Forget about fair or right.
I know that degrees of tolerance will cause a person to action and or batshit craziness.
Yesterday I worked from 9am-10:30pm. I came home to a home the an aftermath of a hurricane. I know that's to be expected. But still every time I get disappointed. I am sure it's not intentional but it is as if he knows my tolerance is low and therefore if he leaves it I'll clean it up.
Sure enough I tried to ignore it but my sleep was restless and hot.
I woke up ten minutes to the alarm to my son telling me he wet the bed.
And so began my morning of cleaning.
I cleaned the bed.
I sorted the laundry.
I tidied the kids room and the clubhouse I asked them to clean yesterday which they didn't. I know I'm perpetuating the situation.
I moved to the bathroom and did everything short of scrubbing the toilet.
I tidied the living room, dining room, kitchen and hallway.
I swept the floor.
I made breakfast.
I took a shower before the hot water was shut off for boiler maintenance.
Here's the kicker. He hasn't said a word. He hasn't said thanks or let me do it.
I left the vacuum and steamer in the middle of the entranceway as a passive aggressive message of PUT THE DAMN APPLIANCES AWAY AFTER YOU USE THEM.
I put up the back to school chore and responsibility list for the kids up and told them they need to follow the rules. I don't know how far I'll get this week as I'm not home and Dad feels he need not enforce rules.
Heck I feel like because he helped her with her homework like I asked yesterday he feels he doesn't need to do more.
I get it he has stuff to do but so do I.
What really burns me is how he doesn't enforce the kids responsibilities. They need to set the table. They need to clear the table. Basic stuff.
WTF?! Does he think kids will just do this shit? You have to teach responsibility and ownership and working together.
I will tell my children that a spouse who is unwilling to chip in shows you their true self. One who is not for the family but for himself or herself. Family is teamwork and collaboration and thinking of others not only ourselves.