Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I know it's a fictional show and he's a fictional character but if you saw last night's episode you'd understand.

Dear President Logan:

Last night’s episode was a classic example of your inability to make a damn decision.

For gosh sakes, you are the President of the United States; make a bloody decision. Heck, your wife’s life depends on it. You constantly resign yourself to what other’s tell you. Grow a spine and stick up for your gut instincts. You’ve truly explained the phrase, gutless wonder, to me.

I hope the elected President Keeler wakes up from the coma and reclaims his presidency. He wasn’t a President Palmer but anyone sure beats you.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My favorite line of the night: "The President is at a loss for words." -- Mike Novak

Oh and I've decided that Julian Sands is incapable of any accent. He's played many a foreign character but always has that creepy I'm-a-brooding-male-who-will-one-day-kill-you voice.

Rudy. Rudy. Rudy. If you didn’t have that baby fat, I’m sure we’d see your blood vessels popping consecutively. I haven’t seen CTU band together on a decision in the last 5 seasons. Thanks for giving the team something to rally together on. “Viva La Resistance!”

Curtis. You did well. Sure, it would have been easy to retain the power you wanted since Erin took time out to deal with Maya’s suicide but we both know cleaning up Rudy’s poop wasn’t the best way to gain the directorship.

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"Life's not worth a damn till you can say, Hey world, I am what I am." And I'm not crazy.

Jon brought up something in his comment on my last entry. Feelings. Even though it’s a business, there are a lot of touchy feely considerations when making decisions. A lot of times, a decision is reached not based on facts and logic. A lot of times, decisions are made to illicit perceptions from others. If we do ‘A’, we’ll be seen as a well-oiled organization. Forget that we don’t have the resources to pull it off. We’ll look like forward thinkers.

Enough with work; I’ve have a hectic schedule as is. Work should not be my topic of my 10 minute ramble.

I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m not a group social type of person. I’m ok when it comes to short term commitments but long term socials aren’t fun for me. Long Term = +24 hours

I have to force myself to attend these functions for work so it’s very difficult for me to allow these large shindigs into my personal life.

I think it comes from my upbringing. I’ve always felt like the odd man out in every function. I looked different. My family didn’t have the neighborhood associations my classmate’s families had. My parents didn’t belong to PTA or Mother’s club and Father’s club. My homelife wasn’t like everyone else’s homelife. My grandparents raised me. I was too young and too ‘American’ for my elders. I was too young for my older cousins but too old for my younger cousins.

Looking back, I’ve never felt bad about it or sulked or brooded. I embraced my independence and enjoyed my freedoms. Today, I feel like I belong more to the everyday rat race but I think I’ll always feel a bit out of place. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing. It’s just the way it is.

I feel like it’s more apparent when I’m with my extended family. I’m sure most of it’s in my head but I feel more out of place next to my extended family than I do with strangers. I’m not sure why I constantly feel disconnected.

I love my family dearly. They drive me crazy and I drive them crazy but that’s cool. I just think there should be more of a comfort level with family than with strangers. Do I feel more vulnerable with my cousins? Why? It’s not like they know me, know me. I seem them once or twice a year. Sometimes I don’t see them at all for years at a time.

If it’s to protect myself, why don’t I feel even more vulnerable with my brother, my husband and my friends? They know more about me than anyone else.

Is it because there is a forced element? Is it because the initial commonality is not an interest but DNA? What am I protecting myself from? What is it that my psyche fears? Why must I also keep a distance from everyone and why aren’t I like that with others?

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Friday, February 24, 2006

Stop the World. I Want to Get Off.

“Most U.S. workers say they feel rushed on the job, but they are getting less accomplished than a decade ago, according to newly released research.”

UK Reuters reports that Americans are working more but less is being accomplished.

Boy howdy can I relate. Every week I ask myself, how did my parents do it? How did people hold standard 9 to 5 jobs and still feel productive?

A shortened week meant meetings from 7am to 7pm the last three days. As many know, back to back meetings = less time to work on the stuff you need to do in the first place. Back to back meetings = more work to add to the work you didn’t get to do because of the meeting in the first place. Back to back meetings = an increase in emails, phone messages and memos to follow up on. It’s a never-ending cycle.

The article sites technology as the culprit. What was supposed to make our life more efficient and productive has given us nasty side effects. Being connected means the standard 9 to 5 is non existent in my world.

Downsizing, attrition, lack of leadership and low morale/loyalty has also compounded our multi-tasking lifestyles. The line between homelife and worklife sometimes is blurred because you can receive a text from your boss while you’re on the toilet, picnicking with your kids or even traveling to visit family out of state.

So how do you deal? How do you advance your career while maintaining your own personal identity, homelife and sanity?

I’ve gotten better. Friends can attest to this. I used to work late hours, come home and work until I passed out. Now I work on average 9-10 hours/day. When I’m home, I try to focus on home and/or me. I try to avoid bringing work home and I’ve nearly stopped checking my work email and voice emails when I’m out of the office.

But Pantrygirl, aren’t you buying a mobile device to help you keep connected at work? Yes, I’m getting a Treos but I do use it for personal stuff too. Right now, my pda is set to only display personal tasks while my work pc shows my work tasks.

Sorry, I was just interrupted by this guy who looks like an older and skinner Pat Kiernan. He was walking with the department chair and he was laughing at something she said. His laugh was not a regular laugh. It was a chesty laugh. It wasn’t as comforting and giggle-inducing as a belly laugh. It was more irritating and brow crinkling.

Anyway back to Americans and our obsession with work. I’ve always wondered why we don’t take after our European brethren and have siestas or extended holidays. Clearly we need it. Everyone that surrounds me seems to be as swept up in the current as I am. Today, in order to catch up, I had to block time in my calendar with a dummy appointment to catch up on emails and memo reading.

Are we afraid we’ll stop being productive if we give each other a sabbatical? Honestly, I think many of us would feel more refreshed and invigorated. I’m not talking about these company mandated retreats. I’m not talking about ‘Fun Days’. I’m not against morale boosting and team building workshops but their still work related.

I’ll admit that I’ve been stuck in my eat lunch at my desk routine. I eat my lunch while reading mail, writing a letter or even during a web-conference. I know it’s bad for me. I know I’m only hermitting myself even more into my ‘cubicle’. I’m afraid if I leave my desk I’ll come back to more to-dos than I left.
Change is difficult yet I know it would be so much better for me to take an hour and half to decompress and see the outside. I know because at least once a week, I force myself to have a personal lunch with colleagues. Come hell or high water, I go out to lunch once a week. I always come back happier, less stressed and refreshed. No, it wasn't because it was a liquid lunch. I find I’m able to focus more on a project afterwards.

