Woke up DD at 7am.
DH no where to be found.
Made lunch for DD.
DH comes home with supplies for breakfast. Without saying anything we have an unsaid said he's making breakfast while I'm making and packing DD' lunch.
Did her hair and helped her get dressed for Carnegie Hall.
Got DS dressed.
Packed for day out with DS.
Was about to take DS and DD to bus stop. DH said I'd never make it and decided the solution was for him to get dressed and take DD to bus.
Felt a non pressure situation into a pressure situation and a tense start to the morning for everyone.
DS and I left 3 minutes later.
Spent day with DD at school and Central Park.
Came home to pick up DD at bus stop.
Reminded DH about gym class. "I forgot."
Went home with kids with a migraine.
Packed bags and took DD to viola.
Helped DD bathe (hay fever season).
Texted whether I should cook.
Took a shower.
Helped DD with homework.
DH comes home while I'm helping DD. Says ordering because he doesn't want to do dishes. (Dishwasher broken)
Start bath for DS and bathe DS while helping DD with homework. Juggling.
DH does not offer any support. He's laying on the floor and surfing the web. He ignores DS's calls and doesn't seem to be planning food or ordering food. His conversation about food makes it sound like something I should be handling. All of this makes me feel as if he expects me to do it all.
Remembered not to be a martyr and asked DH to order dinner. Made the mistake of asking him for a favor. It's not a favor.
As I'm juggling bath and homework DH says he will bike to BBQ.
I get DS out of the tub and dress him.
DD finishes her homework. We pack our backpack.
DD and DS play while I clean and prepare the dining room table.
DH comes home at 7:15pm.
I serve the food. Again feel like this is an expectation of me not him.
Kids eat while DH walks the dog.
DH returns and says he will go work on storage.
Kids and I eat together.
We clear the table together and DS and I go to bed while DD stays up a bit. It's not past 8. DH still in storage.
DD wakes me up to ask me to rub her back. Tell her I'm not feeling well and she asks does that mean I'll rub her back in 30 minutes. Tell her to go to bed and let me rest so I am stronger. Crap, is she turning into her dad?
I've been coughing and hacking up phlegm all day. My migraine is still with me. Think I have hay fever and a cold. My immune system is low.
Why do I feel as if I DH believes it is my responsibility to do certain things? Like some weird female/male role thing?
Many times he says,"the kids don't want me. They want you." Yes kids can be like that but I'd like to think someone who is compassionate may see when a person is juggling and that the needs of everyone around her are wearing her thin and she could use some help.
I feel as if there is no compassion or empathy. Perhaps it is my doing. All these years of juggling and now it's an assumption.