Thursday, May 26, 2011

About to whip out a Duran Duran t-shirt to wear.

This drives me bonkers.
I know it in no way is supposed to be meant to be a slight or a whatnot but why does my husband always do his wash first and my daughters and mine last?
Prior to TG being born, we separated or wash.  It wasn't because we didn't want to help each other but I just couldn't deal with having to do my wash, the house wash, the dog's wash and 3-4 loads of my husband's wash a week.  Yes, you read that right, my husband has 3-4 loads of wash a week.
I gave up on ironing his shirts the third month into our union.  I happily buy the $$$ brooks brothers no iron shirts or send them off to Jessica at the cleaners for pressing.
It's for my own sanity.
So when TG came along, I figured I'd do my wash, the house wash, the dog wash and her wash. 
Then DH became a SAHD.  He didn't cook nor was he consistent with his promises to wash dishes so laundry, mopping, sweeping and vacuuming became his thing.
I happily welcomed this.
Yes, you still caught me doing a load of wash once a week but at least DH was helping with most of it.
Problem is DH doesn't have a set schedule.  He does the wash when he runs out of clothes.  I won't even go into how he may do the wash but apparently folding is a separate endeavor.
I do the wash once a week.  I don't wait until I'm on the pair of underwear that came in the three pack that was fugally but you saved it for the backup pair.  I don't wait until the pile of laundry overflows over the hamper to the point it begins to look like Jabba the Hut is squatting in our home.
I also do the wash when I foresee a trip or function that will interrupt our normal laundry cycle.
I know.  I know.  I have OCD. 
So when the pile gets a little crazy, I try not to just jump in and do the laundry but patiently wait for DH.
I start dropping hints.
I resort the laundry (we have a laundry sorter bin).  I wheel the darn laundry cart out into the hallways so you have to notice it.
I put the laundry detergent on top of the cart.
When it starts to overflow, I bring out the granny go cart and resort the laundry again.
And perhaps its this darn sorting that is the stick in the cog.
I sort his laundry out of our laundry.
The piles are always the same in order of size: DH's laundry, the household laundry w/dog laundry, TG's laundry & my laundry.
And every time, when he's finally gotten around to doing the laundry, he does his load first.  He doesn't fold it and just shoves it back into the granny go cart and then says he's exhausted and he'll do our laundry tomorrow.
I seriously need clothes folks.  I'm pregnant and am officially in maternity wear.  Being the cheap mom that I am I have limited maternity clothes as I'd like to think that I'll return to my size 4 jeans post pregnancy.
As of 10:47pm on 05.26.2011, I have the following clean clothes available to me: 3 pairs of underpants, a strapless bra, 1 tank top, 1 pair of boxer shorts, 1 pair of cord pants, 2 pairs of jeans, a formal maternity dress (for a wedding on Saturday), 3 long sleeve henleys and a spaghetti strap mini dress.
Ok, that seems like a lot but consider the temperature I'm dealing with now.  It's in the 80's and extremely humid and muggy in NYC now.  Did I mention I'm pregnant?  So essentially it's like 95 degrees and not the nice 95 degrees in the southwest desert hot but 95 degrees in Aruba without a breeze hot and sticky.
Tomorrow I can either wear the mini dress or the tank and boxers to a playmate and to run errands.  Anyone who has a 2 year old and is pregnant knows the mini dress is just asking for me to be written up for indecent exposure at the playground.  Can you imagine my pregnant ass climbing the monkey bars with my toddler in a mini dress?
Yes, you know I'm still climbing because well I have a two year old so you climb ladders, swing on swings, go down slides and climb through tunnels while hefting your incubation chamber.
Now, I could do the laundry but I had an 8 hour day at work, made a from scratch meal in 30 minutes, emptied the dishwasher twice and started it twice, spent time with our daughter, fed our daughter and got her ready for bed.
Oh and I'm making my list of groceries and things to pack for our quick memorial day playdate get together.
DH promises to do the laundry tomorrow so I will just have to rock the tank and boxer shorts look tomorrow.
However, if no laundry is done by tomorrow night, pregosauraus and mothra is going to pull out a can of whoop ass like you wouldn't believe.

Monday, May 23, 2011


It's been a while. Most of the time it's because I'm exhausted and don't have time to put my head on paper but this time I have an actual physical excuse, my mactop blew up.

Well specifically, my mactop was accidentally dropped on its side and well we think the hard drive crapped out. We can see it in safe mode but I can't boot up.

I need to transfer my data over to our external and then I'll try to reinstall OS and see if that works. If not, it's new hard drive time or a trip to the Genius Bar.

