Thursday, May 26, 2011

About to whip out a Duran Duran t-shirt to wear.

This drives me bonkers.
I know it in no way is supposed to be meant to be a slight or a whatnot but why does my husband always do his wash first and my daughters and mine last?
Prior to TG being born, we separated or wash.  It wasn't because we didn't want to help each other but I just couldn't deal with having to do my wash, the house wash, the dog's wash and 3-4 loads of my husband's wash a week.  Yes, you read that right, my husband has 3-4 loads of wash a week.
I gave up on ironing his shirts the third month into our union.  I happily buy the $$$ brooks brothers no iron shirts or send them off to Jessica at the cleaners for pressing.
It's for my own sanity.
So when TG came along, I figured I'd do my wash, the house wash, the dog wash and her wash. 
Then DH became a SAHD.  He didn't cook nor was he consistent with his promises to wash dishes so laundry, mopping, sweeping and vacuuming became his thing.
I happily welcomed this.
Yes, you still caught me doing a load of wash once a week but at least DH was helping with most of it.
Problem is DH doesn't have a set schedule.  He does the wash when he runs out of clothes.  I won't even go into how he may do the wash but apparently folding is a separate endeavor.
I do the wash once a week.  I don't wait until I'm on the pair of underwear that came in the three pack that was fugally but you saved it for the backup pair.  I don't wait until the pile of laundry overflows over the hamper to the point it begins to look like Jabba the Hut is squatting in our home.
I also do the wash when I foresee a trip or function that will interrupt our normal laundry cycle.
I know.  I know.  I have OCD. 
So when the pile gets a little crazy, I try not to just jump in and do the laundry but patiently wait for DH.
I start dropping hints.
I resort the laundry (we have a laundry sorter bin).  I wheel the darn laundry cart out into the hallways so you have to notice it.
I put the laundry detergent on top of the cart.
When it starts to overflow, I bring out the granny go cart and resort the laundry again.
And perhaps its this darn sorting that is the stick in the cog.
I sort his laundry out of our laundry.
The piles are always the same in order of size: DH's laundry, the household laundry w/dog laundry, TG's laundry & my laundry.
And every time, when he's finally gotten around to doing the laundry, he does his load first.  He doesn't fold it and just shoves it back into the granny go cart and then says he's exhausted and he'll do our laundry tomorrow.
I seriously need clothes folks.  I'm pregnant and am officially in maternity wear.  Being the cheap mom that I am I have limited maternity clothes as I'd like to think that I'll return to my size 4 jeans post pregnancy.
As of 10:47pm on 05.26.2011, I have the following clean clothes available to me: 3 pairs of underpants, a strapless bra, 1 tank top, 1 pair of boxer shorts, 1 pair of cord pants, 2 pairs of jeans, a formal maternity dress (for a wedding on Saturday), 3 long sleeve henleys and a spaghetti strap mini dress.
Ok, that seems like a lot but consider the temperature I'm dealing with now.  It's in the 80's and extremely humid and muggy in NYC now.  Did I mention I'm pregnant?  So essentially it's like 95 degrees and not the nice 95 degrees in the southwest desert hot but 95 degrees in Aruba without a breeze hot and sticky.
Tomorrow I can either wear the mini dress or the tank and boxers to a playmate and to run errands.  Anyone who has a 2 year old and is pregnant knows the mini dress is just asking for me to be written up for indecent exposure at the playground.  Can you imagine my pregnant ass climbing the monkey bars with my toddler in a mini dress?
Yes, you know I'm still climbing because well I have a two year old so you climb ladders, swing on swings, go down slides and climb through tunnels while hefting your incubation chamber.
Now, I could do the laundry but I had an 8 hour day at work, made a from scratch meal in 30 minutes, emptied the dishwasher twice and started it twice, spent time with our daughter, fed our daughter and got her ready for bed.
Oh and I'm making my list of groceries and things to pack for our quick memorial day playdate get together.
DH promises to do the laundry tomorrow so I will just have to rock the tank and boxer shorts look tomorrow.
However, if no laundry is done by tomorrow night, pregosauraus and mothra is going to pull out a can of whoop ass like you wouldn't believe.