Friday, June 10, 2011

Plays Well With Others Sometimes

I am not a social butterfly.  I'll be the first to say that I don't hate people, I just tend to be by myself.  I'm not to the point where I want to be completely alone with my computer but I do find social situations stressful and not as comfortable as most folks.
I suppose that's why I'm good at what I do.  I deal with logic and data and workflow builds can be explained via logic.
I know I get this from my dad.  Don't get me wrong.  I'd like to be social.  When I find a group of folks I'm comfortable with, I am very open but it takes time.  What I don't like and it's a personal innate thing is when people try really hard to be my friend.  I don't know what it is about it.  I just find it annoying and unfortunately, first impressions generally stick with me.
So I know being a parent to TG and ToF will be personal challenge.  I know I need to add the social network of parents of my kid's friends.  I'm trying.  It's not intuitive for me.  DH thinks I'm just being a PIA.  "She clearly wants to be your friend.  Why can't you throw her a bone."  "I don't need a best bud.  I need someone who isn's trying."  "Give her a break."
I'm trying.  I know I can try harder.
I just don't have logical time for it. 
And this may be shocking to some but I really am bad with small chit chat.  I find it a waste of my time.  I'd much rather prefer to stand in the elevator and wait for my floor than to sit and try to talk about the weather.  Now yes, I do have a tendency to start the damn conversations with a  hello and a hi.  {Can someone tell me what is up with that?  Am I a glutton for punishment?}
I think that's why DH thinks it's odd that I have to work at socializing. 
I know I have some personal childhood stuff to reckon with but that's fine.  I admit that.  I just don't know why I find it totally comfortable talking to someone if I initiate it but if someone tries to initiate it I get all New York 'what's the motive' on people.