So why don’t I do it more often? Time doesn’t always permit me and I still have a fear things will pile up even more.
Ellen Wurfhorst’s article quotes John Challenger, CEO for a consultant firm, "We never concentrate on one task anymore. You take a little chip out of it, and then you're on to the next thing.”

That sums up my feelings in a nutshell. Sure as a project manager, my job is to handle many tasks within a project. Sometimes I’m juggling multiple projects. I should be used to it. Well, it gets worse and worse every project I start.
Why? Mini-tasks have slowly grown into these unnecessarily overly complicated tasks. I find myself congratulating myself for being able to schedule a meeting. I’m not talking about actually having the meeting and it being a productive meeting with an outcome. I’m talking about just being able to find a space available, coordinate everyone’s schedules and get the resources necessary booked. Forget about even preparing the agenda and any documentation or slides. I got people to agree to meet.

If I feel harried now while I’m still fairly young how am I going to feel when I’m near retirement and things run twice as fast as they are now? I’m scared to jump off my surfboard. I’m afraid I’ll crash and burn but if work continues like this, I may very well crash and burn and it won’t be an option.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Did Julian Sands get work done or does he always look young and creepy?

I’ve decided the writers on ‘24’ and ‘House’ are just bitter heterosexual males who have been scorned by women. Every episode includes a woman that has lied, cheated or manipulated the situation. Still I watch.

On ‘24’:

FLOTUS is really putting a lot on her marriage and her relationship with her wimpy husband. Honey, the man was willing to lock you in the loony bin. Don’t drag Aaron into this. Let him retire into a quiet mundane life. Don’t let him be a casualty.

Complete control is a dangerous illusion, Rudy. Now that you’ve locked daddy in the clink, you’re really in for it.

Is Black Jack (Curtis) the stand in for torture for the real Jack? Oh well, just be glad Jack just choked you and didn’t chop your hand off.

On ‘House’:

“She’s a man, baby!”

Ok, sleeping with your daughter is really sick. Finding out that she’s a guy is sicker. Finding out she uses her sex to get what she wants and forced Daddy to sleep with her is horrific.

That family is going to counseling for a very long time.

My favorite line was blunt and to the point, “You’ll be fine, right after we cut your balls off.”

Oh, I’m new to ‘House’ so can someone fill me in on what happened to Dr. House’s thigh muscle and what type of degenerative disease it was?

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Why watch a bi-annual event when there is a marathon of 'Justice' television?

Yesterday, P-man was provoked into biting Lrudlrick in the face. Mind you, Lrudlrick at the time was pretending to eat P-man’s paw. This wouldn’t have been an issue except Lrudlrick’s face was within face level of P-man and he wasn’t taking P-man’s growls as warning signs. Oh and a chicken roll was somehow in the picture. Long story short, P-man nipped Lrudlrick in the face.

Both are ok. Nothing major, thankfully. Lrudlrick refused to snip a piece of the aloe plant so he’s carrying around vitamin E to periodically dab the little cut to avoid a scar. I doubt Lrudlrick will ever pretend to eat a dog’s paw ever again. Likewise, after the scolding P-man received, he’ll never do that again. He’s never been like that with me. He knows to ‘let go’ and gently handle toys with me when we’re playing tug-of-war. I guess the chicken roll, the mocking and Lrudlrick’s tendency to rough house got the better of him. P-man spent most of the morning in the dining room, waiting for some sign of forgiveness from Lrudlrick. When he finally was able to inch his way to sit near Lrudlrick, he put his paws on Lrudlrick’s arm and licked it. “Oh my god, now he’s tasting me!”

Because of the early morning incident, Lrudlrick and I spent the rest of the day at home doing chores and essentially hiding out. Plus, I had reading to do for work that I procrastinated on. That’s why we left the ‘Law and Order’ marathon on. I’ve decided that for every 10 episodes of L&O you have seen, there is 1 that you haven’t.

For a brief moment we watched an episode of ‘Miami Vice’. I remember when we thought the images on ‘Miami Vice’ were technologically superior. ‘Miami Vice’ was the ‘CSI: Miami’ of the 80’s. My favorite scene was Tubbs dancing with a girl at a club. I’m not sure it if was dancing or just side shifting but he did do a lot of upper body shimming. I heard that Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx are starring in a movie version of ‘Miami Vice’. I wonder if they’ll wear the same pastel shirts and do the shimmy dance.

Sure we could have watched the Olympic coverage but I’m going to be honest; so far the only thing entertaining in this year’s winter Olympics are the accidents. I know I’m heading to purgatory because Apollo’s brazen attempt and the snowboarders showboating were the most entertaining events so far for me. I tried watching curling. I lost the remote control in the folds of our couch and I was too lazy to search for it.
Ok, I will admit, it’s kind of exciting. I found myself engrossed. I got excited when the disks bounced the other disks out of the target. I’m surprised Target hasn’t become the official sponsor of curling. After a 15 minutes though, the excitement died. Then I tried watching the end of the bi-athlon competition, prolonged periods of time out in the wilderness, skiing with an occasional pause to shoot targets. It was interesting to watch until I got to the last leg of the race. I don’t get it. The portion I watched involved a group of men skiing a figure 8 pattern only to pause at the center to shoot 5-6 targets. I don’t get it. Doesn’t it get boring skiing the same figure 8 patterns? Don’t they find themselves wanting to shove the other guy over? It’s slightly sadistic to force these obviously physically tired men/women to circle the same never-ending path until they are too exhausted to aim properly.

If I had to compete in a sport in the Winter Olympics, it would probably be curling. I’d like to be the yeller. I’m not sure what the job entails aside from yelling at the iron doodad but I’m pretty sure the physical qualifications are met. I’d like to be a ski jumper but I’d certainly bust my butt something awful on the dismount. Images of femurs protruding and bones cracking would certainly be a reality.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Out of the old and in with the new...

Thanks for the advice and congrats on the iPod, folks. I spent all evening programming it. Like most of you, I loaded The Killers right away. My first purchases were singles from Weezer and Franz Ferdinand. I’m still trying to figure out how to organize everything. My OCD is pumped. So far, I’ve categorized my music into sub genres. Nothing seems pure. I have Rock/Pop, Rock/Classic, Rock/Folk and it continues all the way down from Funk to Rap. Which begs me to ask, what’s the difference between Hip Hop and Rap? Honestly, isn’t it the same? I finally decided that Jay Z was Hip-Hop and Tribe Called Quest was Rap/Jazz.

