Sunday, October 16, 2011

Birds of a feather is what I need now

Fed up and done.
House is a total wreck.
DH moved bed next to windows leaving them wide open without screens. 3yo threw stuff out window. We have no clue what. I'm not comfortable with the bed so close to the windows.
I can't work because Internet down.
I can't surf because internet down.
Can't watch on demand because it's down.
Can't clean up because DH wants tot to sleep in her wreck of a room now.
Have no idea where anything and I mean anything is.
And I still don't have any of my post partum stuff to pack in hospital bag because it's the last thing aside from install infant car seat on my husband's to do list.
He feels tired and in a time crunch. He hasn't slept and he wants a haircut.
I sympathize just a little but know he put this on himself. I have bigger fish to fry.
I have a sick toddler who's world was just rocked and will be rocked once again once the newborn comes that only I seem to realize.
I have DH trying to impose timeouts because he is tired and frustrated. He's not considering that timeouts don't work and they especially are not warranted when you keep the child up past her bedtime and change her room and her routine at 10pm.
I have no maternity pants left to wear and I'm wearing out maxipads like you wouldn't believe. (I'll spare you the gruesome details and will only mention bloody show and mucous plug.)
I'm being told to hold in the baby as if this is my decision.
I have no comfort in sleeping now.
I'm made to feel as if wanting to spend these last few days relaxed and stress free as unrealistic.
I'm even made to feel bad that I want to take my daughter out to a performance.
I just want to live in the bathtub now.
My toddler has had a less than ideal three or four days now and I feel awful about it.
I want to go and hide somewhere.
Sad part is tomorrow I will suck it up and continue to do what little I can do to try to make my home a little more comfortable for me.
I know my husband is trying. It is his way of trying. He means well and I appreciate it.
I just need organization right now. I need calm and peace and my husband does not live in calm and peace through organization.
This is the time when we are two very different people and it's not in that balance each other out way.