Saturday, July 31, 2010

Bright Future

When I see my cousin, I see a person I hope my child aspires to be and I see hope for the future of our country.
She's got hopes and dreams and she is doing something to achieve them. She's level headed and intelligent.
Why do I bring this up? Because I still remember this girl as a 4 year old standing on a folding chair as I dressed her up in clothes.
She's now heading to graduate school.
Where does the time go?

Friday, July 30, 2010

My daughter has the Force or I'm just losing it.

The day that TG had contact with several of her friends, she had a severe meltdown and demanded to go to her bedroom.
She refused to play with anyone. She hung out for a few minutes but completely melted down.
I had to kick folks out.
I felt bad but in retrospect I relieved.
DH thinks this is merely coincidence but I think TG somehow knew something wasn't kosher and just didn't want to be a part of it.
I'd like to think this as to me that means she has a good inner judge. Whether it's learned or innate is to be seen but maybe just maybe she knew something wasn't right and didn't want to get involved.
Anyway, we have one more day before our doc says we can confirm that she doesn't have the virus.
Keeping my fingers crossed.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Get your petri dish away from ours, please

We've been on a 10 day long wait and see. The tenth day will hit this weekend.
3 of my daughter's closest buddies contracted Coxsackie Virus, aka Hand, Foot, Anus and Mouth Virus.
I noticed something was up with one of her friends on Tuesday but the parent didn't seem phased. On Wednesday, there was another playdate. There was chatter of the virus from one of the parents and I reminded my husband to make sure TG did not share anything and afterwards must have her hands and face washed.
On Friday I received a voice message from one of her friends that her son and their other friend was sick and that she confirmed it was the wonderful virus. I felt awful for her. The message was one of those messages as a parent you hate to leave and as a recipient I knew that I wasn't the first in a list of playmates she had to call.
I think as a parent, we know that we all will have to do that at some point so I completely sympathized with her.
The good thing for her though was that since the two boys both contracted the same virus, they could happily play with each other if not in between meltdowns because of the rash and fever.
Our doc immediately said we need to wait the 2-10 day incubation period to ensure that TG did not have the virus. In the meantime, 14 days without her playmates. 2 of her playmate's doc's confirmed our peds recommendation.
TG and I, yes both of us, immediately sanitized her toys and play area and cleaned up any stuffies that were shared during their Tuesday playdate.
I've been keeping TG busy with trips and arts and crafts but DH is really antsy and wants her to start playing with her friends again.
Still my husband is taking all preventative measures, especially after he heard from one of the father's that his son's mouth was filled with canker-like sores and he's just a hot mess.
Still, one parent keeps texting asking when our children can play.
I appreciate that parents like my child and want our children to play. I think playtime is very important.
But I also appreciate it when folks, like my son's playmate call me and tell me of suspected illness. It's a hard call but we're parents and we need to stick together. There is a reason that illnesses cycle back. Yes, this illness isn't as serious as other illnesses but precautions are precautions.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Words to Live By

"And I tell you, ask and you will receive;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives;
and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." - Luke 11:9-10

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

B is for Blanket

My daughter has found the comforts of a blanket but only for a brief period.
Until she was 22-23 months old, my child disliked to be covered.
She stayed swaddled for maybe 3-4 months after which time we would find different appendages unwrapped.
I figure it was because she was a summer baby. For the first six months of her life, she practically lived in kimono tops and a diaper. Most moms were bundling up their precious packages. Mine was living large in a white kimono top, diaper and occasional swaddle.
It never bothered me as I figured is was one less thing for me to be neurotic about. I'm sure I'd be up instead of trying to capture some sleep worrying whether or not the blanket would cover her face and smother her.
As she grew older I realized she was like her dad. My husband is a furnace when he sleeps. Before child, many a nights you could find my husband shirtless (why are men shirtless and women topless?) turning beet red from heat while I was wrapped like a sausage in my blanket.
Sharing a family bed, I realized my blanket was being replaced by two human blankets.
Well, nearly two years later and I'm getting my blanket back. Of course the environment is suffering for it but I'm going to savor this for a bit.
My daughter likes to have a blanket on her when she sleeps with the air conditioner on. For about 2.5 hours she'll sleep all cozy and sausage like but just before she wakes up for a back rub, diaper change or nursing session, she slowly wiggles her way out of her sausage casing and even pulls her shirt up like her father does, exposing her tummy.
I have no idea what that's about but I figure her it has to be hereditary.
I have no idea how long this will go on but I'm savoring being able to share a blanket with TG. Sure, it's still a small one in comparison but there is something about a blanket enveloping you as you enter slumber. It's like a giant hug.

