Thursday, April 12, 2012

Manicure Pedicure

So my daughter painted her nails today with a magic marker.
I'm guessing this is a sign that she wants to try her hand at nail polish.
We try to stay away from nail polishes with the big three (Dibutyl Phthalate (DBP), Formaldehyde & Toluene) and those that do not have natural colors. Call me whatever but I've had friends whose children did not take to well to all those additives and so we try our best to stay away when possible.
I figure this is bound to be off interest especially when you have little kids but DH probably is the most discouraged by this than me.
DD knows I wear minimal make up when I go to work. Otherwise, I generally stay makeup free. She pretends to put on eyeshadow and blush and I'm cool with that. I don't wear nailpolish but I know she'll see others with it and will ask. So I know that there will be a time when I or my husband will paint her nails. DH isn't into the whole made up thing but he doesn't outright say no to DD.
So this week, I suppose, I will ask her if she would like me to paint her nails. I have some earth friendly, non-toxic nail polish we can try and we'll see if she likes it.
Personally, I don't think she'll like the semi-permanance of it. She's very much into cleaning up even when we do face painting. After we face paint, she asks us to clean it off. I'm cool with that.
You are beautiful just the way you are, child. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Matter of Fact

DD: You need to close the cap of the marker when you are done.
UA: Yes, you are correct.
DD: Otherwise, the marker will dry.
UA's Mom: You tell him.
DD: I just did.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

While I am at it, shall I spin plates?

I suppose dads and moms are a bit different regarding nurturing and it's normal. I just don't like how I'll be cooking, DS starts crying and I feel as if I need to attend to him and dinner even when I'm not alone.
If it's ok for me to wear our son while I cook why isn't it ok to hold him while he does his work on the computer.
I know our kid will be fine and that a mixture of parenting styles is healthy but it sure is hard on me.

Monday, April 09, 2012

Don't Fence Me In

I know that nighttime parenting is mostly left for me.
I understand this and try to do this as best I can.
Lately though I have found when I need my husband's help juggling two kids and their needs I get a negative reaction. It's so negative, I sometimes find it better for me to leave him be and try to juggle both.

I hate when he throws at me that I'm waking him up.
He wakes me up every time I fall asleep while helping DD go to bed. Do I ever tell him he is waking me up? No. I get up and tend to DS' needs.
I abhor how he will sometimes wake up cussing when he hears our daughter calling for help.
She's a night pee-er. She wakes up a lot to pee. It is just the way it is. It's not her fault. He doesn't cuss in front of her but he does it nonetheless.
Many nights I stay up when the kids are asleep to plan and coordinate activities and events for the family. I also plan the days and pack and sometimes unpack diaper bags and lunch sacks. That doesn't mean that it's ok to assume I can juggle both kids in the middle of the night.
Do you know how many times I've had to nurse DS to bed while attending to DD?
Do you know how many times I've had to handle bedtime for both kids simulataneously and single handedly?
The moment I leave work I have to worry about tidying up the house, prepping the rooms for bedtime, making dinner, cleaning up after dinner and getting the kids to bed.
When I ask for assistance like starting pasta or rice I always come home before its done.
When I ask for dishes to be washed I'm told they will get done the next day maybe.
I am on overdrive from evening until midnight most days.
Still I don't yell or cuss when I'm awoken.
If I say something the response is I woke him up.
If I don't say something, occasionally I'll get an apology.
I know his grumpiness is because he's woken up but that does not excuse it. I'm not here to just take it.
I'm your spouse and you can vent but I am not a punching bag.

Sunday, April 08, 2012


I've been MIA.
I apologize.
I have a list of things I want to share.
I'll start with the most recent item that has been floating in my head.
My aunt died. Well, she's really my cousin, I think, but for clarity sake, we call her aunt. Well, she's my aunt by marriage to confuse it even more.
She had been diagnosed, well misdiagnosed with different types of cancer but it was the big C nonetheless.  She was diagnosed around Thanksgiving. By the timeline, you can tell this is brutal.
I wasn't close close to her but in a way I feel I was. I am close to one of her daughters, my cousin (again, it's really hard to keep track in a big family). 
The hardest thing about losing my aunt is not that she isn't with me anymore as her last months were painful. The hardest part was seeing a family go through what my family went through with my dad.
I can't even sum it up. The emotions run the gamut but it all boils down to love. It's love that makes us do the things we do. It's love that helps us endure what we must. It's love that helps us through some of the most painful experiences.
I don't want to go through all the memories that are now etched in my brain. I don't want to go through the memories these fresh ones are pulling up to the surface.
I now have an added milestone in my parenting road, explaining the circle of life. I know she's still young so I'm keeping it at baby steps.
DH and I opted to not bring the kids to the wake. We felt the open casket may be a bit too harsh of an introduction. I went to the afternoon wake and DH went to the evening wake.
At night during prayers, I explained that our Aunt was up with Jesus. I said that we were going to church to say goodbye. Since we've been talking about Easter she added that Jesus saved us and that Jesus saved our Aunt. I gave her a big hug.
The funeral mass we felt was similar enough to our weekly mass that DD and DS attended the mass. We escorted our Aunt to her resting place and DH and his mother attended the burial while the kids stayed with me in the car. I fed both kids and we read, played and talked. 
She asked about the coffin and she asked why we cried sometimes. I kept it simple and said the coffin was where her body was resting but that she was up in heaven looking after us. I told her we were crying because we were said to see her go but know she's always near us especially when we pray.
She was a real trooper. The day was very long for her and she held her own. They only time I saw the day was getting to her was during her usual naptime/quiettime. We were at the restaurant afterwards and she just hugged me and sat on my lap.
It was a tiring and emotional few days and I probably worried about how this life experience would effect her.
I recall my first experience with death and a family member when I was 5. My uncle passed away and I recall the church, the church parking lot, the open coffin, being in my Dad's arms saying goodbye to the body and waiting in the car with my Dad at the cemetery. It's little pops of events during the day. It isn't a smooth memory. The only smooth memory is my Dad carrying me to see the body and his voice telling me that my Uncle was in a deep sleep and we were saying goodbye.
I wonder what her memories will be of.