Lrudlrick is now complaining his iPod is too big. I offered to swap but I think he just wants an excuse for a new toy. Mork saw his first glimpse of the outside today. It was actually nice to have a soundtrack for the morning that wasn’t programmed by my head. Usually my morning soundtracks contain snippets of songs that pop out from the crevices of my brain. Today, Mork provided some Beatles, Blackbyrds, Ella and De La Soul. Very nice. Very nice.

I also like the music quiz that you can play. I have my own Name That Tune in my pocket.

I am afraid of it may break though. It’s so thin and tiny. I’m being very ginger with it. I’m also on my way to consolidating all my electronic gizmos. My cell phone contract ends on March 2nd so I’ve decided to get one of those new fangled all-in-one doodads. If all goes well, this will be my new phone/PDA/camera:


I’m not sure how much I’ll like it. The buttons and the chunkiness are my biggest gripes but everyone in my office uses it and loves it. I figure by the time I hit 40, there should be an all in one implantable chip freeing my purse for more important things like lotion and tic tacs.

An oddball in 'The Odd Couple'

On Wednesday evening we went to see Neil Simon’s ‘The Odd Couple’ with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick. You can’t think Felix and Oscar without imaging Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon (and for some Art Carney). Still, we felt we should check it out.

My biggest apprehension was that Nathan Lane would be too over the top for Oscar. Mr. Lane did a great job toning down his larger than life persona only occasionally allowing it to show. The rest of the cast, including Mike Starr and Rob Bartlett, were equally as funny and made a great supporting cast. What got to me and I wasn’t the only one was Mr. Broderick’s Felix. I felt I was watching a caricature throughout the entire play. He was a toned down version of Ed Grimmly.

pg:“Why is he doing that to his voice?”
L: “I have no idea. It’s a bit distracting.”

What makes The Odd Couple work is the characters are everyday people. As in all friendships, we all have quirks we can’t stand about each other but there’s that bond of friendship that keeps us together. Mr. Broderick’s Felix wasn’t an everyday person. He was a musical version of Felix, a glossy image. In a musical, singing punctuates the drama. In a play, you are who you are. There is no singing soliloquy to express your fears, your desires, and your emotions.

Maybe it was an off night. Maybe his comedic timing was slightly off. By intermission, a few patrons were whispering the same sentiments. Still, The Odd Couple is a great play and it was nice to see the revival on Broadway. The set design was lovely. During the first scene, the apartment was in such disarray, I felt compelled to get up and start cleaning Oscar’s desk and straighten his blinds.

The theatre is small enough that every seat is a good seat although the seating is quite cramped. Many in the audience, as you can guess, are veterans to The Odd Couple and anticipate the punch lines. I was not totally faultless in this respect, either.

There is a brief extension of its run but I’m not sure of the ticket availability. All in all it was wonderful to see a great play revived on stage. If you like Neil Simon’s work, check it out just don’t expect Matthau and Lemmon.

You want me to what? The last time I shopped for a bra with my mother, I was 12.

My MIL has always told me that she’s finally got a daughter. I didn’t know she meant that literally until she called me the other day to ask me to help her find a bra.

Apparently, the shops in her rural town don’t provide an adequate selection. She could drive to the nearest city but she doesn’t like to drive in inclement weather. Yes, she lives near Rochester. Yes, there is snow on the ground from October through March.

So instead, she’d prefer to order a bra via mail order catalog. She has asked me to send her catalogs so she can peruse them.

I asked her what type of bra she prefers. This seemed logical. If I know what she likes, brand or type, I can save myself the embarrassment of sending the wrong type of catalog. “I don’t know. That’s why I want to browse a catalog or two.”

I’m not a prude and I’m not innocent enough to think that my MIL doesn’t have a libido or desire to be sexually attractive. I just don’t want to be the person sending her what a 9 year old boy would consider as ‘naughty’ pics. Those who know where my MIL lives and what she does will find this twice as amusing.

I just don’t want to be the one sending her salacious catalogs from Fredrick’s, Victoria or Agent Provocateur. Likewise, I don’t want to insult her by sending her an ad from the coupon section for those boulder holders with pockets to hold your keys and lipstick. I honestly don’t know if there is such a bra but I have seen bras advertised in the weekly coupon section of the newspaper.

So I did what any woman who is asked by her mother-in-law for assistance would do; I asked my husband to which my husband immediately shut his eyes, huddled into the fetal position and asked me to not speak of such things again.

Last night after some hemming and hawing, I decided to send her a catalog from Bra Smyth. They have a wide selection and a New York City store on Madison and 73rd so on the rare occasions she does come down here, she can go to an actual store to be fitted and altered, if necessary.

Does anyone else have a good suggestion for bra catalog to send to a mother-in-law?

Embarrassment


Courtesy of Comedy Central & The Daily Show with Jon Stewart


Ok. I’ll be the first to admit that I laughed when I heard about the Cheney incident. Ok, I even ran out of my apartment building and ran to the elevator banks to tell my husband.

I know this is serious and a 78 year old man being shot/peppered/sprayed (however, you decide to call it) is not a laughing matter but I couldn’t help but laugh because, well, I’m just embarrassed. As an American, I’m embarrassed not only of the incident but also of the lack of respect we received regarding the reporting of said incident.

Maybe I watch too many conspiracy movies and shows. Maybe I’m just a disenchanted, cynical, sarcastic New Yorker.

If they just came out and said, listen, an accident happened. Thankfully it wasn’t as worse as it was and we’ll continue to keep you posted. If they just came out point blank, it wouldn’t have escalated into this circus played out in every newspaper, late night talk show, fake news show and 24 hour news channel.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Time Waster #64: Fun Facts about your Birthdate

Amy sent this to me. If you want to know when you may have been conceived check it out. As for where, ask your parents, if you dare.

Fun fact about my age:
"Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.47827788649706 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)"

Next on my list to check out-----Flyball and Go To Ground competitions

Lrudlrick and I attended the last day of the Westminster Dog Show. Many of you know that I’m a huge proponent for the adoption of shelter and animal rescue dogs so our attendance may shock you. Because I myself prefer to spring pooches out of dog jail doesn’t mean I don’t’ appreciate the pure bred brethren. Besides I wanted to check off Westminster from my list of NY annual events to attend.