Monday, July 26, 2010

On the road to Jericho...

* S: (n) compassion, compassionateness (a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering)
* S: (n) compassion, pity (the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it)

I have a confession to make. My husband is more compassionate than I ever will be. He really is. I know folks who know us may think differently. My husband is a matter of fact guy. He tells it like he sees it and that can be abrasive at times but it's also refreshing. He will never tell you something that he doesn't feel is true. For that, his honesty is extremely refreshing especially when you come from an ethnicity that prides itself in not saying it like it is to avoid disgracing your family. (see #1 Keqi)
Anyway, my husband is just one of the folks who just tries to help out folks that he thinks truly needs help. Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm cold and heartless but I do know that I probably would stop and ponder, "What would happen to me if I stopped?" before venturing out to help like the Samaritan.
I know this is something I need to work out. It's probably one of the harder things for me to tackle. Now at this point I'm going to get a few of my friends emailing me or calling me. "PG, you are generally the first to respond whenever someone is hurt around you. You aren't afraid to bandage their wounds and calm them down." "PG, you were the first to start an annual collection for a nutrition program for NYC kids." "PG, you are the first to take in strays to the point you had a mini zoo in your apartment." "PG, on Thanksgiving you wake up early to make dinner, forego the family lunch and go to volunteer at the Seniors Thanksgiving shindig and then rush back to serve a meal to the family."
There is compassion where you stick yourself out, heart and soul, and their is compassion where you keep your heart under your sleeve. DH's heart is out for the world to see. My heart is clothed away behind a cheesecloth for fear of pain.
I know part of it is my preference for being insular. I am honest and tell the truth but I keep my heart at a distance. I've always been this way. There is probably only a handful of people I will allow my heart to be open for completely. I'm sure there is some deep seeded psychological reason for this but it's currently suppressed.
I'll go far to help but just don't ask me my name or ask me to evangelize. DH, he'll happily give his name and even invite folks to our home and tell the world about something he is compassionate about.
Years ago, maybe eons ago, my husband and I got into a fight about something silly and he mentioned how he was chased by a pack of homeless men because he inquired about their dog. DH: I've been busy this morning. PG: Being foolish is what you've been. This is the compassion I'm talking about. Seeing if the missing dog we read about is in our neighborhood is one thing. Seeing if the missing dog is the dog the strange weird homeless guy who lives under the highway has by yourself at the crack of dawn is another.
Now, I know this example is probably a bad one but DH didn't even give it a thought that maybe there was a better way to show compassion. He just went with his heart. I need to be more like that.
My husband actually said to me that he knew I was someone special to him when I started letting him into my world. I need to share my world more.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Did Ma Ingalls have to deal with energetic kids at church?

Reading the copious "I'll nevers' as a parent from Mommyland and Pregnant Chicken had me rolling.
I'm new to the mommy world so I haven't experienced some of the listed items yet but I'm sure it will happen some day.
The one that had me off my seat though was the one about church. The writer mentioned that she cannot remember a lick of any sermon since her children were born.
Since our child was born, we have moved away from ushering and even eucharistic ministry. We rarely have time to volunteer and we can barely continue lectoring. Oh and forget about the weekly meditations I used to do on the readings. I'm lucky to be able to read it the night before, do minimal research on the passages and practice my pronounciations.
Let's start with getting there on time. I'll be honest, we don't get to church on time anymore. Ok, we do when one of us has to read. Even then, the other one is late. I'm not embarrassed by this and in fact have come to the conclusion this is for the bettermint of the community and for myself.
The sad truth is you cannot expect a 2 year old to sit through an hour long service without having to expel some energy. When TG was an infant, she would sit in her Ergo and chill for the entire service. DH would strap her on his back and usher without issues. Then they become babies and discover they have these appendages that can grab things and attempt to move. Even then it's ok. You grab a pew in the back, throw a blanket or two on the floor and pew and let them sort of snake themselves here and there.
Then they start making noises. All of a sudden their voice and the particular way it resonates in a church is astounding. Our child found it particularly thrilling to 'comment' during the sermon.
Participation in the mass only continues as they get older. All of a sudden, our child applauded whenever the music stopped. Ok, this one was cute.
Personally the 1 year was fine. It was when she turned 1 when I started completely losing concentration on anything that was said during the service. See at 1, she started walking which meant we moved to the quiet room. I have no idea why they call it the quiet room because it's nothing but quiet and in our particular instance, it actually amplified the noises from the tots.
If it was just me and TG, I would start mass in the pew and when the energy started boiling over like a soda bottle ready to blow, I'd quietly move us to the quiet room and let her practicing walking and climbing the steps to the choir loft.
Well, while in the quiet room, you may hear the entire service but there is no way you are concentrating on it or for that matter watching it.
Because of the movement and added attention I need to pay, I found it easier for us to show up a little later to the service. Actually, I read somewhere that most parents do this as well. It's not ideal but no one can expect a young toddler to sit for 60 minutes in church without getting antsy.
Now, we are at the age of two where climbing up stairs isn't enough.
Now, I bring breakfast, markers, paper, stickers, water, a stuffed animal, a toy car, an airplane, anything quiet that she can play with.
DH and I take shifts. If one of us isn't assisting with the service, we take turns watching TG while the other tries to concentrate on the service.
I was actually thinking about how long it would take before we could all sit at the pew again for the entire service.
I'm guessing not anytime soon but I am trying to remind TG that church is quiet time but rationalizing with a two year old can be futile.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Kids Shoes

