Friday, March 28, 2008

The ramblings of a 26 week pregnant woman or what happens when your hormones take over


Today I danced. I put on my iPOD and danced around my living room. I danced around with my bopping belly to Jackson Five and Aretha Franklin.

Ever since then Miss Bean has been doing what I can only describe as a Cirque de Soleil routine. At one point I felt like something was pushing my ribs up.

I got sweaty and clammy. My synapses started misfiring. I misread things. It was scary. I felt like my heart rate was high. After 3 cups of water, I started returning to normal.

I don’t think the sweaty/clammy thing was related to the dancing or the Cirque de Soleil though. I figured since I’m just rambling, I might as well note that weird incident.

Oh, I had another weird dream. I dreamt that your dad and I were asleep on a full size hospital bed and I gave birth while he was asleep. I gave birth alone in the dark with just a night light. There were no nurses or doctors, just me. After I gave birth I kept wondering if it really happened. I turned to your dad and nudged him awake and said, "I think I just gave birth." He grunted and rolled over and hugged his pillow. Oh and it was June 2nd. Bizarro.

I’m adding this to my other nutty pregnancy dreams. There was the James Caan ballroom dancing with your PoPo dressed in the dress your MaMa wore on my wedding. This was happening while a ghost in a mansion was chasing me in an empty theatre. Then there was the giving birth to a pale kidney bean dream. I know there were more strange dreams but I really don’t recall them at this moment.

Each time I have these funky dreams, I make it a point to tell your dad. Oh, there have been two dreams where your dad did something scary that made me wake up in a cold sweat. I wake up knowing it was a dream and I’m just hormonal. Still a reassuring, “It’s just a dream, dear. I’m here for you,” would be nice. Your dad being the practical man that he is just turns around and hugs his pillow.

You’re up on my ribcage again. Wow. You are really moving around today.

Anyway, today I begin my last week of my second trimester. This is kind of scary for me. I’m heading towards the inevitable. Don’t get me wrong. I love you and I can’t wait to meet you in July but I’m scared.

Pregnancy is about taking care of you from the inside. When you come out to this world, I can only protect you so much. Plus, I know I’ll make mistakes. Will I know what to do? I know they’ll be times you will be mad at me. There will be times I will be mad at you. Will I be a good mom? Will I be able to stop thinking of just myself? Will I be able to juggle work and you and dad? Will I be a good mom while still pursuing my career? Will I disappoint you?

Then there is the fear associated with pain and labor. What’s going to happen to my body? Will I be able to handle it? Am I going to be strong? Will I know what to do?

Am I deluding myself? I keep saying everyone has gone through this. I am not reinventing the wheel. Still, the idea of going through labor is scary. I must do it alone. Sure I have your dad and doctors and nurses there to support me but essentially I’m doing the majority of the work.

What if I can’t push you out? What if I have prolonged labor? I know it’s stressful for you. I don’t want to prolong it for you. What if I’m not strong enough?

I know once we start our classes and I stop reading all the labor chapters and books, I’ll feel a bit better. Classes start next month. Until then, I try to reassure myself.

Miss Bean, I don’t mean to scare you. I’m guessing this is completely normal and I’m
sure these feelings will pass.

I’ve started working on your birth announcements and yes, your baptism invitations. I know I’m jumping the gun. Your dad laughs when I talk about it but it makes me happy. Dad keeps telling me to slow down but your baptism means a lot to me and it keeps me from freaking out about other things I have no control over, like if your crib will be delivered in time.

I think I am going to ask your uncle to help me with the photos for your announcements. Your uncle is a good photographer and has this super cool camera.

I’d like to have a family photo including a solo photo of you on our announcements. I’m still sketching the designs.

I know, I should think of ordering announcements. I just can’t get myself to think of doing that. I’ve always made my cards. It will hard not to do something for you as well. Yes, Miss Bean, I think we may be making cards together in the future.

Your mom is a scrapbooking, card making, arts and crafts gal. I see construction paper, glitter and crayons in your future.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

What I’ve learned so far

at 24w6d:

Emotions: You will be emotional. Severity differs but you will find yourself emotional.

Going to a baby store: no longer elicits terror but a wild imagination similar to the one you probably have when playing with your dolls. For example, Easter outfits for girls can cause your mom to get really sappy. Be prepared to be dressed in a dress with a matching hat, purse and shoes.

