No lie. In truth, the instructions are good up to 'ESSEX ST becomes MARKET ST.' They aren't lying about that. But if you make a left at Legregni and then a left at N.Lanza, you wind up at E.Lanza and eventually S.Lanza and then back to Legregni.

    So I call Wal-Mart. “Uh, well I couldn't tell you how to get there from where you are but you need to go to the underpass and make a left.” Thanks. But how are you sure that I'm at the right underpass. And while looking for your itty bitty street signs, I've got my husband worried about on coming trains. There are a billion train tracks in Jersey and the only thing between us and death is a single tiny gate arm.

    Well, I gave up and used our GPS, aka my brain and a AAA free metro area map.
    That's when the Viva Las Vegas started. If you ever find yourself on Rte 17 or 46 in Jersey, you'll understand. We got onto Rte 46 and were elated to see a Wal-Mart sign at the next light. We weren't so elated when we watched the sign pass us as we had no outlet to turn into to get there.

    Three towns later, we're passing Lodi's Pizza and Hubby is getting irate.
    Viva Las Vegas is on and I can't help but start laughing uncontrollably.
    By the time we found an outlet, we were by the local airport and hubby exclaims,
    “Oh my god, is this how a terrorist can get to a plane? We're practically on the runway.” By this time the ending to the Viva is on. You know the really fast part. I'm hyperventilating and we're heading back to Saddle Brook to of all places, WalMart.
    By the way, WalMart sucks.

    Tuesday, October 12, 2004

    We Even Did Menage-a-Trois

    It's been a hectic few days.

    So hectic, I haven't had a chance to contemplate the last few days of my 20's.

    I'm sick of sleeping in the living room and I'm ready to return to gas cooking.

    Work is more chaotic than ever.  My co-workers at my old department are suddenly developing blockages when it comes to my projects I've transitioned to
    them so I'm spending my mornings reminding them of deadlines etc.  We have two new hires, one project manager who will taking over my interface projects
    and one office assistant who I'm hoping can help me organize my predecessor's files in a way my OCD will tolerate.  A third hire, will be taking over my
    Revenue projects.  He should be starting soon.  And I still haven't moved.

    A few frustrations with lack of professionalism in the old office not to mention lackadaisical attitude left me and my co-worker in dire need of drinks
    on Friday and we did just that.  Actually it was the first in many celebrations planned for October birthdays.  The next event involves
    clubbing.  In all honesty, clubbing with my co-workers isn't appealing.

    Tomorrow the bed people are supposed to show up and clean it.  Personally, I think it's cleaner from me cleaning but hubby made such a big
    stink about keeping niceties nice he made me call them.  That was nearly four weeks ago.  Since then, he has wrestled and played with the dogs on
    the naked mattress.  Excuse me, but I don't think dogs should be on our naked mattress.  It's one thing if they are on the bed with us when we have
    sheets and blankets.  But I do what I must to make him happy.

    Off to the news front:

    You know that I'm a Yankee fan.  I love them and mean no disrespect but why did Mariano have an electrified fence by his pool?  To keep rottweilers
    out?  What about a regular fence?  Or maybe a dog collar boundary doohickey?  May the faithfully departed rest in peace but Mariano, please
    rethink your canine security measures.

    Oh, and if you haven't seen jibjab's new song, "It's
    Good to Be in DC
    "  please check them out.  Anyone else feel for Clinton?

    Friday, October 08, 2004

    The year the Potato gods rained down on us.....

    I just want to thank my hubby for making me smile.

    Every time I make a meal I guess he's most impressed with, he always takes a photo of it.  We joked last night that we'd be gum smacking old people
    discussing the 'Great Pot Roast of 2004'.

    He does it without asking or my knowledge sometimes.  We have photos of Turkeys, Salmon, Cookies, etc.  Actually, maybe I should make a collage and
    put it in our kitchen.

    Thank you for making me feel so special and appreciated.

    And prepare yourself for pot roast for dinner 'cause 4 lbs of roast is alot!