I think I've been had.
I thought that my child could have one pair of sandals for the summer. Apparently, her feet think differently.
My daughter's poor big toe was hitting her pink sandals to the point of almost curling. That's when I realized, ok, I can't hold out.
I'm into quality. Shoes are super important to me for the tot as I feel quality shoes equal good balance and good development.
But I'm also cheap and the idea of buying $50+ shoes that will only last 2-3 months tops drives me bonkers.
It also drives me nuts that you can't really buy shoes in advance at this age because you really don't know why size their feet will be.
The topper though is that every shoe company has their own sizing chart. Are you kidding me? They really don't make it easy for a parent to buy shoes.
Well, I measure my kid's feet at home with this foot chart doodad I got from one of the brands we buy. Then I convert it to inches or centimeters and use that as a guide.
Still I also get the foot measured at a store for good measure.
Then I hunt like a crazy one for sales and deals.
I do this usually before the start of the new season so that TG has the right feet apparel for the season.
Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of time for her second pair of sandals.
So I resigned myself to the knowledge we'd hit a SR and just pick up a pair for the rest of the summer.
I have this thing about SR. I don't like their shoes. I don't know why. Maybe it's the style. Maybe it's the lack of color. Maybe it's just a psychological thing. I will however, use them as a end of season back up. They are cheap enough and they are easily accessible.
So we went to SR for a quick run in and out to get a pair of end of summer sandals for TG. Well, we get there, they measure her foot. I ask them to measure both as they grow at different lengths and the lady kept trying to tell me to calm down and that she will do both. Now, I must have sounded rushed as I was so I apologized and let her do her thing.
DH: I think this one is an eight.
Saleslady: No, you look on the other side. She's a 7.
DH: But she is a 7 now.
Saleslady: Different shoes have different sizes.
DH: Oh, Ok.
Saleslady: Buy her a 7.5.
Now, I will be honest. I measured my child's foot the week before and I calculated in my head she should be an 8 but I was in such a haze and rush I chalked it up to my math being wrong so I didn't question it.
Well, my kid maybe the only kid that hates shoe shopping. It's not that she dislikes it but she really doesn't like to try on shoes.
We finally picked a pair she seemed to like it and I asked DH to check to make sure the toes felt good. We brought them to the register and we paid $38.00 for them. Usually we get a cheaper cost pair at SR but we were in a rush so we paid and left.
Now I'm having remorse over the shoes. I really think she's an 8. I had her try the shoes on again and her toes only have maybe a quarter inch room from the tip.
DH at first thought I was being neurotic. I think he still thinks I am as he woke up at 3am and found me at the front door with a measuring tape and 3 pairs of TG's shoes. Now he says he is going to see if he can exchange them.
I feel like we were had because that measurement was clearly off and I feel like she told us to buy a size that just fit her now so that we could come back sooner to buy another pair. I don't know why I feel this way instead of her just making an honest mistake but it's just a gut feeling I've been having for a few days. It may very well be my feelings about SR to begin with so I tried to keep quiet about it.
Because she's sans shoes now, except for rain boots and water shoes, she's wearing these hand me down Land's End sandals that are a little too big for her but the straps keep them nice and snug. I honestly don't know what size the LE sandals are but she walks fine with them and I prefer the extra room so they may actually fit. Worst comes to worse, she's wearing those bad boys until September.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Maybe I am antisocial.