Figuring dragging Lrudlrick around to a dog show for more than a day would be too much for him, I purchased a day ticket to give us a taste of the ‘Hi-Life’ doggie style. Attending the dog show was actually a lot of fun. First, during the Best of Bred competitions, you can be on the floor to view the judging. The floor is transformed into smaller rings. You can meander through the aisles to check out each area. Mind you, it does get crowded and I highly suggest wearing layers because the heat can make you feel like you’re wearing 3 layers of fur.

I strongly suggest that you do spend time on the floor versus sitting in the audience. Although crowded, no one ever pushes and unlike the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade you will find pockets to slide into to get a great view. The added bonus is mingling and eavesdropping on conversations from breeders and owners. If you go, I suggest you print out the judging schedule and map out which BoBs you want to check out and get there early.

The next best thing about the WDS is that you are allowed to go to the benching areas to check out the dogs. You can talk to the handlers and care givers as well as pet the pooches. Now if you thought the benching areas would be as presentable as the benching areas in Christopher Guest’s Best in Show, you’re wrong. Sure, comparing the actual backstage to a movie set is bound to disappoint but that was the only reference I had folks.

First there is the smell. Sure these pooches are pampered but as Taro Gomi has thoughtfully taught our children, Everyone Poops. So periodically throughout the benching area there are areas where large walk in boxes of sawdust are available for dogs to do their business.

The smell is less like zoo or cat litter box. I can only say that I couldn’t help but squinch whenever walking by these areas. Apparently, these pooches have a lot to say to each other. I do want to point out I found it disturbing that the American Handlers Association’s kiosk was stationed within 3 feet of the larger potty pen areas. 3 well dressed men and women sat there manning their kiosks with stoic faces. If this was my job, I’m not sure I could have mustered the strength to sit there and endure the pungent aroma for the entire duration of the show.

Once you past the pee pens, you’re left with kiosks on the outer perimeter of the benching area, the prepping stations and the actual cubbies where the pooches wait. There was a plethora of merchandise kiosks that sold jewelry. I never knew there was such a large market for jewelry for not only humans but also canines. Another kiosk also sold those AKC approved dog wrist watches where the image of your favorite breed displays the time. It’s half past my Jack Russell’s tail.

Pedigree’s kiosk was by far the largest and the most crowded because of their goodie bags. Their goodie bags contained sample packs of their kibble. Since our pooches have hit senior status and require kibble chocked full of Glucosamine goodness, we didn’t take our goodie bag and left it for someone else to have.

The grooming stations are just like the stations you see at Petco except these dogs are so immune to it, they enjoy the poking and prodding. The benching stations can become crowded but each aisle is clearly marked overhead like a supermarket aisle. Each breed is kept together. Most of the cubbies are packed with crates, treats, fans and goodies for the pooches. Some dogs had blankets to cover them from view which was a little disappointing. Others had full glossy photo displays of the various awards or lineage.

What was surprising was the amount of food clearly out and available to most pooches. Unlike supermodels, these pooches eat and so do their handlers. A few steps away from the Dachshund benching area, a MSG kiosk was selling hot dogs. Somehow, this just didn’t seem right to me.

Overall, everyone from the attendees to the owners, handlers and breeders were friendly and nice. Lrudlrick does point out that although the Westminster Dog Show is technically a men’s club, the fans and participants are mainly women, middle aged women of society.

The amount of old money bling this one elderly woman wore was so fascinating, I couldn’t help but stare at her as she held a conversation with her handler. It made me feel a little shabby un-chic in my Gap turtle neck and snow boots. Still, if you go, dress for comfort. You will be mingling a lot in a crowded, warm environment.

We returned later in the evening for Best in Group and Show a little shabbier chic, even though we were nearly seated by the Owners box. To give you an idea of how high we were, if you watched the show on USA, the camera they used for the overhead shot was one chair away from me. Lrudlrick kept praying it would hit us.

If you go to Best in Show and you purchase the General Admission seats, bring your binoculars. We couldn’t get a nice shot from where we sat so check out the AP photos or check out ThePoop.com. However, I will share with you two of our photos.



This is the Weimarner (second from the right) that I picked to be Best of Breed. Lrudlrick kept screaming for ‘his busy bee’.



This is Rufus, the Best in Show and my favorite in personality amongst the finalists. I’m not a bull terrier fan but his personality was the best by far.


By attending the Westminster Dog Show, I learned the judging is all subjective and of the moment. A pooch just like a Broadway actor has his good nights and bad nights. Lrudlrick and I loved Shaka, the Rottweiler, the first night of competition but on the second night he seemed a bit distracted.

In addition, I learned that there are some real dirty jobs a handler must do. Mike Rowe should spend a day with them. Apparently, pocketing kibble in your mouth during the showing of the dog is common practice amongst seasoned professionals. I don’t know about you but I can’t pocket liver in my mouth for myself let alone for a dog. Also, dogs that don’t expel prior to show are ‘coerced’ by means that will only be described here as intrusive.

If you thought hockey fans were rowdy, you should check out Dog show fans. The screams and hollering during the show are incredible. I was surprised the wave or an air horn wasn’t blasted during the game. One group of Golden Retriever fans was so exuberant, I was waiting for them to take their tops off and display painted bellies spelling ‘Goldie’.

I definitely suggest you check it out next year. Wear comfortable clothes. Pack drinks and munchies in your backpack. Bring your binoculars and zoom lens camera. See how well you fair with the judges opinions.

Yet with all these gadgets notice the big red notepad I still walk around with.

Happy day after chocolate high, everyone! I hope everyone got lucky.

I’m not a huge Valentine’s Day fan. I buy a card and a small gift and that’s the extent of effort I put out. Then again, I’m a girl so the expectation for an extravagant to do is low. I know this is stereotypical and wrong but one cannot deny the fact that the onus to produce something romantic ong V-day lies with the Y chromosome set.

For me, my anniversary holds much more weight in the romance area than a retail industry holiday. Still every year, I go out to Hallmark and peruse the aisles of pink and red sappy, sentimental and humorous cards hunting for the perfect expression of love that a stranger can write to my love.

This year as in most years I chose a humorous card. It was a cereal box card, a 3 dimensional card that is made to look like a cereal box. It had a Happy Tree Friend like character on the cover and it was called Smoochies. I filled it with homemade chocolate raspberry truffles and presented it to him with a huge steak, eggs and hash brown breakfast.

