Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Blood's thicker than mud. It's a Family Affair.

This season the 24 writers continue to perpetuate their main theme: women are a man’s downfall. Thanks He-man Woman Hater’s club.

Holy crap, Bluetooth is his brother! And his name is Graem!

L: How were they raised? Seriously, it’s like Cain and Able. Yin and Yang. Where’s Jack’s mom? It must have been tough raising Jack and Graem.

So far Jack’s family tree includes: Babe’s dad, Fame’s Monty and a to be announced sister. Any thoughts on which actress will play the sick, twisted and manipulative female Bauer?

Lrudlrick is still upset they couldn’t get Donald Sutherland to be Keifer’s dad.

Going back to Graem and yes I am spelling Bluetooth’s name as Graem because that’s how the closed captioning did it. I found Graem looked like grim which seemed apropos.

I’ve had sibling fights with Muthafunga. I’ve cut up his suction cup arrows to avoid getting shot at multiple times. He’s slammed 3 lbs weights on my bare feet. He’s ripped all my buttons off my school uniform during a knock out fight. I dropped an extra large Weeble on his head. I don’t recall at any point we tried to suffocate each other.

Sure, we’ve killed each other numerous times playing Contra because well, it was just fun to annoy the crap out of each other. However, when push comes to shove, I highly doubt we’d attempt to maim each other.

Could you imagine what childhood would be like for Jack Bauer? Good grief. I picture Jack like Chris from Stand By Me, the kid who saw too much and was wiser beyond his years. He’s River Phoenix but minus the hippie.

I suppose you can’t blame Graem for being jealous. Being in the shadows of Gallant must be hard but no one told you to marry Jack’s ex. Good grief, that’s never a good idea.

In other ‘24’ news, anyone else finding 227 annoying? Wayne’s fallout shelter looks a bit to Trekkie for me. I’m guessing Karen and Bill don’t share many dinners together. What’s up with Droopy D and Karen? I smell bad blood. Fayed is sitting on 4 suitcase nukes without detonators. Hasn’t this man heard of plan b, c and h?

The kill count is being tabulated:

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Monday, January 22, 2007

Stumped by my pepper mill

I have one of those Chef'N Pepper balls. I love this sucker and have refilled it at least 4 times since I've gotten it.

Here's my problem: I can't get the slide thing down to refill it. Has anyone else had this problem?

I've had my husband try to slide the door down. My brother, the linebacker, tried pushing the door down. The darn thing won't budge.

I don't see anything sticking near it. I gently cleaned the seam and it still won't open.

Do I give up and purchase a new one or is there some magically thing I can try to salvage my hard working tool? If I do get a new tool, anyone have any suggestions for a new grinder or should I stay with Mr. Pepperball?

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One of my robots is possessed

A few months back I bought one a Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaning doohickey.

It's been working great and I've loved how it's helped with maintaining the shower.

Well, a few days ago, it became possessed. Out of the blue, it would start the countdown and start itself.

At first I thought a sound from the re-pointing work outside was triggering it. However, my shower cleaner would start even in the evening.

It was quirky at first but now it's just downright creepy and spooky.

I'll be in the bathroom, doing my business and then I hear the beeping countdown warning you to close your shower curtains and then 'pfft pfft pfft pfft pfft'.

I finally gave up and took the batteries out.

Has anyone else had problems with there automatic shower cleaning doodad? It was a bit expensive and unless it's truly possessed by some maid from another time and place, I'm not chucking this baby.

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Monday, January 15, 2007

What, no silent countdown?

The following thoughts happen in real-time.


Jack and Ginger tails The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight’s handler.

I never noticed how banana faced the Six Feet Under guy was. Morris the cat needs to take orders and stop acting as a consultant.

At this point, Lrudlrick turns on the surround sound and it felt like I was actually sitting in the conference room in CTU.

Curtis don’t get upset. Bacardi and Cola is a classic.

Couldn’t Bauer say, “Excuse me?” No, he just pulls a guy out of his SUV because he couldn’t take the Yaris anymore. Come on, come into my Yaris. You’ll love the gas mileage it gets.

Anyone wondering if Apple is negotiating with ‘24’ to use an iPhone next season?