I've given up today.
Between a dentist's appointment and a visit to see great grand aunts and uncles, her naps were out of whack. I had hoped that we'd head home and have dinner at 5pm and bed at 6pm.
Of course, one of her friends has a major meltdown in front of our building screaming for her. So I relent and allow them to come up to visit.
Then another friend wakes up and wants to come over.
She was a hot mess and throughout their visit, she just kept asking to go to bed or to eat because she was both, hungry and tired.
She begs for a piece of cheese even though she's had her share but because she's starving and it's more nutritious than giving her a cracker, I give it to her.
Then she starts bellowing bed.
I finally had to kick everyone out.
I hope the parents understood.
But now I just completely gave up because it's 8:33pm and she's completely exhausted and can't settle.
Parents know what I'm talking about. We're in the bedroom and she's just wired. Usually I try to be patient and tell her that she can play quietly but I don't have it in me now. Every ten minutes she wants a drink of water or pasta. I fed her some pasta (in the bedroom a big no no but I just don't have the strength today to get her to sit and have dinner in the dining room while she's completely tired.). I brought a glass of water into the bedroom for her.
I even told her she can brush her teeth in bed without toothpaste tonight.
I have no energy to put her in her pjs.
Our elderly dog is sticking to me like glue because the thunderstorms are frightening her. I'm pushing our dog off the bed, calming our dog down while trying to keep our daughter in it.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

"Let me do it"

It rings clear as day. My daughter is two and her favorite phrase is, "Let me do it." You'd think hearing these words from your child would be thrilling and exciting. Not at this stage. At this stage it's a test of an adult's patience. See, you can't just do it. You have to let them do it and their motor skills may not be quite there yet. But you need to let them try. So you sit there and watch trying to allow them the time to learn and accomplish it because that smile on their face when they do it is remarkable.
An hour and half later, you're still sitting in the foyer as your child has gotten one shoe on but is struggling with the other. You can't get up because she says, "No! Sit." So you watch and begin counting the dust bunnies under your shoe rack that have multiples exponentially since you sat down.
But gosh darnit, that smile is so worth it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Mommy aka the heavy

It drives me nuts that I have to ostensibly be the bad guy. DH doesn't realize his words reach our toddler. "It's not even 7! Why are you cutting our fun time?"
"I really don't like you saying these things even in jest in front of TG. It's not 7 but you didn't give her a nap today so she's overtired and overtired..." "I don't want to hear it."
I don't know how many times I have to tell him that an overtired child equals a brutal night for me. If he wants me to spend more time with him, he's got to help me. If not, then he can't expect our child to sleep through the night soundly being overtired.
I don't understand why he doesn't understand this.
I also hate the "Do you want mommy to do it?" That's such a loaded question. I don't like clipping her nails. I don't like taking her temperature. I don't like brushing her teeth. I do do them though because they need to be done. That's part of being a parent.
I know I'm just being a grumble bunny. He does do a lot but I really hate being characterized as the parent who cuts fun time.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Morning breath

So my kid wakes up in the morning and if we are still in bed, she goes out, finds mints (my husband leaves them everywhere) and brings them to us in bed.
I think she's trying to tell us something.

Oh and for those who are following along:
1-3p nap
7p bedtime
5:30a wake up again

