Monday, March 07, 2011

Buckle up for another roller coaster

So much is going on.  My head is spinning.
I don't know how to feel or what.  I know my mind would be a little more at ease once I find out for sure but I'm not there yet.  It's a logical conclusion but I'm still at the emotional side of things.
I never thought I'd feel this way. I mean, it was different before.  I felt different.  I don't think it was as emotional as it is for me now.  I don't want to sound negative.  I just have so many apprehensions.  I know it will be fine and God will guide me.  I remind myself all day to have no anxiety and trust in the Lord.  I wish as a human, this was easier to do.
I vented today and let it out and of course like a good friend would do, she reminded me to think logically.
I couldn't concentrate all morning so I ran to the store.  Like a scene from a bad sitcom, I beelined to the toilet in my office.  I chose a quiet out of the way restroom.  I didn't have to wait long.  The line was blue as blue can be but I kept repeating, "Well, it's faint blue."
My girlfriend wanted to slap me with a fish.  What am I?  In my 20's freaking out over a blue line?
Now I just need to find out for sure.  Damnit.  Why do I have to be a girl and be so emotional?