    Thursday, October 07, 2004

    if you want me to party, give me a raise.

    ok.  today i have a rant.

    think me insensitive but do i really need to donate for a fruit basket each time a co-worker's family member dies?

    is it not bad enough that you people have parties every two weeks?

    is it not bad enough that celebratory parties for project completions come out of our pockets?  "let's celebrate the completion of a job well done! -
    director"  am i the only one that assumes that means the company is taking us out for drinks?  i don't expect to be bombarded with a $75/head cover

    and really, i see you people more than i see my family.  there is no need to go dancing with you guys.

    now, if a parent/immediate family member dies, a condolence card may be called for.  heck, a potted plant for the funeral is fine (except for
    jewish families, of course).  but an uncle?  a grandparent?  where was my fruit basket when my grandmother died?  and that woman raised

    b/w parties, cakes, condolences, dinners, luncheons, children's school benefits etc, i should just direct deposit my check to the office.

    Friday, October 01, 2004

    Words to Live By

    He has made everything appropriate to its time, and has put the timeless into their hearts, without men's ever discovering, from beginning to end, the work which God has done. -- Ecclesiastes 3:11

    Related tags:

    In the Papers:

    Man suspecting wife of lying, lights her pants on fire.

    Man's name: Leroy Brown.

    No word on Doris, his custom Continental or his Eldorado.

    Thursday, September 30, 2004

    My skirt is Magellan.

    Why does my skirt always circumnavigate me when I'm walking?

    Doesn't matter if skirt is an A-Line, Pleated or Fluted.

    No, the skirt is the right size. It's not too small or too big.

    Why is it I'm the only one with this problem? I don't see other New Yorkers walking around with their skirt spinning around their waist like a Hulahoop.

    For a while, I thought it might be my hips and so I purposely walked very straight, no side to side movements, no underroos butt jiggling. [Not that I do that purposely.]

    All that gave me was a stiff neck and more cab rides.

    Wednesday, September 29, 2004

    Voting in September. Is it a well-informed vote or simply party line voting?

    Did you know that 31 states have early voting rights?  That's nearly 54% of the voting population!

    People in Iowa have the ability to vote now for who should be president.

    Now, I'm not sure what the rationale was to allow voting so early.  I suppose it has something to do with tabulating votes but who aside from the
    die-hards are ready to vote?  I sure am not.  Yes, I have my party preferences but I still am researching where the candidates stand in key issues. 
    Debates haven't started.  We just spent the last two months in military record murkiness.

    If you look at the map of who gets to vote early, you will see that the east coast is the hold out states.  Maybe we're overly cautious.  Maybe we
    just want to preserve the tradition of a national day of voting.  Maybe we're so pressed for time that having a standing appt on the Tuesday after the
    first Monday in November as comforting.

    If states wish to grant early voting, they should at least do so during October and not in September when even the candidates are coming back from

    Tuesday, September 28, 2004

    2 days to the Heavyweight championship debate...

    Viewers of Jon Stewart's show are more likely to have completed four years of college than people who watch "The O'Reilly Factor," according to Nielsen Media
    Research. - David Bauder, Associated Press

    Ok.  I hate it when I am asked me what's going on in the political front.  Not that I am annoyed with the topic of politics but how they ask

    "What's going on with Dan Rather?  What's the story?  Obviously it's big because Jay Leno made a joke."

    Ok, just because you get your political news from references made from late night talk shows warrants me not to explain/inform.  I'm not saying that
    I'm the most in the know.  Heck, my hubby reigns in that department.  He has our tv programmed to change b/w Msnbc, Fox news, NY1 and CNN throughout
    the day.  He then has it linked to the internet to allow viewing at our offices.  I'd like to say that I'm informed but can be more informed.

    But, geez.  Do you not see how uninformed you look by asking me about Swift boats not because you saw the commercial or read a headline in the
    newspaper but from a comment made by Conan O'Brien?  At least reference Jon Stewart.

    Now, I love Jon Stewart.  And I'm pitching his book, America, the Book.  Run out and get it and share with friends.  I brought mine
    into the office.  At first, I was worried I'd be reprimanded for partisanship displays in the workplace but thankfully, the people I shared the
    book with realized that Jon may be partisan but heck the Daily Show is not.  If anything, they are equal opportunitists.  Ok, maybe not for this
    election but it's hard not to be.

    We're hitting the first debate in two days.  In my opinion, this is the time that voters should really start paying attention.  Forget the flip
    flopping.  Everyone flips and flops on the campaign trail.  [BTW, if Bush focuses all his attention on Kerry's flips and flops, I'll be starting a
    drinking game for the rest of the debates.  I mean, geez, not all of us can stick to our guns, regardless if we're blatantly wrong.]  Now is the time
    for both candidates to step up and tell America what they stand for.

