Sunday, September 11, 2011

I'm no Superwoman so why do I still feel compelled to try to be

No woman wants to be superwoman. I don't care what anyone says. It's too much in an already packed life to want to be superwoman. We want many things but if we were asked if we wanted to be superwoman, we'd probably politely decline the position.
Yet, as a woman in modern society in an urban setting, more and more woman are superwomen. It's not their choosing. It's just the way it is.
I'm not talking about the women who bring home the organic nitrate free bacon, fry it in a cast iron skillet to avoid toxins from a non-stick pan women.
I'm talking about the superwomen who try to be everything for everyone they love. It's just not possible. You cannot be everything to everyone.
But if that's true, then why do we as women feel so awful if we don't or if we don't try to be? It's as if we ourselves perpetuate this notion.
For me, that hardest thing for me is to know that I cannot burn my candlewick too thin. Still, I cook and prepare all meals for the family, short order cook style too. I research everything for the family. I read everything I can find. I handle the majority of nighttime parenting. I send reminders to my husband for his schedule. I manage the family calendars. I plan and arrange outings and get-togethers. I research and coordinate classes and social events for the kids. I plan and coordinate learning opportunities.
I don't mind but it gets tiring and I ask myself why? Why do I it?
It's not about love. It is but that's not the point here.
It's not about delegating. Honestly, delegating won't work in my circumstance. I love my husband dearly but I need to dole out 'you plan it all' to avoid him burning out.
It's not about control. Please, I'd happily take a personal assistant to remind me what to freaking do.
In my case, things just need to get done and if I don't do it, they won't. Somethings will but out of sheer necessity. We're down to the last pair of underpants.
I know that is the classic excuse you probably hear but that's where I am.
I don't know the reason for others but for me it's just been the way it is and it will always be. I know it perpetuates the Mom/Wife will take care of it but I see no other course in this juncture.