Monday, March 19, 2012

Nighttime is the right time for Momtime

I know there are studies that show that men and women react differently to the cries of a baby.
I know infant cries are like daggers to a women's heart.
I know that men will awake to an alarm moreso than the cries of an infant.
That doesn't console me though.
I don't recall my husband's reactions with DD are the same as DS's when it comes to crying.
It seems as if as soon as he cries and I'm around and it's nighttime, he comes to me to tell me that the kid is crying. We don't live in a mansion. I can hear him. I know he's crying. I've got my hands busy with your daughter who woke up crying too. I'm not some Indian goddess with multiple arms and breasts.
I asked him the other day if he can settle him down while I finish up with DD. When I get to DS, he's whimpering and flailing on DH's chest. "See. This is the best I can do to quiet him."
DS is arched back looking up at me with squinted wet eyes and I swear he's crying out, "Maaaaaaaaa!"
I pick him up and faithfully follow Dr. Karp's shushing technique while rubbing his back. He quiets down and I ask him if he startled himself awake again and needs help settling down. He then lets out a bowel deep burp that causes DH to crack up.
Don't get me wrong. DH is awesome with DS but at night he becomes this:

I notice it with the diaper changes too. I calmly talk to DS while changing his diaper even when he's upset. He seem to calm immediately. DH will just sit there in silence and change his diaper while DS is wailing the wails of a child who has woken up in the dark, wet and disoriented.
I remember back when I was pregnant with #1 and DH kept telling me how he'd be on nighttime parenting as he is a night owl. Well, with #1, DH wasn't home many nights so I handled it by default.
With #2, we juggle both kids but I primarily handle DS at night.
I don't mind I just mind that when I'm obviously busy or if I'm even asleep, there doesn't seem to be any attempt whatsoever to help soothe DS back to bed. I'm the goto.