I’m not keen on the blue chairs in the CTU conference room. They look too blue.

Father and son have some weird hairdos. You want me to deliver an unmarked package? Do I look like UPS?

8:17am First commercial

8:21am Morris has got to get the chip out of your shoulder and just do his job. Milo and Morris should just duke it out.

Nuts. Why did they have to put a picture of former president Palmer up? We don’t need to be reminded Wayne isn’t his brother.

Man, a Cherokee can take a beating. Bacardi and Cola is back! Who the heck is the chick in the backseat?

Curtis, don’t be jealous.

If you were a nurse, wouldn’t you have injected him with a sleeping agent or hinted at sleeping pills to your son?

He doesn’t even read the bottle? Dude, I’d read the bottle, Google the drug and had the kid drink the water first.

Man, you could read teen angst’s face, “I’m such a loser. I have no balls. I should have shivved him when I had a chance. I suck.” Keep building up that angst kid. You’re going to need it for the big scene where you yell at your dad.

8:27am Commercial break. It’s like every cellular network is buying airtime during ‘24’.

8:32am Shouldn’t the prisoners have anklet restraints?

227 is being detained in a facility that looks like a public school. Would the FBI let them speak to each other? I don’t want to be released Wayne, I want to stay here and get an inside look at the civil right violations.

Cavity search time!

8:37am Commercial break

8:41am and Kumar is still making the pain face.

I guess Ford is out and Toyota is in.

I love cul de sacs, don’t you?

Someone tell me what Dr. ER has hanging from his rearview mirror? Are those lanyards?

No, you don’t know me but stay away from my partner. He’s mine you hear me, mine.

Corporate blue is in this year on ‘24’. Blame it on the resurgence of skinny ties and form fit shirts.

Is that an IBM ThinkPad? Geez, he must have gotten that relic from my FIL.

Yikes, next time, buy a Toughbook.

Drinking game rule #6: Whenever Bill or Karen say it’s a setback, take a swig.

L: Why doesn’t anyone listen to Jack? If they listened to Jack, that guy’s brain would still be in his skull.

Welcome to Con Air flight #589. Your pilot will be Samuel L Jackson and your co-pilot is Nick Cage.

8:48am Commercial break. Palmer Classic on an Allstate commercial.

8:53am I wonder if Con Air serves a full meal or if it’s just a snack.

Who are you? Who are you? I was expecting an Arab. Thank God it was only money. I thought it was a bomb.

Why are you rationalizing with Marcus? Now dad gets wise? Holy crap. Hit him again.

L: This doesn’t make sense to me. He’ll fight this guy but not the kid whose injured?

Great, a nuclear weapon. You know what that means, casualty figures.

Cool it, Curtis. Stop pouting. Don’t make me a call a time out.

That’s a pretty large plane to be transporting criminals.

Next we see Terrorist Jon Lovitz, he’ll get rid of last season’s prison orange for a more up to date attire.


9:00am I love saying the word ‘schematic’. I'm adding it to 'topeka' and 'breakfast'.

Don’t you mean, new-clay-r, Assad?

It’s too early for 227 to have flat hair.

Non military aircraft, preferably run by Hooters or Virgin Atlantic.

Bill’s not happy. Suitcase nukes doesn’t sound good.

Morris and Milo that’s the new comedy team at CTU. Chloe is fed up with Morris’ bs and so am I.

Drinking game rule #27: Shot for each time someone says ‘suitcase nuke.’

There goes the obligatory casualty graph. Inside sources said they tried using frowning faces but test audiences gave it a negative reaction. L: It’s like the graphics designer played Robotron a lot as a kid.

Wayne, it’s too late to apologize. Jack’s hands look nastier and nastier as the hours pass. It’s like the time I painted my hand with rubber cement when I was 10.

“What did China do to me? You don’t want to know what China did. Water torture and fire drills don’t hit the surface.”

So The Critic is the key to detonating the suit nuke.

Is it just me or does a suit nuke look like a cookie press? You don’t need to

Dad has some balls. Oh man, he chose? I guess that marriage is ending soon. Another Panasonic phone.

L: Dad needs to go Keyser Sose. I swear there are 20 million ways a little old lady could take down Kumar.