Bathroom Tip #1: Not one single pregnancy book will tell you this but going to the bathroom changes in your second trimester. Sure, the act of going to the bathroom is the same but the execution is different. See, by the second trimester, your belly becomes a giant water balloon slinging around. When you sit on the toilet, you have to reposition yourself.

Bathroom Tip #2: When you tinkle and you think you are finished, lean forward before you wipe. I promise you will have residual tinkle waiting. Once that’s done, then wipe.

Bathroom Tip #3: When the urge to poop comes over you, go poop. Don’t wait. Don’t try to hold it. See, your organs are squished inside of you when you are pregnant. If you wait, you run the risk of discomfort as the baby moves around pushing onto your full bladder and intestines. You also don’t want to suffer from a hard poop. You know what I mean, the kind that requires you to bear down. When you are slinging a water balloon around, bearing down is the last thing you want to do.

Bathroom Tip #4: Have a fluffy robe handy for showers and baths. Nothing is more comforting than to have a warm robe envelope your pregnant body after a shower. Keeping a towel up around your growing belly will be challenging and if you don’t have body size towels, you will notice your belly will protrude out of your towel. This will be an emotionally crippling moment.

Bathroom Tip #5: Whenever possible, take a nice warm bath. I’m not sure if it relaxes you or if it’s the baby but you will surely feel the baby moving around while soaking. It’s kind of neat and makes you feel closer to the baby. Make sure the bath isn’t hot hot though. It also alleviates some the back pressure and leg pressure you may begin to feel.

Hygiene Tip: Get a pedicure. No matter how much money you think you are trying to save, do yourself a favor and get one. Your mom spent way too much time trying to crunch down and remove paint from her pinky toe. Sure, you can’t see your toes when you stand, but when you elevate them as you will be doing often while reclining, it’s nice to see pretty pink toes. Also, it’s a nice treat for the dad as you will now have him help you with…

Hygiene Tip #2: moisturizing your body. You may feel awkward allowing your man to see you in your pregnancy glory, stretch marks, linea nigra, Lord knows what else is going on down below and behind you where you can’t see. If you don’t want him to help baste you and moisturize you, the one thing you should ask him to do is to moisturize your calves and feet. He most likely oblige you as you are carrying his offspring. Your dad massaged the Dickens out of my calves and feet. I loved him for every moment of it.

Dressing Tip: You will find it harder to put on socks and shoes that require buckling or tying. In the winter stick with long boots you can slip on and off. For the summer, slip ons will do but for heaven’s sake, please, please don’t wear flip flops like they are standard shoes. Your mom has an issue with this. Flip flops are fine for the house and errands but not for work or going out.

Braxton Hicks Contractions: You may begin to feel them around your 5th-6th month. You won’t know the difference between menstrual cramps, poop cramps and BH contractions. For me, they started off feeling like poop cramps and lasted for about 20 seconds. You will notice your belly gets tighter. By the time the cramps are done, your tummy gets a bit looser. This is normal if a bit disconcerting at first. The main thing to remember is it’s your uterus preparing itself and as long as it isn’t painful, you are doing okay.

Your dad always knew when they were happening because I’d make a poo face. It’s not so bad except when it happens while you are with a bunch of people and you can’t help but clutch your tightening belly and make a poo face. Then you have to explain to people that a) you’re not going into labor and b) no you didn’t poot. Plus if you are with a bunch of people who aren’t used to being around a pregnant woman or wasn’t pregnant themselves, telling them to continue what they were talking about will be fruitless.

Belly Talk: You will talk to your belly in public and you won’t care. Your mom will probably talk to the belly in public and she won’t care. Strangers will touch your belly without asking. Smile nicely and casually place your hand on your belly. You will feel like you are protecting your baby and most people will move their hands away naturally. This avoid that uncomfortable, ‘Get your hand off my belly' stare.

Temperament: Whenever possible, live life happily and focus on the good and not the bad. Laugh. Smile. Try not to worry. I know, your mom should be the last person to say that. Why? Well, right now, as I write this, I can recall the many times I’ve felt you moving around inside me and each time was during a period of joy, happiness, contentment and lightheartedness. Last night alone, your mom found something extremely funny. You will soon learn your mom has a weird sense of humor. She laughed so hard she cried. She was in tears for a good 5 minutes. Afterwards, you moved around so much it felt like you were laughing inside.