Lrudlrick presented me with a cute card, a reference book on cakes and pies and an iPod Nano. Yes, folks, Ms. Techno Geek has now entered into the iPod owners’ association. Out of all the new toys and gadgets out there, the iPod was one of those items I could have skipped the bandwagon on. It’s not that I dislike them. I’ve listened to my husbands and find them entertaining. It’s not that I dislike Apple. I have nothing against Apple, U2 and Steve Jobs. I just never had a need for one. Sure an iPod on the train would be nice and would aid in the New York City subway tradition of pretending the person leaning against you doesn’t exist but I’ve done well with reading my newspapers, books and magazines. I’d say it would be great at the gym but I haven’t stepped into a gym since college.

I suppose the real reason I never thought of purchasing one was gadget overload. If you took a gander at the inside of my purse, you’d see that I have so much electronic crap in there, it’s scary. To prove this, I will now take a picture of the inside of my purse and show you.



Here is my purse with the standard contents, except for the camera I used to take this photo. The electronic contents include: A flash drive with an extra SD card, a flashlight (you never know when you’ll need it), my cell phone, my pda and my camera which isn’t pictured. On the days I need a cable to connect one of these bad boys to my non-Blue Tooth enabled work pc, I have a mish mash of cables I carry in my work bag which has on more than one occasion lent to some strange glances from fellow commuters.

Now you can understand why I didn’t jump on the iPod bandwagon. Yet when I unwrapped my present I was like a kid who just unwrapped her first bike. I was jumping up and down like a school girl and began comparing it to my business card holder. Did you know it’s smaller than an average business card holder?

I haven’t programmed it yet but I plan to tonight. I’ve named it Mork and am compiling a list in my head of what songs to load first. What was the first set list you loaded onto your iPod?

Monday, February 13, 2006

What ever happened to my Grandmom's big box of buttons?

I could start off with some snow storm story but I won’t because I really don’t have one. On Saturday, I picked up my rations and prepared to hunker down Sunday.

Aside from church, Lrudlrick and I spent most of the day indoors enjoying the tranquility that falls upon New York City when a snow storm hits.

Sure there were the occasional walks with the dogs. The poor pooches desperately searched for the curb but finally relented and did their business on the lowest snow bank. P-man, who is approximately 30” tall struggled to see past the giant banks of snow and was happy to settle back into the toasty apartment.

I’ll be honest; I thought about going to the park and taking gorgeous winter landscapes. I thought about fighting the white out to steal some quiet time with me and nature but the appeal of a simmering pot of beef stew was too much. I spent the day making stew.

I’m a huge fan of one pot meals. Stews and soups have always been a big part of my culinary experience. My grandmother was a big soup fan. Every day we had soup. To this day, I try to have a bowl of soup every day, even if I don’t have time to make it from scratch.

At work, my lunch usually consists of soup and some crusty bread. There are a few shops by my job that make homemade soups that I frequent. There selection constantly rotates which ensures I never have the same soup twice in a week. I’ve always wondered what their kitchen must look like with so many varieties of soup in rotation. Lately, it has become so popular to have soup, one of the workers is constantly returning from their kitchen with a fresh pot of soup to replenish the dwindling supply.

I picture stoves with numerous pots of boiling goodness, cooks dicing vegetables and a little old Grandma ordering the towering cooks around.

My grandmother taught me how to make a traditional Chinese dumpling soup once. It was a lot of fun standing on my step stool stirring the pot while Grandma slowly dumped in the dumplings. It was the best tasting dumpling soup I’ve ever had, partly because I felt like I had a hand in making it with her. I remember her telling me that she didn’t like the soup. She said the dumplings stuck to her dentures but Grandpa loved the soup and the least she could do for him was make his favorite soup on occasion. As Grandpa and I slurped our soup, Grandma would sit there with her hot tea and a cigarette and tell us to finish it all because leftovers wouldn’t be as tasty.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my Grandparents lately. Just this morning, I recalled how Grandpa would walk me to school every morning. I couldn’t recall if we kissed before we said goodbye but I remember running to the red steps and turning to wave at him before I went inside.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back to that time. Something about feeling my tiny hand inside my Grandpa’s hand was comforting. Sometimes we’d talk about everything. Sometimes we’d walk in silence.

On Saturday, Grandma and I would walk to the local library. Grandma would wait for me at the desk while I picked out books I wanted to check out. On the way home, we’d stop at the market to pick up bread and milk. That was the day tea tasted the best because the bread was freshly bought. When we’d get home, Grandpa would put away the groceries in his special way.

He would take the ham from the deli and slice it to the exact measurements of our Tupperware which happened to fit perfectly onto a slice of Pullman bread without overlap. He’d sneak me the leftover pieces and when Grandma wasn’t looking he’d have a few slices too. He’d pick the best pieces of bread and set them aside for afternoon lunch and then store the rest in the bread bin.

There is a lot of innocence in my relationship with my Grandparents but I guess that’s what makes that relationship so unique. Even when teen angst terrorized my relationship with my father and mother, my relationship with my Grandparents remained the same. When I was suffering from raging angst, a sit in my Grandma’s couch watching her knit put me at ease.

I wish I had a Grandma couch in my office. It doesn’t have to be a big couch but it should have a shimmery fabric with giant flowers all over it. Heavy plastic covering is optional. When things seem to be spinning out of control, I could take a time out on the couch. On the coffee table there’d be a TV Guide and an old 4 button remote control. There would also be some rock hard coffee candies permanently cemented onto the candy dish and a big box of buttons which I could sort through to pick the prettiest ones. Ten minutes on the Grandma couch would really do me a world of good right now.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Thoughts on the Grammy Awards Show

Were they pumping in drugs because everyone acted/looked stoned?

What was Stevie Wonder on?
What was Bono ranting about?
How old is Sly? He had that old man hunch thing going on. BTW, Sly, Billy Idol called. He wants his hair back.
Was walking out towards the end of his set planned? Found the reason at NYPost via Gawker.
Why does Fantasia think screaming equals singing and who was that guy she was singing with?
Finally, doesn't the Linkin Park guy know not to upstage a 'Beatle'?

Did anyone see the old man flinch during the opening of the Kanye West act? My brother nearly fell of the couch when he saw that.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Arrested Development Reminder...

Set your DVRs and VCRs folks.

Arrested Development's Two Hour (Season Finale/Series Finale?) is tomorrow (Friday 02.10) at 8pm EST.

Grab your juice boxes and enjoy!

Bottlenecked brain...

I’m going to be honest. I’m not feeling very productive today. In fact, today I’ve read the same article three times and I still have no clue what the conclusion is.

I think the problem is I have a backlog of strange thoughts that have been floating in my head all week. Most of them are completely ridiculous and irrelevant.