“I love you but we’ll need serious counseling after this.”

351 old mill road. How many people are going to chose 351 for tomorrow’s lotto drawing?

Oh great, Mom called 911. Anyone else recall what happened last year when someone called 911?

L: That’s a smart thing to do.
Until the terrorists intercept the call and send ‘cleaners’ to your home.

9:13am commercial break. I think I may be one of the only people in NYC aside from my husband who has never seen an episode of American Idol.

9:19am Chloe is the slut of CTU. Who knew. Didn’t she sleep with the informant last year?

L: Give him the payphone number so they can triangulate and narrow the search perimeters.

Karen has this Farrah Fawcett feathered look.

Just noticed we’re back in the White House. I wonder if they took the West Wing’s set.

Curtis’ look was the look every New Yorker had last week when the unknown gas smell wafted across the island.

Come as you are? Are they quoting Nirvana?

Daddy going to die. Everything takes 20 minutes.

9:31am Commercial break.

9:37am If ‘24’ is to be believed, pardons are a dime a dozen.

Political spin at work.

Palmer just said loyalty. This draws a red flag up in my radar for Droopy.

Kumar’s high is going down.

That was a great scared look Kumar.

Has Bauer killed anyone in the last two hours? Maybe he is getting soft.

9:42 Commercial break

I was right, the facility is a school.

Stop being a lawyer and look at the whole picture! Something is going on here and we need to know what it is.

My guess is Cola’s brother died in the war against terrorism. Cola, don’t be a hero!

Brother. Squad. It’s the same.

Cola, no!

L: That’s why he’s Black Jack. He has his own demons to fight.

Don’t make me shoot you, Cola.

Curtis! Curtis can’t die! Add another demon for Jack.

Oh man, poor Jack. And it’s not like he’s eaten anything so that was all bile folks.

Bill, if I could cry I would but I’m completely dehydrated and spent.

L: See, you said he hasn’t killed anyone lately. They were saving it for something big. Now he’s just Bacardi straight up.

Gun butt. That’s another funny word.

Is it safe to shoot near a nuclear device? L: Yes, why not?
That’s why not.

Time for another casualty graph. Quick, Google Earth 351 Old Mill Road Valencia! Next week, we see the National Guard.

L: Jack, you quit and the US goes to hell in a hand basket.

Jack, it’s Bill. See what happens when you quit? A nuclear bomb goes off in a residential neighborhood.

Not again, another 4 ‘visitors’?

Ok, so The Critic and Dad blew up but what about Fayed?
Next week: Holy crap, Bluetooth man is back and we have confirmation Fayed made it out. He’s like a frickin’ Dalek.

The kill count is being tabulated:

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B is for Bauer!

The following thoughts happened in real time.

Peter McNichol = this season's token pasty white guy. What’s up with the Droopy D cheeks?

When did Wayne get smart? He’s still a puppet.

Chloe’s husband is back. Oh and the Six Feet Under Kid seems to be a new addition to CTU.

Nice hairdo, Chloe. Chloe getting a grown up hairdo with highlights.

Curtis is back. Black Jack and that isn't a Cingular endorsement.

Bill Buchanan’s white hair. Obviously 20 months without Jack has been hard on Bill.
Anyone else think Jack looks like a Sirius Black double?

What did they trade with the Chinese for Jack’s release?
Shouldn’t be Jack be checked by medic and checked for implanted bugs?
If you haven’t spoken in two years, wouldn’t you need a Ricola, Salt water gargle or a few shots of Vicks spray?

If Jack’s first words are, “Where’s Kim?” Smack him.

Damn, what did Jack do? What happened in Beirut? Is this in reference to something with Behrooz and his crazy mom and dad?

First commercial. Next scene will be of a clean shaven Jack.

What no Treos? Is the endorsement still with Sprint? Bill and Karen! Get out! Guess CTU people don’t read pg’s guide to working at CTU.
24 Fact #110: Do not have family or loved ones.

Jack’s interrogation. Oh, man, I can’t wait to see Bauer’s new techniques. I’m sure he’s picked up a thing or two in China.

Cisco phones. CTU ring tone. Muthafunga, did you download it yet?

Stop picturing Nadia and I in a threesome, Morris.

