Thursday, February 23, 2012

Displacement


How much anger displacement is acceptable and what am I teaching my child by my reaction?

This is a question I have been asking myself in the past few weeks.

Is it ok to accept anger displacement?

I know my relationship with others, children and adults, are being monitored and absorbed by my children.
They learn to interact with other by my example.
Therefore, when someone is angry and displacing his/her anger out at someone, is it acceptable?
Now I'm not talking about displacement in the form of verbal or physical abuse. That's always a no.

Lately, I've been trying to learn to bite my tongue.I know I said that I'm starting this on Ash Wednesday but I've been thinking about it alot prior to AW.

I know it isn't appropriate to displace on others but I also know we are all human and we all do it on occasion.
Do I let it slide?
Do I say something?
If I say something while the person is heated, it only fuels the fire. If that is the case, perhaps I should just keep quiet and say something later or nothing at all.
If I say something the irrational person is just only going to become more irrational causing my child to get upset and ask people not to yell or scream.
If I don't address it though, what does my child learn? That it is ok to displace?

This has been really irking me of late.
If I hold off and say something later, 1) does my child understand this? and 2) am I going to hear that I'm holding a grudge?

Argh! and folks wonder why I prefer to sit behind my computer.