I've been feeling guilty lately, ok, when do I not feel guilty. I know it's very common as most moms of have told me they felt this as well. I just feel like with #1 my head was all abou #1. Now my head is about #2 sometimes but mostly how can I juggle #1 & #2, how will this effect #1, how will this effect DH? etc..

I bet men don't think this way.

DH had this smile and grin on his face at the last sonogram. I'm not sure what that was about. He's been smiles before but this one was different. I don't know if it was the scene and the pregnancy hormones but there he was smiling holding onto our daughter watching the screen and my love for him grew even more.

On the learning front, TG is now using the potty without taking her pants off completely. She pulls them down to her ankles and pulls them back up after I help her wipe. She's also insisting that my husband shave daily. This is very cute. She stands on her step stool and watches him shave. The funny thing is that it takes at least three days for some actual stubble to come in to warrant a shave. It doesn't stop TG insisting that he be smooth as a baby's bottom.

We took our toddler to Sesame Place for the first time. It was an impromptu trip brought on by TG's all time favorite musician performing at the park. TG doesn't watch Sesame Street and only knows a handful of characters, thanks to DH's impressions so SP wasn't a place you'd think we'd go to. Still it was a close drive and the highlight was Justin Roberts performing. We took our pooch along as our dog walker was out of town. It was a day trip and it wasn't too warm so we felt comfortable checking on her in an opened car every two hours. It wasn't ideal but it worked out as TG had to use the potty around the same times. We paid extra to park by the entrance and kept going back and forth for potty breaks for both toddler and pup.

I don't know if I mentioned this yet but TG now goes to potty in the car. We have our portable potty there and she prefers the peace and privacy of the car to the public bathrooms. The echoing and noises of a public restroom were too much for her.

Oh and yes, we bought a new car. M5 is her name. You'd think a stationwagon (DH called it a sportswagen but we all know it was a stationwagon) would suffice but with every child DH must hunt and gather. And so we now have a Mazda5. Essentially it's a mini-minivan but don't tell my husband that.

DH had finals last week so it was a week filled with juggling and making sure DH had plenty of time to study and do what he needed do to finish his projects. The sense of relief on his face Saturday evening said it all. Now he has a week of rest before it starts all over again. I'm so proud of him.

Finally, it snuck up on me but it's Memorial Day time. We're thinking of taking another day trip as we found them to be actually relaxing and fun. Sure, I'm like a madwoman planning and packing contingencies but my fondest memories as a child were in the backseat of my parent's car driving to and fro.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Pregnancy: The Public Private Event

A girlfriend and I had this long talk and she made me realize something very important about pregnancy:
Pregnancy is a very private public event.
That's what's bugging me. 
I'm not a very public person yet with a pregnancy it is very much so.  Now, with the first, you are just so high on the first time of it all you completely forget you are sharing information about your mucous plug to folks.
With the second, you've got that been there done that and all of a sudden folks are asking your even more intimate details.
Maybe I should be more open about my cervix and my discharge and that will simmer folks down.  LOL.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

The Perfect Mother's Day

I never thought I would be the type of person that would  make mother's day a holiday type of event.  I'm not a hallmark type of person.  Valentine's day is seems frivilous to me. 
But since I became a mom and since the experience years are growing I have an added value in the day.  Its not a value that others would associate I suppose.  Mothers day isnt about family gatherings or fancy teas or a day of no family.  To me, Mothers day is the one day in 365 (sometimes 366) where my husband can be the mom for a change.
Now wait, pg, isnt your husband a SAHD? Yes but that doesnt mean he is a mom. He is tthe cool dad that goes with the flow and doesnt worry whether there are enough snacks or potty facilities etc...
Moms worry. 
Moms plan. 
Moms have contingency plans. 
Moms coordinate. 
Moms organize. 
Moms think of others first. 
Moms worry about other people's feelings before their own. 
Mother's day is the one day of the year i do not want to plan or thinka about.  Once I figure out mom's day gifts for grandparents (Let us be honest.  Since my husband and I met, he hasn't given a thought once about mom's and pop's day and his parents.   Yup, it's the wife who has to figure it out every single year.)  and send out greetings to fellow moms, I am done. 
I want that day from the first yawn and stretch to be a day of absolute carelessness (well by mom standards).
Let Dad get everyone dressed and up for church.
Let dad figure out breakfast. 
Let dad figure out what to do today, even if it is absolutely nothing. 
Let dad pack snacks or figure out provisions. 
Let dad contemplate skipping/altering/planning around naps. 
Let dad contemplate the consquences of the above. 
Let dad figure out meals and how to do the dishes between rounds of hide and go seek. 
I dont want fancy restaurants. 
I dont want weekend getaways. 
I dont want flowers. 
I dont want candies and chocolates.  
I dont want spa trips
I dont want jewelry. 
I dont want a day of alone time. 
I want to shut off my mom brain and let someone else be the adult responsible mom today. 