Told you Jack would be clean shaven.

Jack flinched! Jack doesn’t flinch. Jack shouldn’t flinch.

Did the country hold special elections after President Weasel and his staff were pulled down?

Great, convention centers in Philly, Detroit and LA. Riots and National Guards will be deployed again.

Sony Vaio.

What’s up with the purple? Droopy has a purple tie. Buchanan has a purple shirt.

Dying for something versus dying for nothing. Jack, you’ve died more times than, well, has anyone ever tallied how many times Jack has officially been dead?

Guess Cingular is the new official phone of ‘24’.

Token teen with angst. The angst will only get worse when his dad gets hurt.

Kumar! Where’s Harold?

Morris is a sneaky tech for hire. Morris you are going to get Chloe in trouble and you killed.

Is there a universal handcuff key? Just curious.

Damn, satellite surveillance is quick. Of course Chloe gets no repercussions. Bill like Chloe too much.

Oh man, more torture devices. Pliers can’t be good.

So Assad is good and Fayed is bad or so it seems.

Wasn’t Bill’s shirt and tie purple before? Now it’s blue.

Kumar, say it ain’t so!

Holy crap! Jack’s loco! Kiefer channeled The Lost Boys for that scene.

Lrudlrick: See, he could have gotten out of China anytime he wanted. It was a vacation for him.

L: So what did we give China for Jack?
We still don’t know, maybe it’s Kim and Audrey.

It just so happens a car is nearby and a cellphone with charged battery is available.

It’s a Nextel phone. Guess Sprint is still the preferred cellular service of ‘24’.

24 Fact #352: When Jack says to trust him, you trust him.

What the heck would make your hand jaundiced?

Karen, reread fact #352.

Everyone has GPS on their phone in LA.

L: Is it a Ford F150?

He’s like Pikachu, he chooses Kumar who had to deliver a package, please let it not be Kim or Audrey.

Seriously after 2 years of torture, Jack shouldn’t be as physical fit as he is.

It’s the ER doctor! The transponder is a person.

24 Fact #86: Trust issues and hatred are prevalent.

L: I have to get GPS on my phone now.

Are the writers commenting on the current climate of freedom of information?

Not to be stereotypical but we all knew 227 girl was going to be Wayne’s brother. Ah, the Treos returns.

Where do we know that guy from?
L: I don’t remember but he’s going to be 227’s downfall.

Chloe’s heart just skipped a beat.

Great exposition Chloe, just in case no one knows, Bill married the Scarecrow.

Days! Try being interrogated for 20 months!

Why’d I stop? Well, either I’m soft or ok, I’m soft.
Mental note: A knife to the knee is not desirable.
L: Yes, but it is effective.

Jack need a big bear hug.

It’s the geek battle of the year: FireDog vs. Geek Squad. Black and Green vs. Black and White.

Kumar’s back would have been bloody and glass shard not just his thigh.

Teen angst looks familiar and I still can’t figure out where I know 227’s man. It’s going to eat at me until I know.

L: Ill. Look at that growth on that kid’s neck next to Bauer.
You find that disgusting but Jack’s back not so much?
L: I’m just saying. That’s not normal.

I’ve never been on a LA train but do they have a ticket person?

Yeah, I see a suspicious package.

Cool special effects. Tunnel explosion. Big poof. Fireball.

Who was that unmasked man in a grey Henley?

No kidding, it’s going to get worse, Wayne. You and Karen need to trust Jack a bit more.

The kill count is being tabulated:

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Don't make me call a Time Out, Mom.

Can maniac depressives have seasonal affective disorder? Just wondering.

I called mom Saturday. I wanted to stop by for a visit. She arrived in New York on Thursday. She said she was too tired to talk or for a visit. I’ll probably call her tonight. With grandmother here, it’s not going to be easy for her the next few months.

I haven’t spoken to my MIL since Christmas. I guess I’ll give her a call tonight as well. She’s going through a weird spell where she wants validation for her parenting skills. Lrudlrick has told her to eat some chocolate.

My FIL is acting a bit childish too. It's a long story but he's grasping at straws and he brought me in on the action with a comment on my Christmas card. It's ridiculously stupid and doesn't warrant the time it would take to tell it. Still he's being a hypocritical child and I'm being nice.

