Monday, March 19, 2012
I know there are studies that show that men and women react differently to the cries of a baby.
I know infant cries are like daggers to a women's heart.
I know that men will awake to an alarm moreso than the cries of an infant.
That doesn't console me though.
I don't recall my husband's reactions with DD are the same as DS's when it comes to crying.
It seems as if as soon as he cries and I'm around and it's nighttime, he comes to me to tell me that the kid is crying. We don't live in a mansion. I can hear him. I know he's crying. I've got my hands busy with your daughter who woke up crying too. I'm not some Indian goddess with multiple arms and breasts.
I asked him the other day if he can settle him down while I finish up with DD. When I get to DS, he's whimpering and flailing on DH's chest. "See. This is the best I can do to quiet him."
DS is arched back looking up at me with squinted wet eyes and I swear he's crying out, "Maaaaaaaaa!"
I pick him up and faithfully follow Dr. Karp's shushing technique while rubbing his back. He quiets down and I ask him if he startled himself awake again and needs help settling down. He then lets out a bowel deep burp that causes DH to crack up.
Don't get me wrong. DH is awesome with DS but at night he becomes this:
I notice it with the diaper changes too. I calmly talk to DS while changing his diaper even when he's upset. He seem to calm immediately. DH will just sit there in silence and change his diaper while DS is wailing the wails of a child who has woken up in the dark, wet and disoriented.
I remember back when I was pregnant with #1 and DH kept telling me how he'd be on nighttime parenting as he is a night owl. Well, with #1, DH wasn't home many nights so I handled it by default.
With #2, we juggle both kids but I primarily handle DS at night.
I don't mind I just mind that when I'm obviously busy or if I'm even asleep, there doesn't seem to be any attempt whatsoever to help soothe DS back to bed. I'm the goto.
Monday, March 05, 2012
All day, I've been noticing my freezer isn't keeping things frozen.
I'm thinking, maybe DD left it open. She's done this in the past.
Maybe it's because it's not as full as it used to be and I read somewhere a packed freezer keeps things frozen better.
I figure, any moment, I'm going hear the whirring of the motors to start up the freezer.
I forget about it thinking I'm worrying too much.
Then DD asks for ice cream.
Since it's a special day in our house, I say sure.
I pull out our homemade ice cream we made together at the beginning of the week and it's soft serve.
I have breastmilk in the freezer. I can't have it defrost.
I begin to panic.
DH starts taking measurements to bring to the store.
I start kicking myself in the butt.
Why didn't I check it after lunch?
What am I going to do about the breastmilk? Would it be weird if I ask my neighbor to hold my stash for me overnight until my new freezer gets to the optimal temperature?
What about our special dinner we were supposed to have tonight?
I'm feeling a little sullen.
I decide to do the obligatory turn the knobs one last time in the freezer just in case.
I slowly put all the stuff back and decide to keep the freezer door closed until the new freezer arrives.
DD asks for water.
I open the fridge and touch the water. It's cool but not cold.
How did I not notice that?
Did I think it was because I just refilled the water pitcher?
Then I look up and see a knob.
It is a dial and it has numbers 1 through 8.
It's pointing to <1.
Or is it pointing to >8?
I turn the darn thing and the recognizable humming of the generator starts.
The knob that time forgot but a 3 year old saw and decided, hey, wouldn't it be cool to turn it this way.
Is this the beginnings of the plot to prove Mom is off her rocker?
Friday, March 02, 2012
Thursday, March 01, 2012
If I were given more time during the day, I still wouldn't be able to do what I want to get done in the day. It wouldn't be possible because I'd just add to my list of todos. That's the hard reality and I know this and so every day I do everything little by little.
I remind myself, think of what matters not what needs to get done. This gives me solace. It's more important to spend time with my kids and help them learn than to do an extra load of wash.
DH asks constantly, "How did so and so do it?"
Honestly, I don't think there is a set formula. You have to run with the punches. He's still in awe with so and so who had 5 kids all 18 mths apart.
I'm fairly certain that we are at a point with our youngest that the mere thought of adding another to our brood would kill my husband. He's exhausted. He's tired. He's in the thick of it.
It's funny to see it on this end. I'm tired. I'm exhausted but on another level. For me, I survived labor, delivery and the first 3 months post partum. Knowing I survived that level of exhaustion gives me that extra boost to keep going.
Oh and there's the offspring too. Having to care for young'uns keeps you living on fumes.
Labels: The Parent Trap