Pregasaurus strikes again


My emotions have increased. I find myself crying more easily now. Heck, I cried during Defending Your Life and it wasn’t tears of laughter.

It doesn’t help that I’m going through some contemplation and weighing of my priorities and goals or that your dad has been running on overtime trying to get some last minute things in his ‘to do list’ taken care of.

Your mom and dad decided long ago there were several things we needed to do for ourselves and for us before we even thought of bringing you into this world. It’s not that we wouldn’t be able to do many of those things with you but we wanted to devote attention to our goals and when you came along, your goals without having to split ourselves too thin.

Dad is in his zone right now. I support him 100% but sometimes the pregnancy hormones and emotions get the best of me. Last night, I had an awful thought; what if I didn’t have your dad. It was so scary. Your dad and I have been together for so long and love each other so much that I don’t think I ever could imagine a life without him.

I know this is going to get sappy but I’m entitled to; I’m pregnant. Your dad is truly my best friend and my confidante. Honesty is a big key in our relationship.

We have always been honest with each other, even to the point where it hurts sometimes. Still, it is a foundation piece for us. In the beginning stages of our relationship, your dad once told me that he thought it might not be a good idea to tell me something but he couldn’t look at me without feeling awful, keeping a secret.

Something inside told him that there was no reason to keep secrets with me. It was one of those little events in the beginning of a relationship that meant so much more than the other person could know. It stuck and ‘til this day remains a vivid memory in the relationship archives.

So last night, I’m sitting at home at 8pm, without an appetite, unable to think of anything else except what if I was alone without your dad. Mind you, this wasn’t aided by the fact that your dad had not called, emailed or text messaged me since 12 noon.

I kept thinking to myself, 9pm, he’ll call. He’s busy at work. 9pm he will call.

At 9pm, he called. His phone died and he was stuck with work and there was no reception in the meeting hall. He ran to the car, plugged his phone into the car jack and dialed me right away. He sounded awful. His voice made me cry.

I know I’m overreacting but it was ridiculous. In my 12 years together with your dad, we’ve both had days where we’re so busy we hardly touchbase. We’ve had times when we were spent nights away from each other for business. It has been less than 8 hours and I’m a ball of tears.

Later on, he wondered why I never responded to his text messages. When I told him the last text message I received was a noon, he checked his phone and saw that before it died, the messages he wrote never were transmitted. He felt terrible and spent the rest of the night pampering me.

So what is the point of this? I’m an irrational crazy woman and your parents are big saps. You’re going to probably have an insane mother wondering where you are throughout the day.

Forgive her if she decides to lo-jack you. She just probably loves you.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

There was a time when soda for breakfast sounded cool


I had my fasting glucose test today. This doctor prefers to get a fasting level and a 1 hour level. Therefore I went 12 hours without food or water. Ok, I had a half a glass of water.

Mom went with me to my prenatal visit and glucose test. I think she liked it

30 minutes after ingesting the sweet syrup, I felt lightheaded and woozy. Miss Bean was bouncing off my walls and I started feeling as if I was hitting a sugar high.

60 minutes later, I’m definitely bouncing off the walls. They take my blood and I beeline to the nearest diner for some protein. Mom whips out a thermos of soup for me and two small plastic containers.

mom: “I made you soup just in case.”

pg: “Cool, thanks mom but I really want protein. What’s in the box?”

mom: “Chinese sweet rolls.”

I love my mom but what made her think sweet rolls would be what a pregnant woman who hasn’t eaten in 12+ hours except for a 50g of orange sugar water want.

I smiled and packed them in my bag to eat later and drove to the diner.

What I have learned is I do not fare well with only sugar in my body. My brain turns to mush. I’ll look at you and see you talking to me but I can’t compute anything.

By hour 4, I started crashing hard. I was yawning left and right and I was trying desperately to fight Pregasauraus.

It doesn’t help that the office had a few emergencies so I’ve been on the computer working on them since I got back from dropping my mom off.

I definitely need a saline drip and a nap in order to push this groggy sugary down out of my body.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Happy Pi Day. If only they had $3.14 sales.


It has been an incredibly long week for me but my husband helped me end it on a high note.
We finally purchased Miss Bean’s crib. It will arrive in 8 to 12 weeks.