So to clear my brain ‘cache’ I’m throwing them out. Hopefully once I’m done, I’ll be able to finish reading my articles and return to my newly bought book.

1. If I slept in, would anyone really notice I wasn’t at work?
2. Now that I’ve stocked up on pantyhose, why haven’t I worn a skirt all week?
3. Aren’t half the songs nominated for a Grammy released prior to last year’s Grammy’s?
4. Show me the Monkey. HAHAHAHAHA I get it. Very cute.
5. I really am a geek. I spent 10 minutes flipping through a book I bought for work while Lrudlrick waited patiently for me to eat dinner.
6. Does the P-man know I can’t get up on time when he curls up next to me in bed?
7. If I wore wigs, would that allow me to sleep an extra half hour?
8. What do the Muslims storming the Danish embassy hope to achieve expressing their outrage with violent tactics? Someone needs to sit them down and make them listen to The Carpenter's 'Hurting Each Other'.
9. If George walked Astro on a treadmill, where did he do his business?
10. How did they do the Gorrilaz animation thing in the beginning of the Grammy’s?
11. Tomato Florentine is one of my favorite soups.
12. Did I make the right choice with my new cell phone?
13. If a week consists of 7 days, why does my husband have on average 9 shirts that need to be washed and pressed every week?
14. I used to get so excited about the Olympics? What happened?
15. What the heck was Bono saying during the Grammy’s?
16. Why do the words ‘cheddar’ and ‘fierce’ make me giggle?
17. If I fell asleep right now on my desk, would anyone notice?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I'm not saying to go out and eat a triple decker Whopper but don't deny yourself an occasional hamburger.

I’ve never been one to realize the amount of Cantonese I understand and can say. I guess all those years with my Grandparents have really engrained the language into me. Still, I’d love to learn more. I’m much better listening and comprehending than speaking. This is partly due to my misconception that I don’t know Cantonese. If I really applied myself I’m sure I’d converse more.

My MIL is one of those people that buy into the latest health fad. Her latest obsession is Dr. Weil. She has this notion that if a doctor writes a book that she reads, she gets an all access pass to his ‘practice’ and will schedule visits to his/her office. Last year it was some doctor who claimed to offer one session of physical therapy which you can continue to do at home.

I love her but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a hypochondriac. According to Lrudlrick, she’s always been this way. When full body scans were the latest ‘in’ thing, she scheduled herself for one in the hopes she could detect early onset of cancer or Parkinson’s. She recently had me buy an out of print Canadian cookbook for Diabetic patients in the hopes of preventing onset of diabetes. Yes, I know food is not the main culprit to diabetes. I even sent her a set of high end green teas to try when she read about the benefits of green tea and cholesterol. To my knowledge they are probably still in her cupboard.

So the latest NYTimes article, ‘Low Fat diets may have little or no reduction in risk for heart disease and cancer’, is going to be a shocker to her.

I’m not a medical professional but you don’t need to be one to realize that moderation assists your body to maintain stasis. The problem is everyone wants bigger and better. The more excessive something is the better. Your body is a strong and powerful conglomerate of systems. It’s stronger than you know.

Your body gives you clues. Your stomach tells you it’s time to refuel and time to stop refueling. Your brain tells you its sleepy time. Your nose tells you to move the hell away from the idling tractor trailer standing next to the bus stop. Your joints tell you when it’s time to start getting your butt back into exercise gear. Your stomach and throat warn you to decline the 7th shot of tequila. Heck, your brain tells you to breathe to help maintain this metropolis.

The trick is listening to your body and its needs. You shouldn’t deny yourself the pleasure of a piece of chocolate. Have it. Enjoy it just don’t eat the whole bag. Likewise, don’t make chocolate your primary source of sustenance.

That’s why I’m shocked that whole milk has been removed from the school menus. When I was a kid, I was forced to drink my half pint. It didn’t matter that it was warm and the only thing left in there was backwash, the nuns at my school would not let you go to recess without completing your milk. I’m not sure but have they also banned juice because juice is sugar. Oh wait, doesn’t Snapple have some type of agreement with NYC? Are they the official drink of public schools? So milk is good but Snapple isn’t? I love Snapple but I wouldn’t consider it nutritious.

I know they haven’t banned all milk but name a kid who prefers skim over whole? If you want a kid to eat right and make good food decisions, you need to provide for them healthy choices. Snapple doesn’t rank up there as the healthiest beverage.

On another note, does anyone have tips on making a meringue? I'm having wars with my egg whites. I just can't make them as fluffy as I'd hope.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Happiness is a Flash Frozen Yuzu Ice Cream



Guess where I went Friday? Yes, Mark Addlebran, the Chef de Cuisine at Morimoto’s was generous enough to assist us with grabbing a reservation. We misspoke in the last entry. Mark, karma is going to reward you! Thanks again!

To make it even more amazing, we secured a dining experience at the Omakase bar. Thank goodness my husband bought brand new socks Thursday! The menu was filled with heavenly dishes that each surpassed each other in taste and presentation.

But Pantrygirl, isn’t your husband notoriously finicky. How did you get him to go with you? Well, I didn’t have to prod him at all. The man was willing to open his mind for Morimoto. “It’s Morimoto. I have to try to be open-minded.” Thanks. Remember that when I make meringue this week. I don’t care if it’s fluffy looking, you’re going to try it.

To chronicle our dining experience, I tried futilely to photograph each dish. Unfortunately, my taste buds and stomach won the battle and pictures are not available. Before I could take a bloody photo, my chopsticks were already digging into the delicious dish. By the way, if you want to check out photos of some of Morimoto's dishes, check out Augieland. Thanks go to Augie for his tips and suggestions. Be on the lookout for more Morimoto entries as he continues his culinary excursions.

My husband ate everything, every last morsel of each dish. The only thing he felt wasn’t to his taste was one the last sushi items but he still ate it. I was quite impressed and happy he enjoyed himself.

His favorite dish was the very first dish, Cauliflower puree and consommĂ© gelee with caviar. He made the loudest ‘mmm’ sound. I thought I saw a few chefs chuckle. Standouts include the Hokkaido crab and the Buri-Daikon. The Buri-Daikon is comfort food at its best. I defy anyone to enjoy a bowl and tell me the world isn’t a better place.

Surprisingly, Lrudlrick felt full before I did. I could have gone on for more courses but my belly and my wallet realized it was time to go.

The lounge area was lovely and surprisingly cozy for the minimalist design. The sushi bar and the Omakase bar are definitely the seats to request.