Monday, July 19, 2010

For the love of Pete, Bedtime is not a social club

So her 5:30am wake up which by the way was way to happy that I couldn't be mad. She was so freaking well rested, she woke up with a grin from ear to ear and started the day singing, literally.
Anyway, the 5:30am wake up led to a 11:30am nap which stretched itself out to.........
wait for it..... 3 freaking pm.
Ok, I have to admit, even though I was tired, my husband and I took the 3.5 hours of no child time and partied it up. We didn't do any chores. We didn't talk about chores. We didn't talk about the baby.
Watched a cheesy commercial edited movie on tv and then promptly took a nap. While watching television we gorged ourselves on fresh nectarines, plums, grapes and watermelon. I felt like some gluttonous Roman citizen during the days of Cesar.
I am not afraid to shout out that was the best freaking date I've had in years with DH.
That rocked like nothing else.
Sure, I could have woken her up but we so needed the break.
Of course nightfall was when we paid the price for our gluttony.
At first I thought it was a good sign. At 7pm, TG asked to go to bed. Sure. I'm not going to say no.
From 7-10p my child had a freaking social network going on in bed between her stuffies and herself. Books were read. Stuffy's diapers were changed. Her diaper was changed three times as per request. At one point I think I passed out. Anywho, she finally passed out at 10 but I have only myself to blame.
Postscript: Still with the late night nap the child finds a way to hit her magic sleep. She slept from 10p-9a. It was a bumpy night as with any night when she doesn't go to bed at 7 but she still had a good chunk of sleep.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Relax and the child sleeps well

I don't know if it was my child picking up on my cues or if it was my picking up of my daughter's cues but my daughter slept from 8pm-5:45am straight through with one 5 minute wake up. The best part was the night's sleep was a very restful peaceful sleep.
Hallelujah Lord!
I know. I know.
Tonight will be a bear. Any parent of a toddler will tell you consecutive nights of this are about as common as winning the lottery.
Still, it was what I needed to pump up my parenting mojo. Well that and a restful night's sleep for myself and DH as well.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Oh who are we kidding?

Today I realized that I was getting desperate and trying to fit my child into a mold that the doctors, all well meaning, try to fit all kids her age in.
Well, her parents just don't fit that mold.
Yes, it's really hard on us when her naptime routine is out of whack as it has been but we're also attuned to her for the most part. I think the attachment parenting practice has been paying off and we know that our kid just doesn't sleep very well when she doesn't listen to her body.
Now I'm not saying we are going to let her have the run of the show, although in the depths of it it can feel that way.
I'm saying I need to stop thinking about this regiment and listen to my daughter again.
It just seemed like the panacea because her natural routine fit what the doctors described.
Maybe I'm just in the thick of it and I'm exhausted.
Maybe I'll look back on this and chuckle. Hey, the doc was right.
Either case, I'm going to follow my instincts again and listen to my kid's cues. I know it's going to be tough at times but when I follow her cues she does receive her needed 12+ hours of sleep. When I follow this guideline from the doc, she's getting 9+.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Day Three of Operation take back Sleeptime

Today we hit a setback.
First she didn't get back home for her afternoon nap until 1:30 leading to a missed window and barely any naptime. She did have quiettime though and she did stay in the bedroom.
Nighttime though so far doesn't look good.
First, because of family business we were detained and didn't make it home until 8:18pm. Because she didn't get home until 1:30p, she missed her lunch so we couldn't skip dinner.
So as I type this, my husband is in the bedroom feeding our daughter some ground turkey tomato sauce in the hopes it will fill her belly so she won't be starving and tired.
Alot of times I feel like my husband's view on sleeping affects how he parents sleeptime. As a child he felt like he missed out on things and thus never slept. To this day, he really doesn't sleep. He crashes hard and usually in inopportune times .
Anyway, I think since he doesn't like to nap and sleep, he really finds it hard to put the effort to make sleeptime a good productive time.
I know it works out because we are opposites and we balance each other out but it's really tough for me to feel like I hold the bag.
It's sort of how I feel about the whole pottying business.
I keep telling myself that we use our strong suits to help raise a strong, independent , confident child. He's great with physical playing and I'm good with sleeping, arts and crafts and who knows maybe pottying.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Day Two of Operation Take Back Sleeptime

Today we continued our shift back to routine for TG. The biggest hurdle to tackle is the sleeping routine. It has been so topsy turvy since the beginning of the summer. I knew partly it was my fault for not being stern about adhering to it. I was falling into the notion that I was being to strict but now even the doc is telling us that we should have never strayed and we need to get back to it.
So today DH's goal with quiettime or naptime from 1-3pm. Naptime didn't happen but she had quiettime if you count her singing to her dad for 2 hours straight.
Anyway, the saving grace was we were watching her friend in the late afternoon so when I came home she didn't come running towards me and asking to take a nap. That's always brutal for me. I freaking love naps and her I am denying my child a nap.
Anyway, TG asked to go to bed right after dinner which was at 6pm. By 7pm we were in the bedroom again as per TG's request. Guess my doc was right, my kids likes her routine.
She nursed and fell asleep around 7:15 and didn't wake up again until 9:30 but she did a full wake up and stayed in the bedroom in the dark until finally passing out again at 11pm which means she considered the first session her nap.
We can't cut her pm nap out. She needs it. I need it.
She had a fitful night of it too. From 11 to 11:45p she kept screaming and whining in her sleep. I rubbed her back until she finally fell into a peaceful slumber at 11:45pm. By that time, I was exhausted.
I got out of bed, made dinner for my husband and myself (yes, I've been trying to have dinner with him again which means I have to cook at odd hours) and we ate and watched a 30 minute program. Actually, DH passed out 20 minutes into the program.
I cuddled on the floor next to him and then got up around 1am and went to the bedroom.
TG woke up at 9:30am.
I hope tomorrow is better.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Getting back to our routine