Thank your dad. He decided part of his bonus should go to you. I hope you like it Miss Bean.

Your dad and mom went through a ton of books and visited many stores and finally agreed on this one. I don’t think dad was ready for the sticker shock. Let’s just put it to you this way, thank goodness we choose a convertible crib because if Dad had his way, you’d be using this bed until you can afford your own ‘Big Girl’ bed.

Your dad did impress me with his knowledge of mattresses. As the salesman explained the ‘newest’ technology in mattresses for tots, Dad countered some of his arguments and even asked extremely knowledgeable questions.

Now I’d like to decorate your bed with one of those pretty bed settings but in all honesty, I don’t need everything that comes in a set. Plus, it’s not like you can use the quilt and other stuff that comes in it. It’s safer to keep is bare bones until you are a bit older. I will be honest thought I find this setting very tempting.

I’ve picked out all cotton sheets for you. I think I’ll make the bed skirt and some wall hangings with the design. That should do it. There isn’t a need to spend $$$ on bedding, especially bedding that isn’t 100% cotton.

I’m trying very hard not to fall for the gimmicky stuff and stay realistic. A few dollars saved in an unneeded item can go towards the stuff you will need later on. Plus I can buy more books for you.

Yes, I know, I’m starting a collection of books extremely early. Some people buy baby clothes, I buy books. I have 8 books bought especially for you and 8 other books I kept from when I was little. I have a list of other books I’d like to get for you. I had forgotten how much I liked this book when I was a little girl. It’s called The Hundred Dresses. You are still too young for it but when you are old enough, we can read it together.

For now and until you’re old enough, Dad and I will continue to read short 5 minutes stories to you.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I graduated…

to wearing my husband’s pajama pants.


Last night, I got home and changed into my yoga pants. Although I could fit it through my round posterior, I felt a tightness around the front so I did what any sensible pregnant woman in denial would do. I pushed them down under my butt and put on a big sleep shirt.

I spent the night walking like a geisha/penguin. The dogs didn’t seem to mind.
Then my husband came home and I had to confess that I was walking funny because my pants didn’t fit anymore.

“Why don’t you wear the maternity sweat pants you bought?”

Pg: “Because that would be too logical. No, I only have one pair and they are in the hamper. I can’t eat anything without spilling something on me nowadays.”


My husband lent me his soft cushy blue pajama pants. Unbeknownst to him, these pants have become property of Pregasaurus until after the I lose the baby fat. They will placed safely under lock and key until such time.

Once I put them on, I could have done cartwheels. It was ridiculous how happy I was. It made me walking around with my butt hanging out of my pants seem absurd. I know. I know. I can say this in retrospect. I swear it made sense when I did it.

Of course, I’m happy as a clam and have proclaimed to the world how my husband’s pants rock. That’s when the bubble burster comes in, “Wait until they don’t fit anymore.”

I hadn’t thought of that. What if I get so big I outgrow my husband? No more comfy sleep shirts. No more comfy sweat pants. It’s bad enough my turtlenecks now look like midriff tops. My turtlenecks were the last articles of ‘normal’ clothing I didn’t pack away. My entire closet now is filled with maternity clothes. Oh and I also have to buy a spring jacket as I sadly came to the conclusion Saturday that my raincoat was not going to function as a raincoat if I left it opened or just used the waist tie.

I’m not going to think about it too much. I’m just going to live in my husband’s pants for as long as I can and cross the OMG-I’m-bigger-than-my-husband bridge when/if I get there.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Pregnancy Happy Hour: 2 for 1 hormone cocktails

I had this dream last night. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. The pain wasn’t the focus. The focus was when I first saw her lungs expand and she took her first breath. I started crying. I couldn’t believe it was real. The doctors and nurses were all joyous and happy and everything was blurred except for her and her chest.
The clarity of her lungs expanding and contracting took my breath away. I didn’t see her face or anything else. I couldn’t tell you what she looked like but those lungs, by golly, could have been full size adult lungs.

I heard my dreams would start shifting to the delivery. I didn’t know it would happen so soon and just when I was getting used to the erotic dreams. I suppose in a strange way the topic is the same, my body. I don’t know if it’s the hormones or just the everyday focus on one’s body but pregnancy can bring on detailed sex dreams. Go figure, I’m a complete horn dog now and my husband probably looks at me like an incubation chamber for his unborn.

