Monday, November 29, 2004

Santa, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy walk into a bar...

Ok. Where do I begin? It's been a while and my head is floating with
thoughts, rants and raves. In honor of TV Guide and their 'Cheers and Jeers'
section, I give you:

Pantrygirl's Cheers and Jeers for Thanksgiving 2004



            Good with Turkey and well, just about anything.p>

The main liquid beverage of choice this holiday.

Made the fish and chips tastier made my meatball sub with onions and garlic that much more delicious

It also eased my mind from the looming Christmas panic

Photo Frames

            I completed three big
frames. I also thought that a pretty picture frame with old photos of my hubby
would be a good present for my MIL.

            Oh, and in a
freaky-earth-stopped-rotating-for-a-brief-moment, my FIL gave me a photo of his
parents to add to my grandparent frame.

Toys R Us

our Christmas shopping excursion which turned into a Frosted Mini class=SpellE>Wheats moment for Lrudlrick? Well the toy car he bought for
himself was less entertaining than originally thought. Isn’t that always the
case? So we had to return it. Luckily the line was short. But while we were
there I noticed that they had all the Santa Clause is Coming
to Town ornaments excluding the Heat and Snow Miser. I checked it out on EBay.
So far it’s going for $80.00! Damn you people! If anyone sees the Heat and Snow
Miser for a reasonable price, email me.

Thanksgiving with Family

is my favorite family holiday because it’s about food and family and that’s it.
No searching for the one gift that he/she would love. No expectations, except
for turkey, corn and ribs. In a photo that I regret I didn’t take, Baby Matt
chose Heineken over Similac. Sometimes I wish I had a
camera implanted in my head.

Christmas presents

got the kids presents down and I’m relieved. Now I just need to wrap them. I
even bought the batteries. (Damn you battery people/toy people! 3 class=SpellE>AAs when you know perfectly well that they only come in
packs of four!)

Couch bonding

            In another cosmos-changing
event, my Step-MIL bonded with us. We got Lrudlrick’s dad to finally loosen his
wallet and buy a new couch and loveseat. His couch was older than me and when
you sat down, you had to hold yourself up with your forearms to avoid neck and
back injury. So we headed to Macy’s and got a new leather couch set. During
this time, Step-MIL not only let me hang out with her daughter by myself, she
also left the room for extended periods of time!

Baby sis had a ball. We had her on top of the oriental rugs and she jumped
into Lrudlrick’s arms. We got her on the recliner and played spaceship. Who
knows when this moment will come again but I’m glad that we went. To the hopes
that this is a beginning to further developments in the baby sis front…



Wool Sweaters

            Ok. It’s bad enough that my
mother’s handmade sweater she knitted for her was tossed aside because she
feels wool is bad for her daughter but when your daughter playfully plays with
my scarf, she’s scolded for allowing it near her face! Good grief woman, you
cannot protect your child from every dust mite in the world!

Children should be seen and not

            And if your child wants to
giggle loudly when we tickle her, she should. We’re in a
frickin’ car.
It’s not like we’re in the Smithsonian. (Besides, I’m sure
the Smithsonian, wouldn’t mind a laughing child versus a crying one.) Put on
your Christina Aguilera tape and let us in the back have our class=SpellE>gigglefest.

Christmas presents

after 8 years, I’m tired of hearing you say that you want your daughter to bond
with the family. Prove it. Every year, we plead with them to come to the family
Christmas Eve party. Every year, we get one excuse after another. For two
straight years, I swear they planned their France
trip around the event just to avoid it. This year’s excuse is, I’m cheap and
don’t want to buy presents for everyone. 1. You showing up would be present
enough. B. You showing up would be present enough. Have we not gone through
this with your son’s birthday? Lrudlrick even offered to drive to their house,
pick up baby sis and go as the threesome. FIL turns all Woody Allen and can’t
make a coherent sentence.

Christmas presents part II

            Now, I’ve got the hard
presents left. Actually, they aren’t really hard it’s just that they are couples
and it’s difficult to get a present for a couple that both parties would like.
My most difficult are always the parents. See, I know what my mom would like
but my stepdad, not so much. In October, we decided
on hockey tickets but well, they heard me speak and decided to strike. Then
there is my MIL who would love anything that says ‘Holistic’ or ‘Natural’ on
it. My Step-FIL would love a gift certificate to an old record shop but I’m not
sure which ones are good. Must do some research. My FIL would be happy with a class=SpellE>neverending supply of coffee and pastries from the local
bakery but I have no clue what to give my Step-MIL.
Maybe I should get her a decorating magazine subscription but then again, she’d
probably say that the designs aren’t her style. Maybe I should just buy her

Santa, The
Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy

excuse that finally fumbles out is that he’s afraid the cousins would tell her
that Santa did not exist. Dude, the girl doesn’t even like stuffed animals
because they don’t look real. There is no way this girl truly believes in
Santa. Besides, it’s not like they are all going to run around and say there is
no Santa.

Purses and lip gloss

sis declined berry lip gloss! I have never met a 9 year old girl who didn’t
want to play dress up once and a while. This explains why my bracelets, purses
and other fashion trinkets have never been worn or found anywhere in the house.
I swear my first word was gloss!

Cordless Phones

            My mother, in a past life,
has done something that now causes every single cordless phone that reaches her
hands to die and painful death. This year alone, she has gone through four
phones. She got so desperate she has had a phone that plays Christmas tunes
when it rings. My brother called me last night to tell me mom killed her latest
phone. Seriously, I do not know what she does to them. At first I thought she
just kept draining the battery but it’s been nearly ten years now and it can’t
always be the same thing. So now my brother wants to buy her a new phone for Christmas.
Maybe she’d do better with a corded phone. We can always buy her a six foot

I started working on my Christmas cards. I’m such an ass to take this
on. It’s going ok but I’m realizing that buying a pre-printed card is so much
more appealing now than ever before.

MIL has called with a definite. She’s coming next week. Of course if it
snows, she may change her mind again. I’m going to go ahead as if she’s coming.
Which means my list of to dos has doubled. She wants a facial so I need to call
the spa. She wants a haircut so I have to find the number again. Finally, she’s
coming so I need to make my beer bread, stock up on whole wheat bread and buy
some fish because she’s not going to be eating steak like Lrudlrick and I do. I
swear we eat so much red meat; I’m going to have to be careful if I ever find
myself in a cattle ranch. They’ll start a stampede just to trample me.