What happens when you get old? Do you just slowly lose it? Do you become introverted and introspective?

This falls into my theory that the more kids you have the faster you lose it. It’s faster for women by default because our smart and logical parts are given to our children during the incubation phase. By the 8th kid, you’ve completely lost the skill to rationalize.

This doesn’t stop me from thinking about having them though. I freely accept the fact that I will lose all common sense if I have kids. I'm just jumping on the wagon as quickly as others.

The one thing I don’t want to be is self centered. One of my biggest fears is that I will become so engrossed in my own being that I forget the world around me. I forget others and the affects I can have on them and they to me.

Everyone has there own issues in life, some are similar and other different. Still, actions we make will affect others. For the good of others, one cannot be self absorbed.

We all have our fears and self interests but they shouldn’t dominate your decisions.

Having said that, I wonder if I’m a hypocrite. I say that self interests should not dominate your decisions yet I find myself closing off from my mother for self-preservation reasons. Like a cantankerous colleague, I tune her off. I repeat my mantra, “Don’t take it personal. It’s not personal. Her words are not directed at you.”

I suppose self-preservation isn’t the type of self interest I refer to. Self-preservation is a necessity especially during the holiday family drama that springs up from November through January.

Anyway, I’m just rambling again. Nothing to see here. Moving on. This week, I continue my alphabet game with B is for Bauer. He’s back and I’m giddy with delight.

Two lost souls, on the highway of life...

I’d like to getaway in March. I’m leaning towards Europe. I can’t let work take over my life. Unfortunately, I can’t plan anything until Lrudlrick gets a stronghold on how this data conversion will fair.

I’ve contemplated going away on my own for a few days. I like the idea but I’m too cheap to do it. I don’t mind spending money on a holiday with people. I have an issue with doing so for my own gratification. I know this doesn’t make sense coming from a woman who dreams of a carousel conveyor for her shoes.

I contemplated going to culinary camp but I calculated the costs to be over a grand. I can’t justify a holiday for one being over a grand.

Plus, I have the added effect that Lrudlrick is feeling pretty bad about the past three months. He tries to occasionally go out with me for a jaunt but I know when it’s just the two of us, his mind is on work. I can see the cogs moving.

I’m busy too but the fact is, most of my work although on a time table is not as rigid as his.

I understand right now work is priority but I do occasionally miss him. It’s not as if we do anything special when we’re together. We just are. We’re not social party animals. We’re not clubbing or bar hopping. We’re just Lrudlrick and Pantrygirl, two geeks who love technology and television.

"Where ever we go. Whatever we do. As long as you've got me and I've got you, we've got a lot because we've got each other!"

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Words to Live By

"We love to measure our revenue, productivity, and profits, our membership, attendance and capital campaign burse, our web-site hits and referring sites, our majorities in the legislatures, troop strength, and tax reductions. But all that status is sand if we love our power more than our neighbor..."
-- Gregory Warnusz of Holy Name of Jesus Parish, northeast Saint Louis County, Missouri, USA

Friday, January 05, 2007

A is for after party.

It’s the first week of January, the after party begins. Just when you think it’s over, you’ve got to deal with repacking your ornaments, disposing of a dried out tree and dealing with the after Christmas blues.

As a child the blues meant the return to school and the end to the anticipation of Santa Claus. As an adult, the blues means I have to return to work, pay the Christmas bills and stow away the decorations I pulled out a month before.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the decorations but when you live in a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan, storing these goodies can be a pain and a financial burden. We have a storage closet in our building. It’s great for holiday storage but it’s been two years since we’ve cleaned it out and it’s beginning to get crowded.

I have items in my coat closet that I need to store down in our basement but I’m too lazy and too afraid to add anything else into our storage area. I know it’s time to clean it out but I who wants to spend the one day off cleaning out a storage closet?

I know, I’m being a baby about it but honestly, cleaning the closet opens up other ‘to dos’. Reorganizing the closet means donating items which means finding organizations that want the items. Those items that can’t be donated can be sold which requires photos and posting flyers around the neighborhood.

Could my obsessive compulsive disorder be waning? Could I accept the fact that my coat closet and storage closet can be messy?