Chalk that up to the irony of pregnancy. It goes along side ‘I can finally eat guilt free but I’ll if I eat too much I’ll get heartburn/feel bloated/won’t be able to breathe/deal with cottage cheese thighs/deal with indigestion for 3 hours.’
One thing that isn’t a perk is the surge of hormones. Progesterone elevations cause your brain to occasionally hibernate. I’m serious. You know how annoying it is when while on your computer your pc decides to take a brief nap? That’s what happens to your brains. You’ll be standing there adamant you need to do something, like go to the dry cleaners. You’ll get there, pick up your dry cleaning but realize on the way back you forgot to drop off the boat load of dirty clothes in the back seat of your car.

Then you’ve got the cocktail of hormones that causes you to become an emotional basket case. All of a sudden the dams break open and your tear ducts burst for the silliest of reasons. I’m reading a short story to the Bean and the idea of Rumpelstiltskin taking the Queen’s first born away sends me to tears.

The worst for me right now is how my hubby is spending extra hours working. I think it’s a part of his nesting and stuff to do before the kid comes. I lean more toward the later. My theory is that he thinks the baby is my thing. I know that makes no sense but he’s always known that in my lifetime, I’d like to be a mom. Obviously, this can’t be ‘my thing’ alone but I suppose if we looked at our to do lists in life, be a mom is up there for me. Plus, pregnancy is different than being a mom and fortunately/unfortunately (depending on how you look at it) he really can’t experience pregnancy. If pregnancy and being a mother is my thing, then he should do something on his list. So he is spending as much of his energy and time trying to do his thing.

He’s not neglecting me. I know he’s trying his best to dote on me and give me extra attention. The hormones just do some wacky things. A normally independent woman suddenly loses her inability to multi-task and do simple things like put the kitchen-aid away on the top shelf and she feels helpless. The only person she feels comfortable to turn to is her husband.

I know some have told me to milk this but I don’t want to milk it. I want to be able to pack boxes and carry them to storage. I want to be able to move furniture but I can’t. I need to rely on my husband now and my OCD is not happy with the timing. I know I have a deep need to get things done on my schedule but there is a method to my madness now.

Next week is Palm Sunday. Hubby is working on Saturday and Sunday I have scheduled visits with the homebound. The following weekend is Easter. My family is coming over for Easter dinner. My kitchen is mostly boxed up sitting in my dining room waiting to be moved to storage. I have three or four furniture pieces that need to be recycled or donated sitting in my hallway. My pantry looks like a 9 year old raided it. My bathroom could use a good scrubbing. There is still painter’s tape along the edges of my picture molding in the hallway and we have yet to prepare for nursery. Ok, we haven’t even picked out the dresser drawer or ordered the crib yet but that’s beside the point.

I’m only getting bigger which slows my ability to pack and clean things tremendously. Hubby has increased work hours and a family reunion he plans to attend next month. After that, we’ve got childbirth classes and other infant care classes that will take up our free time the following month which leads us to June when I’ll probably need a forklift to get me to and fro.

I know I can’t focus more than two weeks ahead so I’m trying to figure out what to do about Easter and getting the house (at least the visible parts) guest friendly.
On a side note: my mother called me twice to ask me if I wanted a pork loin to cook for Easter. I know my mom means well but a menu for Easter is the last thing on my mind. We may very well have Easter pizza.

I guess in short, I’m feeling pressure, physically on my bladder and mentally in my head. I know it’s probably self-generated and fueled by my emotional state. I’m guessing this is only the beginning. If you need me, I’ll be in my happy place.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Does this belly make me look fat?

How many people take pregnancy portraits? I understand the reasoning but is it something I’m going to regret if I don’t do it?

I’m referring to the portraits people get professionally done. They can be cheesy or really nice. There is a fine line. A friend swears I’ll totally regret it if I don’t schedule a professional sitting.

So far, I’m pretty happy with my weekly belly shots taken by my husband. I guess I can get a friend to take a few pictures of hubby and I but don’t know if it’s really something that needs to be done by a professional.