    [Oh, and if Bush mentions 9/11 or terrorists, it's a free-for-all for me.  Seriously, can America be any more scared?]

    I've heard of debate socials that are cropping up in the city.  Me, I think I'll sit this one at home with a cold beer and my Replay. 


    Guess I was wrong:

    Concerns that people who receive their political information from late-night comedy shows may not be adequately familiar with the issues in order to vote knowledgeably appeared to be laid to rest Monday by a study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania's National Annenberg Election Survey. In a poll conducted between July 15 and Sept. 19, nearly 20,000 young adults were asked six questions about the presidential candidates' stands on various issues. Those who watched no late-night comedy shows answered 2.62 questions correctly. David Letterman's viewers answered 2.91; Jay Leno,'s 2.95; and Jon Stewart's (The Daily Show) 3.59. The results for Stewart appeared particularly striking to the pollsters, who noted that his viewers "have higher campaign knowledge than national news viewers and newspaper readers."

    You heard it hear:

    hey boss...

    does this look weird to you? -- muthafunga on showing your boss his twigs and berries

    Of course, this involved another miscommunication by pg.

    muthafunga: i have to look it up now

    pg: omg, i thought you wrote, i have to look at it now.

    Monday, September 27, 2004

    You heard it hear:

    pg: frickin planning my days around when i can go pick up the
    speciality dog food from the vet.

    my pets are spoiled.

    muthafunga: and the dog ice cream

    pg: oh, bought that already.

    but they ran out of the peanut butter flavored.

    had to pick up vanilla.

    my next life, i need to be a dog to someone like me.

    muthafunga: kobe calf

    funny thing is.. your kids won't be seeing the light of day

    pg: they'll be nocturnal.

    When your co-workers are suddenly roommates...

    Met with friends from Vermont over the weekend.  Reminded me how patience is subject to the subject.

    Beth had mentioned that patience for the children is about the only patience she has.  She's a special ed teacher.  I agree.  My tolerance
    level is non-existent with adults.  Now, I really try.  Not everyone will color coordinate, label, evenly distribute columns within spreadsheets. 
    I know this and I'm fine with it.  (Ok, sometimes.)  But I shouldn't have to show an adult with a 'normal' intelligence level how to create a query
    or write an argument more than twice.  Three times if it's tricky but that's my limit.

    Luckily, in recent months, it hasn't happened that often.  When it has, I breathe and let it rolled down my spine.  Hubby keeps claiming that he's
    worried that I'll lose patience and have no tolerance for children.  He may be right.  He may be wrong.  All I know is that nowadays, when I hear
    a child screaming or throwing a fit, I tune them out.  I used to try to calm them down.  Now I look at the parents, smile and hand the kid over. 
    I figure, if we have kids, I'll have plenty of tantrums to deal with myself.

    I have other issues with professionalism.  Here is a list of items I 've seen in my office that deems unprofessional:

    • Clipping fingernails

    • Spraying your shoes with disinfectant

    • Scream out the bosses name and run towards her office (Exception is if there is a fire or the server blows up.)

    • Speaking of politically incorrect items that were told in the context of the office.  ie.  Doug said that the women here need to wear shorter
      skirts and get lower IQs.

    • Taking photos of co-workers and photoshopping them and displaying them on a bulletin board.  (Ok, the first part is fine.  Distribute it via
      email or im and that's it.  No need to outwardly display them.)

    Honestly, we as a collective in this office have been together too long.  Hence the complete lack of personal space and privacy.

    I'm still hoping to move my desk around in the office.  I'm seriously not liking the configuration.  Also, thinking of replacing my frog with
    fish.  Since I don't have a window, I'm trying to fill it with live animals and plants to give the bunker a more homey feel.  Will see.

    Sunday, September 26, 2004

    You heard it hear:

    pg:Is that the cantina?


    pg:I swear, we'll be 80 and we'll always know the cantina.

    Friday, September 24, 2004

    Cerebral Aneurysm:

    You see, I'm like an animal. When dogs see a dead bird, do they not sniff it? -- client on the subject of why he had cake with us the last time we had Elaine

    Thursday, September 23, 2004

    What ever happened to dressing for success?

    Read an article about a father who was upset the principal duct taped his son's pants.  They were
    too low under school dress code standards.

