Thursday, December 16, 2004

Click and Ship is a Postal Carrier's Happy Holiday

Lrudlrick's presents have been wrapped. I feel bad though. See, every year, I take extra special care in wrapping presents. I wrap everyone's presents with a unique twist; well all except Lrudlrick's. First, I have to deal with hiding the darn things. Secondly, I have to wrap them before he gets home. Thirdly, most of the time his gifts require to rolls of wrapping paper.

So I usually wind up wrapping his gifts in brown paper. Yeah, yeah. I love brown paper and ribbon. It's all Little House but I'm talking about a wrap job that is far worse than any wrap job a medic in the line of fire can do.
To be honest, in one of his presents, I accidently poked a hole in the paper. So I taped it up and put a ribbon right on top of it. Then as I was moving it, I ran my fingernail through the other side. So I taped that up and it's now decided that the ripped part will lay flush to the tree skirt.

Hubby doesn't do too well with the wrapping either. He only wraps one gift, mine. No fail, every year, he waits until the night before and he asks for tape and wrapping paper. Every year I've but only scraps left. Every year, he uses the entire new roll of tape. [Hence, I buy the 99 cent tape and leave that one for him to use.]

The first year we were together, he bought an outrageous giant tigger bear for me. Of course, he had no clue how to wrap a giant orange tigger with springy tail. So he pretty much wrapped it like a meat log. The sounds of tape being ripped was deafening. When he finally came out to put the presents under the tree, he looked like Bill Murray's Hercules lifting a giant gift wrapped boulder.

Ever since, he thinks I'm some savant with gift wrapping. Hello, it's not like I aspire to be the gift wrapping guru.

It's typical of men though. You guys think that women naturally enjoy, wrapping gifts, going shopping, doing dishes and folding laundry. Here's a tip: we don't dream about ironing or folding or washing or wrapping. It needs to be done. Since the tolerance factor is much lower in a typical woman, we get stuck doing these chores.
Ladies, we aren't off the hook. My husband reminded me last night. Asking for help, however ridiculuous that sounds, is necessary with men. Men will sit on their butts playing Xbox while you vacuum around them, carry three loads of wash in front of them, go through extreme lengths to reach that container on the top shelf. They don't think this is rude because in all honesty, their line of sight is minimal. If it's not directly in their line of sight (boob level), then they don't see and what you don't see, you can't be blamed for.

Finally, men, here's one last tip: Women appreciate a kind gesture. Yes, we know you need to be told what to do but sometimes, do a quick scan of the room and see if there is anything you think would irk your wife/spouse/partner. Maybe it's that errant sock on the floor by your chair. Maybe it's that empty cup on the coffee table. However big or small, take care of it.
Trust me, your she will notice and be very thankful.

Cookie count: 30 dozen

Beers consummed: 12 or so (after 5 who counts?)

Burns: 1 (but it's a doozy)