Still, I suppose a photo is more rational than paying $800 for a belly cast bronze bowl. I mean, where would I put it? At this point in my pregnancy, unless decoupage has some magical massage properties, I’m not sticking that cold stuff on my belly. Mind you, the next pregnancy hormone rush that passes through will change my tune; I’m sure. “Honey, it’s like spackling but on my belly. Get the putty knife.”

Don't be surprised if you come to pg's home and I serve you appetizers off my belly bowl or you see a life size mold hanging by my foyer.

Bumper babies or how did my mom do it without JPMA?


I know this makes no sense to most people but my belly is not starting to stick out in the front. For a while it was just a round watermelon. Now it’s like a basketball. I guess it will change day to day as Bean grows and moves around.

Oh, my brother felt Bean kick twice yesterday. That was incredible. There are so many things happening, I wish I was the Bionic Woman and had a camera in my eye to capture some of the expressions hubby and my brother and others have made.

My belly button is now turning pink and red and is tender every now and then. All I can do is oil my button and keep my pants from causing friction on it. I guess I’ll be doing the same with Baby Bean’s belly button.


I’m slowly building up my registry. The two biggest categories left are: nursery stuff & clothing. We’re pretty sure what crib we want and plan to order it this weekend. From there, I can pick out bedding and what else the books say are recommended.

As for the clothing, I figure that should be fun, compared to the hunt for safe bouncy seats, cribs and strollers. It’s my gift to myself for finally setting up the registry. I don’t think I need to put much on the registry anyhow. I just need to put some onesies and sleepsacks and burrito blankets. I think that’s a good start for a summer baby.

Oh, the one big thing I’m holding off on is bottles. Yes, I plan to breastfeed but I still need bottles for when I pump and when my husband assists with feedings. Everything I read and hear talks about potentially dangerous chemicals leaking from plastic bottles effecting hormones. I’m not sure how much evidence regarding this. There is just as many counter arguments as arguments for plastic bottles.

I’m leaning towards Dr. Brown bottles. I’ve been told that I may go through a bunch of bottles and nipples until Bean finds one she likes but I should start with one I prefer. Dr. Brown is releasing polypropylene bottles in the Spring which is a better alternative. I'm also looking at Born Free bottles.

I’m also wondering if I should try the plastic bag type bottles. I’ve got plenty of reading material before I make my decision.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

I fell asleep with my laptop on my belly. Did I irradiate my baby?


I’ve officially moved my keyboard closer to the edge of my desk so I can do ‘the lean’. Whenever I try to lean forward to type, Baby Bean does a little left/right jab. At this rate, by the time I hit 8 months, I’ll have the keyboard on my belly.

You’re going to laugh at me but I also have my recycling bin turned upside down so I can prop my legs up throughout the day. It’s under the table so only housekeeping knows but I’m trying to reduce edema as much as possible.

I haven’t seen it more than once, and that was due to me wearing my sling back heels on a day I knew I was going to be walking the equivalent of a 5K race. I know. I know. Vanity will only get me into trouble.

Still, I think it’s important to watch my salt intake and keep my limbs elevated lest I desire to look like Violet when she turned into a blueberry in Willy Wonka.
My Cheerios with banana and cold milk cravings are subsiding. Of course, this happens after I buy the gigantic tub size Cheerios. Actually, I’m still enjoying Cheerios just not with milk and bananas.

I’m moving towards oranges now. Oranges and Orange Juice with Seltzer seem to appease me. I think the garlic phase is going too but after that dizzy, nauseous, I’m-going-to-be-sick period, I’ve decided to play it safe and avoid garlic until after the pregnancy and/or breastfeeding.

Yup, I’ve made up my mind; I’m going to try breastfeeding. I’m not sure how long I’ll do it but I’m going to try. The positives outweigh the negatives. Of course my mom, I love her to death, continues to put the fear of Jesus in me but telling me she believes I will not be able to give my child the nourishment she needs. She means this out of love folks. In Chinese, parents show there love by being critical and thinking the worst. I’ve added this to the list that includes:

-I’m getting too big too quickly.
-I’m going to get stretch marks. (A fib now and then is warranted, mom.)
-I’m going to need a belly sling.
-My bikini maternity underwear and the low rise maternity pants I bought are going to constrict my baby.

Of course, I dispel my mom’s well-meaning comments but then rush to the nearest computer to Google everything about it.