So the doc said that we need to get back to our sleep routine from her 1st year. During her 1st year we had two naps and bedtime at 7:30pm. She wants us to have one nap and bedtime at 7:30pm.
She thinks this is what TG's body needs and because she hasn't been having it, she's been all kinds of grumpy
Doc: I don't care if she skips dinner and just nurses for dinner. She needs to get back to her old routine. You guys were doing well with it and she seems to be happier this way. Don't get lax and think she's older now. She still needs her routine and you may have to do the brunt of this. She seems to think Daddy equals playtime.
So today I begin again.
She had a nap from 2-3pm today.
She asked for bed at 7pm.
I brought her in and told her that it's nighttime now and that means we go to bed and stay in the bedroom.
I locked the door, turned off the lights, put on her lullaby cd and we nursed in bed.
Then at 7:30pm, DH accidenttally calls my cell and startles TG up. I tell her she can stay up if she isn't tired but she must play quietly in the bedroom and that Mommy would be napping in bed. Thank you Martha Sears. I can hear her climbing onto the vanity and brushing her hair. I could hear her shuffling through her books in the dark. Finally at 8:30pm, she crawled into her bed and said she was tired and asked for milk.
I nursed her and by 8:45pm she was out. I delatched her and went outside.
At 9:45pm she woke up but she soothed herself back to sleep.
At 10:45pm she woke up and came outside. I stopped her in the hallway and without a word carried her back to bed and nursed her back to bed. She was out within 10 minutes but refused to delatch. I finally was able to flip her over, delatch and rub her back until she settled into slumber.
She woke up again at 12:45am (what can I say, my kid is punctual) but screaming this time. I came in and rubbed her back and nursed her back to bed again.
Then I passed out.
I think she woke up twice during the night but some back rubs and nursing got her back to slumber within minutes.
She woke up at 8:45am happy as a clam and energized.
The big test now is the daytime nap which is on DH's shift.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Well I think I'm ready at least

Around 18 months, I introduced TG to the potty. I didn't expect much. I purchased it and told her what it was for in the hopes that she would sit in it and imitate Mommy while I was indisposed. See, my child, like most, seems to have a potty radar. She knew when I had to go and at that very moment, would climb all over me and refuse to let me go in peace.
The potty was wonderful. She's sit on the potty with a potty book and pretend to read it while I was in the potty. No more sitting in the potty with a squirmy child on my lap.
Occasionally we even had a morning pee in the potty. I was so proud.
Flashfoward and the only thing my child will put in the potty now is her stuffed animal. She refuses to sit on the potty now.
This wouldn't be an issue but she is showing more and more signs she's ready to try sitting on the potty for real.
She tells me when she has gone.
She tells me when she has to go occasionally.
She fights me when I try to put a fresh diaper on her.
So I think it's time.
I have a problem though. I was planning to go the three day sequestered in the house sans diaper route. DH thinks that is disgusting and wants an alternative. Actually DH said that TG isn't ready. "Before you think of doing anything, don't you think she should at least poop once in the potty before we go sans diaper?" Darling, it's not like kids one day say, "Hey, why the heck am I pooping in this absorbent diaper? I wish there was a receptacle of some sort where I can freely poop." I think you just have to go sans diaper and explain to the tot where we go to pee and poop. They'll be accidents but I bet a kid would probably prefer to sit in a potty than soil themselves. With diapers, they just don't get that sense of soiled.
Anyway, I think DH probably just isn't ready.
DH: I think when we do it we just carry the potty everywhere we go and just go for it.
Hence my new toddler gear list. So now I'm off to research and buy a portable potty, portable potty bags, training underpants (apparently they say at least 6-9 pairs) and a bottle of wine for Mommy and Daddy.
I wonder if I'm being too logical and kids don't think that way. In my mind I think TG will soil herself, not like it, I'll tell her the next time she has to pee to let me know and hopefully she'll catch on.
I know DH isn't ready so I'm just doing the preparations but I'm fairly certain we are just about ready.
Wonderful, not even a week old am and we've got sleep issues, independence testing and potty training on our learn and grow list.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Checking up on Daddy and Mommy before bed

