Tuesday, December 21, 2004

The Ministry of Silly Walks has a new member...

In the last few years, the P-man has had more difficulty walking over the salt patches the building spreads out to melt the ice. I've suggested that we purchase those booties for dogs but it never came to light until last night.

We bought two types: a fleece set and a set I can only explain as those soft gloves my brother used to wear when he was talking karate.

This morning I used the karate mittens aka Jean Claude Vans. Aside from my dog giving me some serious looks this morning these mittens make the P-man the talk of the town. Strangers and neighbors came up to me to say how stylish he looked. Heck, I think they were just watching he try to walk with those things on. If you've never seen a dog acclimate to these things, imagine a dog pulling his foot out to the side and then rotating it to the front. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is a real life incident that cartoonist imitate with that rotating walk.

Ok, I really tried to have empathy but every time his hind legs rotated I giggled. I tried muffling it.

A mitten walk adds an extra ten minutes to my morning routine which I learned the hard way. Here are some tips for new dog mitten users:

1. Strap those things on tight. You might think you are hurting them but trust me, they'll let you know if it's too tight. If you make them too loose, you'll be mitten hunting in the street.

2. Avoid the fleece unless you don't mind cleaning shmutz every walk.

3. Be prepared to be stopped by strangers on how cute your dog looks. Hence, don't walk your dogs without lipstick.