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Stop the world, I want to update my blog.

It's been awhile and it's not because I don't have much to tell about but that the world just won't slow down enough for me to do so.

On the toddler front, our toddler has an awesome memory. She's also patient and seems to be compassionate. She hugs us and kisses our boo boos. She asks one of us to calm down if we are frustrated and if we speak too harshly or loudly. If we tell her to wait until the clock says 'x', she will patiently do so but boy howdy if you renege.

We played baseball for the first time yesterday. Ok, we actually practiced swinging a bat. She tells me that she doesn't need to swing with two hands but can do it with one. What can I say, she's an overachiever.

She fell off the second to top rung of the curvy slide swing at the playground. Later, she recounted the event and even brought me to the scene of the incident and said, "I fell and I cried like this, "Ahhh", but I'm ok. Daddy gave me a hug and kiss and I'm all better. I was scared."

She's obsessed obsessed with balloons. It was a balloon bonanza this weekend. On Saturday, we went to a fair and she patiently waited on a very slow moving line to receive her very first balloon shaped animal. She requested a green puppy. The balloon artist made a lease for her to use to hold her puppy on. She kept trying to literally walk it on the sidewalk and I had to explain that balloon puppies can walk in the sky to avoid a popping incident.
Later that evening on the way home, the balloon animal unravelled and instead of being upset, she laughed and giggled and said her green puppy looks really silly now. It was a long green balloon by now and she kept insisting it was her green puppy still. I love her imagination and her upbeat spirit.
On Sunday we went to a friend's 3rd birthday party. We stayed and helped clean up and she was awarded with 6 helium balloons. DH tied them to his keys and she walked all the way home (5 blocks) clutching and playing with her balloons. That evening, we had to tie the balloons to her bedpost so she could see them as she drifted to sleep.
On Monday, she saw a dad at the park with balloon helicopter and was fascinated.
Being the mom that I am, I bought her a balloon powered helicopter and balloon powered car the next day. She was in heaven and clutched to her balloon car. She even decorated it with some stripes and flames and a giant number 8. She was so excited and couldn't wait to go to the playground to test them out.
She was the life of the party. 5-6 girls and 2 boys came up to us and we spent 45 minutes sharing and playing and chasing after the helicopter and car.
Thankfully mom had the foresight to buy a handpump otherwise, I would have peetered out after the third balloon blow up.
I had each kid help by either holding the propellers or help me pump by holding onto the pump. There was a lot of cooperation which I always get a kick out of with 2-3 year olds.
On the incubating egg, ToF is doing well. We had a mini scare on Saturday when DH accidentally kneed me under the belly button while we were horsing around with TG. I called the doctor and she said as long as I don't do anything strenuous the rest of the day, don't have cramping or bleeding, I should be fine. ToF is the size of a plum now and is well cushioned. Later, I ate some yogurt and fresh fruit to kick up the sugar and felt a small amount of movement and was reassured.
I spoke to some moms regarding the difference in reactions between first and subsequent children as well as different emotions and I was comforted that the emotional highs and lows appear to be normal.
It is so strange that the second pregnancy is much more emotional.
On the DH handling pregnancy front, he's doing better than I suppose. His car kick has hit though and I know it's going to go into 4th gear very very soon. We've been to three dealerships so far and a car show. He's test drives some cars and even had me sit in on one. I told him point blank yesterday a new car is fine and he can rationalize it all he wants but I am fairly certain that before ToF's first birthday, he will have us in another car. I've made peace with this and as long as it's safe and the drive is good, I have no problem with whatever it is about babies that causes him to go car shopping.
He said he wishes I was more opinionated. Seriously, I think I have been. I'm open-minded but will speak my mind if I truly have an opinion. I'm just not as opinionated as he wants I suppose when it comes to cars.
The kicker was, during our last car buying adventure, he lost our current car's key fob. Didi's car fob costs $300 to replace. Wait, don't you have two sets? Actually, we had two sets and a valet key. DH lost his set just before TG's first birthday. He took my set afterwards. Now we just have a valet key. He's kicking himself. I'm wondering if I should put stickers on our car keys now that have our phone number, just in case.
By the way, I'm probably dating myself but my first car didn't have a key fob. It was the standard silver key affair. I don't think I paid more than $25 to replace that key.