In some shape or form my child needs on average 12-13 hours of sleep. This isn't just the norm you find in books but her actual needs. She will find a way to obtain this but not always at the times we'd like.
Her latest thing which has now become a major trend is a a late afternoon 2-3 hour nap which is causing this Mommy to be extra extra tired.
Right now her body wants a downtime session (30 mins) in the late morning, a 2-3 hour nap in the late afternoon and 10 hours of sleep at night.
I think the change has to do with the fact that DH returns home late at night and she now wants to spend time with him before she goes to bed.
She is sleepy and you can tell but she'll repeatedly say, "Daddy? Check, Daddy. Be right back. Don't move."
I suppose I can understand. She wants to be connected with her support system before she goes to bed. It's very hard to keep up with this though.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The toddler workout

It really as if a switch has been pulled.
TG is now displaying questioning and independence at full speed.
I know I've mentioned it before.
Don't get me wrong, it's not unbearable. I understand it. I know it's normal. I just didn't know it would happen like that.
One day she's the amiable pleasing toddler. The next day she's all about how she wants to do something.
I keep thinking about how all the books say this is this the time to be firm, know the boundaries and use your adult skills to make them think they are doing what they want to do.
When you have a freaking energy it does work.
Right now, I'm trying to make sure I have enough energy to keep up with the tot.
Holy cow, I thought taking care of an infant was hard. Toddlerhood is way harder. Now I understand when folks told me, "Oh, you can leave her on the mat and go pee. She's not going anywhere." Yes, back then when she was a freaking lump, she could only go so far. Now I turn and she's climbing chairs and using gates and other items as step stools.
Parenting a toddler makes a high intensity cardio workout seem like a warm up.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Lucky Poop

So I cleaned another's kid's heiny for the first time today.
Eh. You do what you gotta do.
It was a poop one too.
If only being surrounded by poop was lucky or maybe it is.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Two Toddler Girls

My child has decided that she would prefer to be only in a diaper in the house.
I suppose this is a product of having her in kimono tops and diapers in the summer the first year she was born and cotton undershirts and a diaper the second summer of her life.
She will pitch a fit if I try to put a shirt on her when we are at home.
We've hit the two year independence mark and it's showing it's head. She used to be so amenable about teeth brushing, clothes wearing, face washing. Now she says no and tries to do them herself. With teeth brushing, hand and face washing, I tell her that she can do the beginning but Mommy needs to finish. This used to be met with agreement. Now an obstinante, "No!" follows my request.
I keep reading my dog eared cracked binding toddler attachment parenting and discipline book as if it's a reassurance that this is all normal.
I keep telling myself that this isn't bad. Some parents have children who will hold their breath, pass out or do something else like hit or bite. Some parents start seeing this at 18 months! One friend has to put her kid in a headlock to brush his teeth. These are all normal and that I should just be glad my kid isn't kicking me.
Today we had a playdate. DH and his friend have finals so I watched their kids while they went to study. It was actually something I was looking forward to. I find I truly enjoying spending time with multiple kids and I like watching them learn and helping them learn and explore.
I knew they were too young for anything too structured so it was mainly alot of free play, dancing, Simon Says, painting, pretend cooking, 1 story book, 2 downtimes (no naps. apparently being with another toddler all day leads to alot of excitement.), 1 poop diaper, 4 wet diaper changes, rice, meatloaf, thai chicken noodles, strawberries, a plum, a handful of bunny crackers and purely o's.
And although cooking was a bit rough with two toddlers underfoot, two girl toddlers seem to want to help and spent alot of time passing me items from the refrigerator. I know I shouldn't keep it open but boy howdy it helped keep them occupied and they did help by handing me stuff. It's educational, right? They learned what tomatoes, lettuce and other fruits were.
The girls seemed to really enjoy laying in bed together with their dolls too. There wasn't any protesting.
What surprised me was how they both instinctively went to the vanity, climbed onto the chair and started combing each other's hair. It was adorable. Freaking adorable, I tell you.
I'm so used to boys playing with TG. When they play together, there is alot of running around, jumping, climbing and general I do one thing, you do something else. With her gal pal, alot of the time was spent doing things together. It really helped.
Ah, but back to the twos. Her friend is not two yet and is still at that 18-24 month stage where all toddlers want to be is helpful as that is a way of showing their grasped knowledge and understanding.
I'm told TG will go back to this helpfulness stage close to her third birthday. Some say I may be lucky and get it around 2.5. For now, I need to take in the preview of the teenage fight for independence.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Can a day go by where I don't talk about poop?

