I've seen better days rant

Today did not start off well.
Well, it did start off well but then I got up.
After some cuddling with both kids, I got up and headed to the bathroom for my 5 minute 'me' time (aka brush teeth, wash face, try to be clean etc). DD, aka Superhero Reese, starts the let's knock on the door while Mom's in the bathroom game. She asks if I'm pooping or peeing and then she asks that I make French toast not Daddy. I say if Mommy can have time in the bathroom alone maybe we can make time for me to start it for Daddy. I suspect she prefers my recipe over DH's. She flys of and actually leaves me alone in the bathroom.
I continue to try to make myself presentable to the human race when ::knock knock::, someone needs to use the bathroom and they can't wait.
So I shuffle off to the kitchen in the hopes I can freshen up by the sink. I walk in hoping to sneak past DD who will think I'm done and want to help cook French toast, as promised.
I turn into the kitchen to see Superhero Reese sitting on the stool next to the refrigerator, "Hi Mom. I'm ready to help make French toast." Drat.
I tell her I still need to get ready but maybe soon.
She sits quietly kicking her legs out and in while fumbling with her superhero cape.
I hurriedly put some blush and mascara on and then pull out the eggs.
DH then tells DD, Superhero Reese, that Mommy cannot make French toast because she has to get ready and go to the office. This sets of Superhero Reese and the tears ensue. Full blown sobs and screams. "But Mama said we would try to make time. I didn't go to the bathroom! I'm waiting!"
The banter between father and daughter continue until threats of no French toast come out leading to more tears and sobs.
Finally DD asks to help walk the dog which leads to DH giving her a deadline of 2 minutes to get dressed, a near impossible task for a 3 year old. She asks for help off the stool and DH is obstinate. This isn't going to help make the 2 minute deadline. DD asks me and DH stops and says she cannot ask me for help. This leads to more balling. Now my kid is the color of a turnip.
All the while, all I wanted to do was make my smoothie, set the oven for dinner tonight and pack my lunch and breastmilk parts. Oh and entertain my child by having her crack and whisk the French toast egg while I do all these things. (Yes, my 3 year old can crack and egg and make her own French toast custard by herself as long as you set the mise en place for her.)
Now I'm standing in the kitchen having to appear to be a united front with my husband while waiting until the drama subsides so I can do the things I need to do.
There is another blow out crying session in the bedroom between DH and DD which I can only surmise is due to DH refusing to allow Superhero Reese walk the dog with him. (No capes outside)
By this time, I'm so frazzled, I'm not in a good state I don't know what to do or where to begin.
They leave for the walk and I franctically make my smoothie, pack my lunch and breastpumping accoutrements and realize, crap, I need to wrap a baby shower present for today. I search for some wrapping paper and tape, do a half ass job of wrapping it all while entertaining DS who has completed his morning babbling at the sun and sky session is staring at me for additional entertainment.
While they were out I also sliced some brioche and stuck it in some quick French toast custard.
DH and DD returns just as I'm packing up my lunch. As I'm heading out the door frazzled and not in the state I'd like ot be, DH mentions the following (not in a mean way):
1. I cut the bread too thick. (I think my daughter actually prefers it thick but eh)
2. His custard allows him to make scrambled eggs with the leftovers. He can't with my custard.

Whatever.
Now I'm sitting here realizing two things:
1. I forgot my ice pack to keep the pumped breastmilk cool.
2. I forgot to set the over for dinner tonight which means I've not only left the house frazzled, I get to come home to be frazzled again.

I'm so looking forward to it.