There private rooms are in the front of the restaurant and provide a quieter dining experience. Note these rooms are the rooms you see through the windows.

If you stop by, feel free to ask any of the staff about the raw bar and the items that frequently change there. The staff has been highly trained on the menu as well as the architectural design. Everyone was extremely personable and willing to share their stories on being one of the chosen to work at Morimoto’s.

The ship is oiled and the ballet is pleasant to watch. Some of the chefs came from Morimoto’s Philly restaurant. Others are fresh and eager newbies. The concentration of the masters is thrilling to watch.

Jess gave us a tour of the restaurant and told us the lounge’s menu is completely different and worth a try. She also informed us a luncheon menu will probably be offered in the coming months. I guess I know where I’ll find Lrudlrick.

If you get a chance, I recommend you go and enjoy. If your experiences with Japanese food comprise of teriyaki or if you hate sushi or even if you are the finickiest eater in your family, go. Try. Enjoy. I promise you’ll leave with belly’s full and a grin on your face.

BTW, if you see our menu on Ebay, that’s because someone stole the first one that was written.

Friday, February 03, 2006

If I posted the memo in the bathroom, maybe more people would be wearing red today.

Today is National Wear Red Day, to bring awareness regarding the number 1 killer of US women. Oddly enough, I have not spotted any women or men in my new department wearing red other than myself.

Even on television, I did not see anyone aside from the Director of Olympus Fashion Week at Bryant Park wearing red.

Since marketing this event has clearly slowed down this year, I’m passing on the numbers to you.

Below are the goal numbers you should strive for (according to the AHA:

Factor Goal
Total Cholesterol Less than 200 mg/dL
LDL (“Bad”) Cholesterol LDL cholesterol goals vary.
• People who are at low risk for heart disease: <160 mg/dL
• People at intermediate risk for heart disease: <130 mg/dL
• People at high risk for heart disease including those who have heart disease or diabetes: <100 mg/dL (Some high-risk patients will have a goal of <70 mg/dL.)
HDL (“Good”) Cholesterol 50 mg/dL or higher
Triglycerides <150 mg/dL
Blood Pressure <120/80 mmHg
Fasting Glucose <100 mg/dL
Body Mass Index (BMI) <25 Kg/m²
Waist Circumference <35 inches
Exercise Minimum of 30 minutes most days, if not all days of the
week

No go out there and go for a walk during your lunch break and have a nice glass of red with your dinner tonight.

The one where I ramble on about the balance b/w worklife and personal life.

I guess, I may be a minority when it comes to workplace bathroom usage.

With the prevalence of wireless technologies keeping us connected to our bosses and our offices, is it possible to have a typical 9 to 5 worklife? I highly doubt it. I’m the biggest techno geek girl there is. I’ll love the cool gadgets and love to find alternate ways to use new technologies to enhance my everyday. That’s why I’m a technology project manager. This doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy shutting off my cell, pda and computer for awhile.

These sabbaticals recharge me and reinvigorate me. My worklife was much more hectic back when I worked in IT. There were days I’d work until 11pm then head home and work some more. The first thing I did when I woke up was log in and verify systems were up and running and overnight fires were put out.

My schedule is slightly more relaxed now but that doesn’t mean that my private time is all mine either. Take for example the time I took off between my old job and my new job. Even though I was technically, ‘unemployed’, I found myself checking my work email several times a day to ensure that the proper people were receiving the emails and responding timely.

There is an inherent responsibility to make sure everything is status quo. People are appalled when I tell them that vendors have called me on my cell phone, even during my wedding, to keep me abreast of data transmissions. I suppose that’s my life.

I’m not a high powered executive so I can only imagine what their lives are like. Seldom do I think this routine is out of the norm and unfair. It just is.

An old boss of mine once told me that separation of church and state is important. When she’s in Ireland, she doesn’t care if the network has blown up. It’s not her problem. Try all you will but her cell phone will not be answered. “People who let work seep into their private lives are sad individuals.”

I don’t consider myself sad and when it comes to my private time, I rarely talk about work. Is checking my email occasionally intruding on my private time? A little but I don’t think it’s so significant that my family and myself suffer for it. I only respond to an email if and only if it’s critical. Otherwise all other emails can wait until my return.

Next month I plan to purchase a smartphone. My purse is bursting with gadgets and if I can consolidate my camera, cell phone and pda into one device, I’m going to try. Will this be another assault on my private life? Not unless I let it. Sure I’ll have instant access to the internet and my company network via VPN but in all honesty, the internet will probably be used for address look up and movie showtimes.

I think my ex-boss misspoke. Everyone has responsibilities, personal and business. Your top priority is to ensure that your personal responsibilities are not encumbered by your professional. In the end, it’s not what you did but who you were. Don’t let life pass you by because a company needs their 3rd quarter projections to be higher than they truly are.

What about those who are self-employed and run their own business. My father was an OMD and most of his time was spent devoted to his practices. When he first started, my mother helped with the day to day operations so I rarely saw both. I know how your work is part of your personal life when you are self-employed. Your entire family, young and old, pitches in and sacrifices together.

I’ve seen the blood, sweat and tears that come along with privately owned businesses. That’s why I don’t pursue the cafĂ© of my dreams. I’m not willing to make my family sacrifice for my personal goal. I love my dad and am proud of what he accomplished and do not regret the sacrifices our family made to help him. I’m just not that person.

I guess, when it comes down to it, I’m not the sad person that my ex-boss said I was. I know when and where to put the brakes on work taking over my life. It’s just a matter of tolerance. Like in every aspect of life, everyone has a different level of tolerance.

If you find checking your email and corresponding while you’re in the loo completely fine, keep doing it. Just don’t forget to mute the phone when you flush and for gosh sakes, wash your darn hands! If you don’t mind an occasional call at 11pm, so be it.
In between the mojitos and margaritas, I’ll keep checking my email. All that counts is that you’re happy and content.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

No milk today, my love has gone away. The bottle stands forlorn, a symbol of the dawn.

Wait. So all those half pints of warm milk the nuns at my school made me drink will no longer be mandatory?

What next?
Are they going to get rid of the boiled grilled cheese sandwich?

The oval hockey puck meatloaf?

The rock hard macaroni and beef Which assisted in my loss of my first tooth?

Please don't say it will be the spork.

It's 11am and I'm starving. Naturally, I'm going to write about the next restaurant I hope to frequent.

My husband ran into the Sous Chef of Morimoto’s a few weeks back and he offered to assist us in getting a table to sample the Tasting menu.

