Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Please wash your hands before finding a cure for Tinitus

Not to be rude but I had to use the bathroom. 


In my new office, we don't have single bathrooms.  We share a three
stall bathroom with the lab rats that work by the bathroom.  Yes, my
bathroom is in a conjoined building.  I'll be in big trouble, the day I
need to use the facilities quicker than I can get there.


So I put my key in just as a toilet flushes.  I open the door just as a
stall door opens.  It's a lab rat girl.  She looks at me and runs out
of the bathroom, without washing her hands!


OMG!  Aren't there rules about this stuff?  She's probably working
on the cure for cancer and she contaminating the specimens!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Quote of the Week:

If Bush wins the election, it would seem to represent the triumph of spin
politics. -- "History will direct Bush's fate" by
Robert Dallek for USA Today

New Office, New Fish

I finally moved to my new office last week.  Ok, actually two Thursday's
ago but I didn't have a full day of work there until last Wednesday.


It's quieter and everyone is more independently minded in regards to
projects.  I sort of like it but I do miss the comraderie found in an IS
office.


I've got this song stuck in my head, "Whatcha waiting for" from Gwen Stefani. 
It's not that I like it.  It's just that I can't get the damn Alice in
Wonderland video out of my head.  I thought platform heels were out in the
90's.


So my first day at the new office, I come in with Italian cookies, I come
back from lunch with mocha cake.  On the second day, a flood from
construction upstairs soaks a 2 feet pile of paperwork left from the girl who
had this position last.  I had a heater blasting the papers scattered on
the floor when the Executive VP walks in.  I swear she thinks I'm a pig.


I also picked up three neons last week.  Larry, Curly and Moe are
sitting by my lamp hanging out with the multitude of snails, Amy, donated. 
Her tank looks like snails are overtaking her fish.  It's actually kind of
scary if you think about all the snail love that was going on at her desk. 
LCM don't like being watched and pretty much run away from me when I feed them. 
Guess they heard about Clyde Frog.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I dub thee Lord and Lady Lrudlrick........

Lrudlrick


Hubby's new name is Lrudlrick, as per XM Radio's billing department. 
Henceforth, Hubby is now dubbed Lrudlrick.

Bright light city gonna set my soul, Gonna set my soul on fire

Imagine driving on a stretch of road that has a divider between traffic.
Imagine being on this road on the wrong side and desperately trying to find an outlet that would allow you to do so. Imagine being on this road and passing 4 towns before finding an outlet which turns out to be a side road to the local airport. Imagine being on this road with a husband who at every passing light is bemoaning about the state you are in. Imagine driving down this road with the Dead Kennedys' rendition of 'Viva Las Vegas'.

This folks, is what it's like driving in Jersey.

All hubby wanted to do was check out a WalMart. Yes, we've never been to a WalMart and for some silly reason, part of my birthday weekend of doing things we normally don't do involved going to a WalMart.We grab the directions from their website and head to Jersey, backwater country for us. I swear to you the directions given were an omen. Ok folks. Go to the WalMart website and look up the directions for the Saddle Brook, NJ store. Got them? Good. Now, throw them out. 'Cause if you follow it to the letter, which we did, you wind up in a residential circle. No lie. In truth, the instructions are good up to 'ESSEX ST becomes MARKET ST.' They aren't lying about that. But if you make a left at Legregni and then a left at N.Lanza, you wind up at E.Lanza and eventually S.Lanza and then back to Legregni.

So I call Wal-Mart. “Uh, well I couldn't tell you how to get there from where you are but you need to go to the underpass and make a left.” Thanks. But how are you sure that I'm at the right underpass. And while looking for your itty bitty street signs, I've got my husband worried about on coming trains. There are a billion train tracks in Jersey and the only thing between us and death is a single tiny gate arm.

Well, I gave up and used our GPS, aka my brain and a AAA free metro area map.
That's when the Viva Las Vegas started. If you ever find yourself on Rte 17 or 46 in Jersey, you'll understand. We got onto Rte 46 and were elated to see a Wal-Mart sign at the next light. We weren't so elated when we watched the sign pass us as we had no outlet to turn into to get there.