Saturday, April 07, 2012

The Little Mommy Engine That Could

I am exhausted.
I feel like I have to do everything.
I have Easter baskets to take care of.
I have Easter meals to prepare.
I have Easter clothing to plan.
Then I need to send out baptism invites, take care of the paperwork & booking the priest and chapel. We're not planning on a big get-together afterwards so we are going to bring some pastries and coffee for the after service gathering.
Then I have Father's Day, DD's birthday and potential trip to the midwest to plan.
All this while juggling the every day.
I know I can do it but I'm just so tired.
I have to find time to do everything while the kids are asleep. I'm constantly feeling as if I'm squeezing things in between the daily dos. It can get exhausting. 

Friday, April 06, 2012

Nurse Mommy on call

My son had an 102 fever all day Tuesday. It started Monday night. That night was brutal. Between his fever and my daughter constantly waking up asking for me, I was up all night. I didn't sleep or at least it didn't feel as if I did.
The next day, DS remained at a constant 102 all day and demanded to be held and nursed constantly.
I forgot how hot a 15 lb baby could feel against your skin. I was lugging around my own portable space heater.
I gave him a bath to relax and settle him and massaged him with Eucalpytus. By Wednesday morning, he was much better. He had some massive nose rockets but DH is the master of extracting those meteorites.
Throughout Tuesday, I kept a cool head until around 6pm when nighttime parenting began. That's when the lack of sleep and high pitched cries of discomfort hit me.
That's when my brain went into, should I review the symptoms again and see what's up? For a brief spell I contemplated the fever being more than a symptom of a cold.
The spell only lasted a brief moment but all moms do that. All moms at some point go, is it more than what I think it is?
I don't think dads do that. At least not the dads I know. My husband looked at DS and said, "He has a fever. Ok." and walked away.
In our family our general rule about fevers is simple, if it's a standard fever, don't panic. Assess other symptoms and rule out illnesses. If the fever is high (104+) and doesn't dissipate, then contact the doctor.
We don't panic about a fever. We take it as a sign our body is fighting something and needs fluids and rest to allow it to fight the fight.
We have also been blessed and are thankful.
The hardest thing about my kids and illness is at this young age, especially, they can't tell you what's going on and no matter what you tell them, they are still very young and do not quiet understand what's going on.
All DS knew was that he was achy and hurt and hot. When he woke up, he'd wake up with a high pitch wail that said, "What is going on?!"
I will say on Wednesday when he woke up with a big grin, it made the sleepless nights and trying day worth it. He grabbed my hair and pulled me close to him to kiss me and all was right with the world.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

My daughter's theory on tree leaves

All last year, we spoke about how in the Fall the leaves turn colors and fall to the ground. We spoke about how then during the winter the trees are bare and only have branches.
Now that it is spring, we have been talking about how the leaves sprout from the tree branches.
She's not buying it.
She says this is how the leaves get onto the branches (aka sticks).
The bumble bees drink nectar from the flowers that grow in the spring. Their feet get sticky and they use their feet to glue the leaves back onto the tree sticks.
It's a good hypothesis for a 3.5 year old.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Maybe we should raise a chicken

Memory that just popped into my head:

DH's response to #2 gestating in my womb:

He's making breakfast and stops and goes silent.

pg: Are you ok?
DH: Yes, I think. I just realized we are going to go through a lot of cartons of eggs. We go through 3 cartons a week already.
pg: Ok.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

My kid likes Darth Vader.

We gave our daughter a taste of Star Wars yesterday.
We put on a segment from The Empire Strikes Back.
She got immediately quiet.
I started to explain the characters to her starting with her favorite, robots, of course.
Then the music we all know started. dun du duuuuuuun duuuuuuun dun dun nun duuuuuuuun dun dun dun dun duuuuuuun duuun dun dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuun
Enter Darth Vader.
pg: That's Darth Vader. He's...
DD: Mommy, be quiet.

DH could not contain his laughter.
What should I expect from a Star Trek, robot, space loving preschooler.
I have a geekling in my hands.

Monday, April 02, 2012

I need an eyePhone

It's been awhile again and I'll explain it more later this week.
For now, I want to talk about fun stuff.
DD is at a point where she knows that her brother is fascinated with her.
She also knows that although he can't really play with her like she wants she knows that she has an ability to calm him down and entertain him.
Take this morning, I was trying to fit in a pump before work and he started to stir from his am quiet time (he likes looking out the window when he wakes up). DD lay in bed with him and kept him company and talked to him. He loved it.
It's really fascinating to see them interact.
I wish I had more time to interact with him as much as I did with DD when she was so young. I know that's the wish probably of most moms with more than one child.
It's a shame too. With number one, you are so bogged down in the first time experience that the second time around, you look forward to savoring it all. However, you can't stop to absorb it because you are juggling children of different ages, needs and desires.
Still, we all try hard to enjoy the time and not sweat the small stuff. I just wish they'd invent a implantable camera already. I'm missing out on some great photos and videos.