Mind you it could have all been a nicety but you do not understand how excited I would be if he would assist us. I don’t know why but the idea of checking out Morimoto’s during the first year sounds like the perfect, escapist fantasy for me.

Every now and then everyone needs to escape their day to day. I’m not talking about the weeklong vacation escapes but a simple, local oasis. A change of a pace will do me good. For me, I like dressing up and going to dinner and the theatre. Yes, I’m one of the few remaining people who dress up to go to a show. I may not go all out for a matinee but you certainly won’t see Pantrygirl in jeans and a flip flops at “Sweeney Todd.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not pretentious. I don’t have any problems with people who go to shows in jeans. Heck, I’m fine with people attending church in shorts, so long as they are there. When I was a kid, whenever we went to a Broadway show or Lincoln Center, we would dress in one of our nicer outfits. I guess that has stuck with me.

If I have kids, I’ll probably teach them the same. I apologize in advance kids, for any embarrassment this may cause you but you’re wearing slacks/skirt to a show and white sneaks wouldn’t be allowed at church.

Our dinner and theatre nights have been dubbed in my head as ‘Sardi’s’ nights. It’s the night where I can be a Hitchcock siren and live the 'high life’. All I need is a thick pair of sunglasses, a mink stole and a cigarette dangling in one hand and a martini in the other. By the way, if you've never been to Sardi's, be prepared to be inundated with bread. The bread server is very diligient.

Anyway, I’m really hoping that we can get a reservation. I’ve heard nothing but spectacular reviews about his place in Philadelphia. I’ve never met him personally but I liken Morimoto to be like the chef in ‘Chef’. If you’ve never seen Lenny Henry as Chef Gareth Blackstock, rent it on Netflix or search for it on PBS or BBCAmerica. He’s a perfectionist chef. Memorable episodes include the one where a patron asked for salt and Chef Blackstock badgered her for criticizing his food and the hunt for the elusive non-pasteurized Stilton cheese.

Lrudlrick says Morimoto is a bit shorter than he appears in Iron Chef. I always thought he has great presence. If we don’t get in this year, maybe we’ll get in next year. I’m a realist and my world won’t stop completely if we don’t get in but it sure would be nice to sample the cuisine.

As for my next Sardi’s night, hopefully it will be during Valentine’s week when we’ll be going to “The Odd Couple.” Maybe I’ll get inspired and dress in the style of a Pigeon sister. Anyone have suggestions for places to eat?

Post note: Augie from Augieland has fascinating photos of the cuisine. It is food porn and I can't stop staring at it.

5 Things...

The Muttering Muse tagged me a while back while I was sans time and internet connection. Here, are my 5 Things about me:

1. My brother says I flirt a lot but I honestly don’t think I do. In fact, I’ve always thought I’ve been pretty awful conversing with the opposite sex. Heck, I usually get tongue-tied regardless if you are a male or a female. It doesn't help that I talk really really fast.

2. I can watch a movie over and over again until I’ve memorized all the lines. Sadly, the movies I can recite are not masterpieces. In my book, many are classics but that’s subjective. Movies I can watch over and over again include: Bringing Up Baby, Mr. Blanding Builds His Dream House, Dodgeball, and Zoolander.

3. My favorite numbers are: 13 and 62. 13 because no one ever picks it and 62 because of an inside joke between my brother and I. Hey Muthafunga. How do you spell ‘Satan’?

4. I have an overactive imagination and have a tendency to find everything oddly amusing. Yes, I’m the person that starts the ‘giggle loop’.

5. My face cannot hide my thoughts. I’m like Mos Def in The Italian Job. If you stick a giant Samoan with dreads and body art in front of me, I’m going to stare. I don’t mean to be rude. I’ll be nice and even hold conversations with him but I’ll definitely stare. Come on. This guy is clearly looking for attention. It’s not like he’s wearing a Henley and jeans. I did this at Mardi Gras when a biker chick was hanging out in front of a biker bar. She was a little person and she had these leather chaps on and I couldn’t help but wonder where a person who is 3 feet tall purchases leather chaps.

I know that I’m supposed to choose people to pass this on to but it is 9:40am and I’ve been in a meeting since 7:30 so you guys can choose.

If you do decide to participate in 5 Things, comment or email me and I’ll add a link to this entry.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Next the company pension guidelines will be posted on the stall.

I seem to attract strange bathrooms in every company I work at. Maybe during the interview process, I should ask about the lavatories.

In my new office, we have communal bathrooms. This isn’t anything different than what I’ve experienced before. If you recall, my last communal bathroom setting had stalls and one particular stall had post-it arrow tabs on the door.

My new bathroom does not have stalls. It’s a single bathroom. It doesn’t have a sign to denote it’s a bathroom. For all I know, it may very well be a unisex bathroom. I don’t mind sharing a bathroom with a male. So long as he lowers the seat afterwards and refrains from graffiti artwork I’m ok. For a single bathroom in an office, it is rather spacious. There is a separate wash area from the toilet area.

In front and to the left of the toilet is a green faux leather chair. Its purpose eludes me. So far I’ve been able to knock my knees on this chair each time I use the bathroom. I’d try to move it but after watching an episode of Mythbusters where they determined fecal matter was prevalent on everything in a bathroom, I avoid touching anything in the bathroom.

Today, I was greeted to a stack of newspapers on the green chair. I can understand that said person was being thoughtful. Some may need some entertainment while doing their business but do you really need to do this at your workplace?

Call me a slacker but I don’t feel the need to multi-task in my workplace bathroom. I highly doubt my boss is going to think lesser of me if she catches me walk out of the bathroom without a copy of the latest meeting minutes tucked in my underarm. Personally, I will avoid my office bathroom as much as possible. If I do need to use it, I try to make my visit as brief as possible.

Are there people out there who hang out in the jon like they did in high school? What’s the purpose? Is work that stressful that the only place to find ‘me’ time is in the loo? If that’s true, you might consider changing careers.

I was never a herder either. I felt no need to have 8 girls run into a 3 stall toilet to do their business. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been caught in these situations. One of my old bosses had a knack of following me into the bathroom. To make matters worse, she’d hold lengthy conversations while on the pot. I wouldn’t say I have a shy bladder but holding conversations with the person who has the power to fire you can cause it to shrivel.

All in all, I’m ok with my bathroom. It has air fresheners, a working toilet, a running faucet and a working lock on the door. I just ask the person sharing the newspapers to refrain from doing so next to the toilet. That’s really unnecessary.

Words to Live By

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” --Mt 11:28-30

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