Three towns later, we're passing Lodi's Pizza and Hubby is getting irate.
Viva Las Vegas is on and I can't help but start laughing uncontrollably.
By the time we found an outlet, we were by the local airport and hubby exclaims,
“Oh my god, is this how a terrorist can get to a plane? We're practically on the runway.” By this time the ending to the Viva is on. You know the really fast part. I'm hyperventilating and we're heading back to Saddle Brook to of all places, WalMart.
By the way, WalMart sucks.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

We Even Did Menage-a-Trois

It's been a hectic few days.


So hectic, I haven't had a chance to contemplate the last few days of my 20's.


I'm sick of sleeping in the living room and I'm ready to return to gas cooking.


Work is more chaotic than ever.  My co-workers at my old department are suddenly developing blockages when it comes to my projects I've transitioned to
them so I'm spending my mornings reminding them of deadlines etc.  We have two new hires, one project manager who will taking over my interface projects
and one office assistant who I'm hoping can help me organize my predecessor's files in a way my OCD will tolerate.  A third hire, will be taking over my
Revenue projects.  He should be starting soon.  And I still haven't moved.


A few frustrations with lack of professionalism in the old office not to mention lackadaisical attitude left me and my co-worker in dire need of drinks
on Friday and we did just that.  Actually it was the first in many celebrations planned for October birthdays.  The next event involves
clubbing.  In all honesty, clubbing with my co-workers isn't appealing.


Tomorrow the bed people are supposed to show up and clean it.  Personally, I think it's cleaner from me cleaning but hubby made such a big
stink about keeping niceties nice he made me call them.  That was nearly four weeks ago.  Since then, he has wrestled and played with the dogs on
the naked mattress.  Excuse me, but I don't think dogs should be on our naked mattress.  It's one thing if they are on the bed with us when we have
sheets and blankets.  But I do what I must to make him happy.


Off to the news front:


You know that I'm a Yankee fan.  I love them and mean no disrespect but why did Mariano have an electrified fence by his pool?  To keep rottweilers
out?  What about a regular fence?  Or maybe a dog collar boundary doohickey?  May the faithfully departed rest in peace but Mariano, please
rethink your canine security measures.


Oh, and if you haven't seen jibjab's new song, "It's
Good to Be in DC
"  please check them out.  Anyone else feel for Clinton?

Friday, October 08, 2004

The year the Potato gods rained down on us.....

I just want to thank my hubby for making me smile.


Every time I make a meal I guess he's most impressed with, he always takes a photo of it.  We joked last night that we'd be gum smacking old people
discussing the 'Great Pot Roast of 2004'.


He does it without asking or my knowledge sometimes.  We have photos of Turkeys, Salmon, Cookies, etc.  Actually, maybe I should make a collage and
put it in our kitchen.


Thank you for making me feel so special and appreciated.


And prepare yourself for pot roast for dinner 'cause 4 lbs of roast is alot!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

if you want me to party, give me a raise.

ok.  today i have a rant.


think me insensitive but do i really need to donate for a fruit basket each time a co-worker's family member dies?


is it not bad enough that you people have parties every two weeks?


is it not bad enough that celebratory parties for project completions come out of our pockets?  "let's celebrate the completion of a job well done! -
director"  am i the only one that assumes that means the company is taking us out for drinks?  i don't expect to be bombarded with a $75/head cover
charge.


and really, i see you people more than i see my family.  there is no need to go dancing with you guys.


now, if a parent/immediate family member dies, a condolence card may be called for.  heck, a potted plant for the funeral is fine (except for
jewish families, of course).  but an uncle?  a grandparent?  where was my fruit basket when my grandmother died?  and that woman raised
me!


b/w parties, cakes, condolences, dinners, luncheons, children's school benefits etc, i should just direct deposit my check to the office.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Words to Live By

He has made everything appropriate to its time, and has put the timeless into their hearts, without men's ever discovering, from beginning to end, the work which God has done. -- Ecclesiastes 3:11

Related tags:

In the Papers:


Man suspecting wife of lying, lights her pants on fire.


Man's name: Leroy Brown.


No word on Doris, his custom Continental or his Eldorado.