Firstly, I want to say I am a lucky woman to have a man who does the wash. After 7 years of washing his clothes, we've switched off and he now does the wash and dry. I fold but that's another story.
Now, although I appreciate a man who can do wash there are specific rules for women's clothing. Since women’s clothing is finicky, I ask my husband to follow one rule:
Do not wash anything your wife wears without asking her.
Ok, there is a second rule (see below) but this is the golden rule.
Why? Because you may think you are being nice but you'll only open a can of worms.
See, it's probably some item she really truly loves. A bond has been built between her and that merino wool sweater. Any person/animal who tries to break this relationship will suffer the wrath of a woman scorned. It will be two times worse than any sudden burst you may receive while her Aunt Flo visits. If Aunt Flo is around when you have a laundry faux pas, for your safety I suggest you refrain from speaking for the rest of the night. If this isn't possible, spend the night at a friend's house.
Whether it is a towel or a silk chemise, she probably put it there for a reason and it wasn't for you to take it. The towel on the one-seater was probably put there so she remembers to refresh the bathroom towels. Don’t ask how it reminds her of this. It just does.
After 7 years of me doing the laundry, Lrudlrick has taken up laundry duty. Actually he does the laundry and I fold it and put it away. It’s been working to an extent.
We have two rules with my clothes:
1. If I don’t give you my clothes to wash and you see an item of mine laying in the bathroom, don't just assume you can wash it. Ask me.
2. Remove all delicates after the wash cycle. Do not put them in the dryer.
The problem is my husband thinks all my clothes are delicates. Trying to get him to realize a pair of crop pants aren’t delicates is a hopeless cause. If it’s my clothes and it doesn’t weight 5lbs wet, he brings it upstairs after the wash cycle. So every week, I’ve got a bathroom and bedroom that smells April Fresh because I’ve got my crop pants, cotton tees and tanks strewn all over. I’m about to hang some shirts on my ceiling fan.
For you guys who don’t understand why it’s so complicated, here are a few quirks in regards to women’s clothing and laundry: Ladies/gents, if you have any additional to add, feel free to add them in the comments section.
1. Bathing suits do not get washed in a washing machine. They must be hand washed. It takes a woman a full year of bathing suit shopping to find the perfect suit. Do not be surprised to suffer the wrath if her bathing suit for the season is ruined by a spin cycle.
2. Silk does not get washed in a washing machine. Ok, some silks are ok but who wants to play the game of chance?
3. Thin bra straps, thong/v-string underwear, chemises and well anything you guys like seeing us in will tangle and collect pilling. It is important to handle these items delicately and separate if possible.
4. Those tiny sweater seats that accentuate our bosoms usually contain silk and/or wool. Washing and drying some of these will lead them to shrink into doggie sweaters/toddler sweaters. Read the labels to be sure they are machine washable.
5. Bras must be hooked closed. If not, they can get caught on machinery or snag clothes. The front hooks are ok but the back hooks need to be closed. Otherwise, your wife will be stealing your needle-nose pliers to bend them back into shape. I keep one in my bra drawer because this is a common occurrence.