After speaking to my doc and to several moms I’ve been told that although a few people have feeding issues, many are due to lack of nutrition and time constraints.
The general rule is the body produces what your body needs. It’s supply and demand. If I don’t pump or feed regularly, my body will start to dry the wells.

I’ll be honest, I really prefer to go to the doctor by myself or with my husband but my mom has been so desperate to go with me, I agreed to let her go to my next exam when I will have my GCT performed. The reason I’m reluctant to bring my mom is that my mom has caused me to worry so much with some of her statements, I’m afraid she’ll bring something else up at the docs office I didn’t think about. It's probably in my head but she has a knack for bringing things up I would never think would be an issue. It could be as simple as, “Doctor, why does her stomach look like the shape of an olive.” To “Honey, I don’t like your doctor’s sense of style. Navy slacks with a green pullover sweater is a no-no.”

I don’t know what special powers moms get over their kids but the silliest statements can have so much more credence coming from your parental figure. The next thing you know, I’m sitting in my car driving home questioning my doctor’s choice of clothing. I suppose my daughter can look forward to my crazy statements as well.

My husband knows this and tries to remind me to take things in perspective. This is normally hard to do but add my pregnancy brain and it’s even that much more harder.

I have made a decision that I only want my husband in the delivery room. My mom and my MIL, however thoughtful and loving they may be, only cause my blood pressure to rise. I’m not even concerned about my goods being on display for the world. I just don’t need to have me or my husband keep our moms in check.

I know some people have written birth plans but I’m leaning away from this. For the most part, my doc and I are on the same page. As long as my husband knows what I want and can be my body guard with family and other outside influences, I should be fine.

I’m probably being unrealistic but I really want those first moments to be with my husband, child and me. I generally don’t keep things from people and are usually open but this is something I want to keep between us, the family.

Call me over-protective. I know as soon as this baby is born, she’s shared with the world and I just want a few moments with her, alone. Hospital staff don’t count.

Note: Friends have already told me that I say this now but when it’s 2am and she’s not sleeping and she’s crying and fussing, I’m going to want everyone from my neighbor to the national coast guard to come to my aid. I know I’m romanticizing motherhood, especially in the early stages but give me a break. I just mustered up the strength to read the chapter on active labor and absorbed it without getting too neurotic and paranoid about what happens to my pelvis and other parts.

Monday, March 03, 2008

03.03.03 at 3:30


Seems like it’s hard these days to not go a day without talking about baby girl.
Today, I am making an extra effort as today is our 5th wedding anniversary. I’m planning a nice quiet steak dinner at home. We’re not party people so this will suit us fine. I just need to pick up some potatoes on my way home.

We were talking about how we can tell our daughter later on in life how we both met in 1995, dated in 1996, engaged in 2001, married in 2003 and started a family in 2007. Yes, the point is, there was no rushing and we made it a point to get to know each other and do a few ‘me’ things before we dedicated ourselves to family life.

I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I have had plenty of friends who were married within 2 years of meeting each other and started a family within 3-4 years. For us, there was too much work and personal stuff we each wanted to do before we started our next chapters together. To each his/her own but there has to be mutual agreement or dedication and that’s the point we want a children to learn.

On Valentine’s Day I bought hubby a card from me and the baby. Since this is a wedding anniversary, I’m focusing on just us. The fifth year is traditionally wood and silverware but I couldn’t think of anything anniversary worthy for my guy so I am playing off of silver for his gift. I’ll tell you later what it is.

All in all, I feel very lucky and blessed to have what I have. Not many people can say that they are happy and with my hubby and with all the craziness of work and life, I’m just glad I’m going through this crazy life with someone as supportive as hubby.

UPDATE: Ok, here it is. I couldn't figure out something wooden or a silverware my husband would appreciate so I played on silver and got him this:

It's the 2003 American Eagle Coin. He asked me if it would be ok to purchase a newspaper with it. I suggested to stick with quarters.

Anniversary dinner was great and we both spent the night relaxing and cuddling, with the Snoogle, of course. Yes, I gave him a peace of it to share. Like the fuddy duddies that we are we both fell asleep cuddled up to the Snoogle. I'm telling you, this thing doesn't just have cotton poly fill in it. The Snoogle has magical properties that help you sleep. I hope the Boppy everyone tells me is a must for babies has just as much magical properties for breastfeeding and what not.