Monday, March 14, 2011

Everyone parents differently.

So my MIL bought our daughter a tutu and some frilly clothes.  Don't get me wrong, if a child asks for these things, I have nothing against getting them for them.  I have an issue of folks buying these things before a child asks or coaxing a child into them.
"It's so cute and adorable.  Why won't you let me get her the Uggs or other frilly stuff?"
DH: Why don't you get a pair of 'juicy' sweatpants and some baby heels while you are at it.  She has plenty of time for that.  Let her be a kid.  If she wants it, she'll ask for it.
My daughter will be inundated with physical pressures soon enough.  Heck, I was researching shows and flipped to Nick the other day and they had Cover Girl make up commercials on Nick! 
I don't want to start this now if she's not asking for it.  My kid loves sneakers not patent leather dress shoes.  She loves to climb up ladders and climb rocks.  She loves to wear necklaces but nothing too big and bulky.  She likes to cook and likes to play with trains.  She loves her dump truck and calls herself 'David' sometimes.  She doesn't like skirts but will wear a sweater dress over pants and shirt.
I'm totally cool with this. 
DH said to his mother that it was a nice gesture but she hasn't asked for one and we'd like to refrain from it.  She got upset and she's now mailing it to me.  
My MIL reemphasized again how the tutu was because our daughter loves to dance and girls wear tutus when they dance.
Ok, first of all, every 2 year old loves to dance. 
Our 2 year old loves to pratfall dance ala Make 'Em Laugh. 
She actually asked me for a hat and cane.  BTW, does anyone know where I can find a toddler sized hat and cane?
My kid has seen ballet.  My kid has seen modern dance.  My kid has seen tap dancing.  My kids favorite dance is jumping up and down and spinning.
I dont' know if she thinks DH is the one against it.  She should know how I am.
She texted me, "If you don't like it you can hand it down to someone."
I asked her nicely not to buy items with brand names blazoned on the front for our child.  We told her we're not keen on all the branding of children.  My kid doesn't need 'Baby Phat' on her chest.  We know when school starts she'll be surrounded by friends asking for Dora's and Diego's and whatever else there is out there.  She knows Thomas and she knows Kai-lan but she doesn't prefer either.  Ok, she does like Thomas but she's not obsessed.  We're just happy she isn't into Kai-lan.  Her friends have some serious trait issues.
We ask folks not to label her a 'good girl' or a 'big girl' and for the most part most people don't.  I actually think when folks occasionally do now (generally older generation folks), my daughter glosses over it or sometimes looks at them with this puzzled look regarding those phrases.
It's hard to tell folks, especially grandparents your views and it's equally hard for them to accept them.  So I try my best to kind of push them aside and remind myself to be more kind than anything.