My kid pooped in the bathtub.
This is the second time but first time for me.
She got up and moved to the back of the tub and said, "Ooh! Get out and pointed to the poop in the water."
After the poop on my foot, this is nothing.
Her bath toys on the other hand are currently going through the Silkwood treatment in the dishwasher.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Stage Two

Today my daughter officially moves out of the ages in months group.
All I can remember about this day is how 'No' was the most used word in her vocubulary.
Welcome to the twos.
Highlights include:
1. Chocolate Chip Pancakes for Breakfast.
Thought it would be a treat.
I even used a cookie cutter to cut out hearts.
She ate the scraps on my plate instead and picked out the chocolate chips and threw them on her plate and gave them to me.
Go figure.
2. Her excitement at her renovated kitchen.
3. Her excitement at receiving a helium balloon.
4. Her excitement at receiving a handy dandy notebook.
5. Both of us making her birthday cake.
6. Her refusing to eat her birthday cake.
7. Her birthday dance party. She wanted to dance when her Daddy came home and didn't stop for 30 minutes! She even dj'd.
8. DH asking me after two years what labor was like.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010


A really bad neti prompted by a bloody nose = bad sinus infection. I could barely keep my eyes open last night. The pressure is bad.
This is what I get for being scared but too chicken poop to go to the doctor.
I need to go to the doctor.
I wish they had a nosefrida for adults. I could so use a drainage right now.

Monday, July 05, 2010

Pigglies are Wiggly

I love toddler feet. Who wouldn't love to have their piggies free and enjoying the summer breeze? If I was two and sitting in a stroller or car seat, I would whip off my shoes and socks in a heartbeat.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Bathtub = Swimming Pool to a NYC kid

I have been taking advantage of TG's daily swim requests. While she swims in the bathtub I sit by the sink and fold laundry or do some other chore. I guess she gets her love of water from me. Many happy memories are floating in this noggin of mine where my brother and I played until we were beyond pruney in the bathtub. Now if I can somehow figure out a way to prepare meals while being within arms reach of her. Kramer had the right idea.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Duck and Moose

For Canada Day TG is dressed in her Canada shirt. It's essentially a line of Canadian animals marching behind a Canadian flag. I'm pretty sure she has no idea what is on the shirt except for a duck and a leaf. I'm fairly certain no one she will meet will get the reference.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Ice Cream Good. Ice Cream Breakfast Bad.

I love ice cream. Actually I heart dark chocolate ice cream. It goes so well with summer. Obviously I'm on some weird happy glow from ingesting a dark chocolate ice cream bar. I will say one thing though. Do not and I emphasize do not eat ice cream for breakfast if you are over thirty. You will pay dearly around 11am.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

I'd probably stay in the bath all day if I could too, TG

It is so hot and humid in the city my daughter has been asking for baths twice daily.
She'll even request a 'booty wash' (sometimes when a poop is so big, wipes just won't cut it).
It's got me thinking it time again to overhaul the bath toys.
I'm a big stickler about replacing the toys often. I think the bathroom is a breeding ground for mold and mildew especially in our apartment so I replace them often.
I also run them through the dishwasher as well.
She's taken to washing her toy walrus who she has named, aptly, Walter. I asked her what was the walrus' name and she said something that sounded like Walter. So now he's officially Walter.
She also likes to keep a dry wash cloth on the ledge so she can wipe the eyes of her tugboat, rubber duckies and Walter.
It's making me think I may have to get her a bath tub doll to wash.
Of course this means I have to find a PVC, phthalate-free type of doll for her baths. I think I found one. It has vinyl but I'm hoping if I air it out and only use it in the bath it won't be so bad. It's PVC and phthalate free as per several sites so we'll see.