I know that nighttime parenting is mostly left for me.
I understand this and try to do this as best I can.
Lately though I have found when I need my husband's help juggling two kids and their needs I get a negative reaction. It's so negative, I sometimes find it better for me to leave him be and try to juggle both.
I hate when he throws at me that I'm waking him up.
He wakes me up every time I fall asleep while helping DD go to bed. Do I ever tell him he is waking me up? No. I get up and tend to DS' needs.
I abhor how he will sometimes wake up cussing when he hears our daughter calling for help.
She's a night pee-er. She wakes up a lot to pee. It is just the way it is. It's not her fault. He doesn't cuss in front of her but he does it nonetheless.
Many nights I stay up when the kids are asleep to plan and coordinate activities and events for the family. I also plan the days and pack and sometimes unpack diaper bags and lunch sacks. That doesn't mean that it's ok to assume I can juggle both kids in the middle of the night.
Do you know how many times I've had to nurse DS to bed while attending to DD?
Do you know how many times I've had to handle bedtime for both kids simulataneously and single handedly?
The moment I leave work I have to worry about tidying up the house, prepping the rooms for bedtime, making dinner, cleaning up after dinner and getting the kids to bed.
When I ask for assistance like starting pasta or rice I always come home before its done.
When I ask for dishes to be washed I'm told they will get done the next day maybe.
I am on overdrive from evening until midnight most days.
Still I don't yell or cuss when I'm awoken.
If I say something the response is I woke him up.
If I don't say something, occasionally I'll get an apology.
I know his grumpiness is because he's woken up but that does not excuse it. I'm not here to just take it.
I'm your spouse and you can vent but I am not a punching bag.