    I see nothing wrong with this and in fact, believe it's darn time they do something about the disheveled, half-dressed look kids wear nowadays.

    Maybe I'm from a parochial mentality.  But maybe a little embarrassment will stop him from having his ass hang over his pant's waist.

    Hubby last night mentioned how in his pubescent years, the key was dressing to impress.  You want to stand out (ok, in the 80's standing out meant
    fitting into several categories.  but nonetheless....) but you want to look clean.  Why?  Because you want to get laid and clean people generally
    get laid more than dirty people.  [Please don't debate me on the later.]

    It's true.  Sure I had high hair, blue eyeliner and pink lipstick.  Sure I wore 8 million scrunchie socks and bracelets.  Oh, and who can
    forget the pale skin, stick straight hair, bright red lipstick phase I went through.  But my clothes fit and were clean.  My ass wasn't sitting on
    my pant waist and my midriff wasn't bare to all.  (Ok, maybe a little belly button.)

    I think all schools should have a little duct tape.  If I had to have ruler inspections of skirts, undershort inspections and hair cut regulations, a
    little duct tape won't hurt kids today.

    Heck, when I was in school, my classmate was duct taped to her seat, my girlfriend's boyfriend had us color in his head with permanent marker to avoid
    detention for a too short buzz cut and our dean periodically inspected to ensure that we weren't wearing shorts under our skirts.  Ok, the last one was a
    bit invasive and if anything spooky and creepy now that I think about it.

    We were hit with rulers, chalk, chalkboard erasers.  We had to put gum on our nose if we were caught chewing it in class.

    I say, bring back civics and civility back into the classrooms.

    Wednesday, September 22, 2004

    PG's TV Break: Spawns: Miami and SVU (it's not an automobile?)

    Fall Television has begun.  Spoilers ahead......

    Good grief.  The two shows I watch last night had two children who will definitely need some serious counseling.

    CSI: Miami and Law & Order: SVU

    Geez.  Is this going to be the year of disturbed children?  One kid is left in swampland to be eaten by sharks and gators.  Another is
    constantly being abducted.

    CSI: Miami is not my favorite CSI but if I look at it with the knowledge that it could be a great drinking game show just by watching David Caruso, this
    generation's Shatner, then it's entertaining.  But to go and kill off my favorite Miami CSI'r.  Good grief.  I went from disbelief to anger to
    sadness then anger again.  And to blame him for his death is even worse.  Good grief at least give him some sort of hero ending.

    What do I think about the New York CSI?  Thanks for making us look like we're the least technologically advanced (no need for that type of realism now). 
    Good grief, we're they doing an autopsy under the Manhattan Bridge?  Then there is the Gotham of Batman's World dreariness.  Are they recycling sets
    from Darkman?  Maybe the season premiere will lighten up.

    I like Gary Sinise.  He's cute yet deranged looking.  Just the type of man I like.  I wonder what his kirkiness will be?  Horatio has his
    sunglasses, or as TWP calls them, the Shades of Justice.  Grissom has bugs and let's face it, Sara.  CSI writers, just remember toothpicks, donuts,
    chewing gum and lollipops have been taken.  Oh and nuts, if you count that guy with the round head from Magnum P.I. [Yeah. Yeah.  I know that was a

    Sleepiness and cranky dogs make pg something something.....

    I started cleaning my desk.  I have four big boxes behind me with more stuff to pack.  Can you believe I'm not even taking stuff that isn't
    necessary?  Yes, I feel strange I'm leaving this great work environment to move to the bunkers.  It's not like I'm going to be disconnected from this
    office.  I'll be working closely with them but in another capacity.  It's just weird going through my files and realizing all the events and
    craziness that have happened in the last 5 years.

    I'm also very sleepy.  For the last two weeks, I've wanted so badly to just sleep in and relax.  I haven't been able to sleep in.  The
    closest I came to sleeping in was on Sunday when I woke up late for church.  With this new job, I don't get flex time either so I'm missing my 'me' time. 
    I think I'm going to take 3 days off near my birthday to just veg.  I'd love to just do nothing.  Right now, I'd settle for just a little sleep. 

    I'm sure P-man would like the same.  Hubby spent last night constantly waking up the P-man.  By the fifth wake up, he starting whining like a
    baby.  We were really comfy too.  He had his chin on my chest and was totally relaxed when Hubby rolls him over and starts tickling his belly. 
    Why did he make it his mission to keep him up?  Who knows.  Hubby did say though that he didn't understand why he's so tired when all he does is sleep
    during the day.

    Mind you, my tiredness isn't helped by me consistently falling asleep no earlier than 1:30am.  I try to relax but my mind hasn't slowed down. 
    It's like my brain is running in 4th gear and can't settle down to 2nd until late night.

    My brother and I are going to the San Gennaro festival tonight.  Of course, it can't go as planned.  I called hubby to ask him whether he wants
    to bum a ride with bro, take a train or drive the car.  He tells me that my file cabinet came in and I need to go to the Flatiron district to pick it up. 
    When I ask him what he'd like to do, he tells me it's up to me.  If it was up to me right now, I'd take a nice nap, snag a ride then scarf a ton of Italian
    sausages and zeppoles.  But of course, I want my cabinet too.  So I'm hoofing it home and grabbing the car, going to pick up my cabinet and then
    heading to the feast.

    Oh and I need to change my shoes.  For goodness sakes, I've walked home in these shoes and yet today my soles are killing me and I've sat down most of
    the day.  But alas, my vanity has hit me again.  Hubby just called and asked if I want some other shoes and I couldn't think of another pair that works
    with the outfit.  He said he'll give me time to think about it and call me back.  If I was a guy, would I be this vain?  Geez.


    Monday, September 20, 2004

    Dog Poo, Coalmines and Doppelgangers

    I love these crisp autumn feeling mornings.  I'm a huge fan of the transition seasons. 

    Today, as I walked the dogs, the cool wind circling around me felt wonderful.  I felt like fresh air was sweeping in.  It sounds weird but I felt like
    Pocahontas (the Disney one) when all those symbols sweep around her.  Then I a slight sniff of dog poo brought me back to reality.

    My grumpiness subsided yesterday.  I guess hubby knew I was a bit grouchy and was trying extra hard to be understanding. 

    I'm sorry but this may sound like a chicken way out but sometimes I know I'm getting to the grumpy point and UI just let it happen.  I mean, I don't
    want to stay grumpy and if I can prevent it I do.  But sometimes it's like a keg and it has to blow.  I don't recall being like that before. 
    It's just recently that I've noticed that I get this funk and no, it doesn't coincide with Flo.

    Lord, I have a headache.  I'm tired, hungry and know that I'm getting to a point where if I don't go home, my head won't stop calculating and I won't get
    a good night's rest.  My co-worker is making me promise we leave in ten minutes.

    Thankfully I just finished the calculations.  They look awful but I'll deal with trying to figure out why were not footing tomorrow.

    BTW, all this calculations and validations made me realize, I do not want to be doing this when I'm 60.  Seriously.  I'm not saying change my
    profession.  I'm saying I do not want to be working in my 60's.  A picture of me hunched over a paper drenched desk with a single lamp and my
    monitor providing light is too scary.

    Tonight, I rest for tomorrow promises to be insane.

    Oh, so my brother calls me yesterday and says that my doppelganger is sitting next to him at Mickey Dee's @ the Intrepid scarfing on a Big Mac.  Ok,
    there was a time I would be insulted.  There is only one PG.  But When I was 9, I met my doppelganger.  I was having tea with my parents in
    Chinatown when a couple sat at the opposite end of the table.  (In chinatown, you share tables.)  They sat the little girl right next to me. 
    She spoke fluent English, had her hair in pigtails (ok not a big coincidence) and wore a
    similar pink dress.  She turned to me and said, "Hi my name is
    PG."  Turned out we had the same name, same birth month and same favorite color.

    Back to yesterday, so my brother said he saw my doppelganger.  He said she had the same mannerisms, dress and appearance.  Which lead my hubby to
    say that one night at a bar with his buddies he saw a doppelganger of me.  He was a bit wigged and then thought it would be hot if we made out.  Men.

    Now, ok.  All Asian people look the same.  I've heard that.  So maybe it was just the common denominator of being Asian.  But then it
    made me wonder, if my family swears that there are doppelgangers of me floating around, do they have any tips for me?  Any lessons I haven't learned yet? 
    Come on.  If you are my doppelganger, give me some life lessons and I'll share with you mine.  'Cause it hard enough to do it alone.