Monday, February 14, 2011

The Parent Trap

My husband has been complaining again about our nighttime parenting arrangement.
I usually handle the nighttime parenting which means I pass out and don't see him until the morning.
He likes to blame my lack of backbone and our nursing.
I know a lot of it is personal choice and a lot of it he misses me but after a long day of work and a long evening of cooking and trying to spend time with my kid, I really do enjoy the nighttime with TG.
Anyway, since it's Valentine's Day I said that if I needed help, I'd ask him.
Tonight, I asked him to rub our daughter's back when she woke up.
Now it's 2am and all I can hear is my daughter crying requesting a time out.
Have you ever heard a 2 year old ask for time out?
That's interspersed with, "I don't want a pillow.  I want Mommy."
"Where are you going?"
Truth be told, if I went there the moment I heard her call, she's be asleep now.  I rub her back, nurse her or sing her a lullaby and she goes back to sleep.
I also think my husband thinks our daughter is too attached to me.  I don't think this is uncommon though as just last Saturday another father in our building said his two sons treat him like chop liver when mommy is around.
I think it's actually normal.  I get fairly annoyed when DH makes it sound like my daughter and I have some weird attachment issue.
She's freaking 2 years old.  A child should be close to a parent.
She's still crying for a time out.
I think it's rather unhealthy at this stage to try to separate a child from his/her parent.  There is so much going on now.  She's learning new things.  She's learning to use a potty.  She's learning to share and socialize.  She's learning the difference between a stranger and a friendly person.
She's learning to communicate her needs and desires.  She's learning the difference between needs and wants.
Yes, it can be hard but I think this is short lived.  Soon, she'll want to do things without me and holy cow, there will come a time when she doesn't want me.  So not ready for that.
I'm trying to appease my husband's emotions and desires with my child's.  It's getting a bit hard now.  I think it's hard because I'm trying to balance a grown man and a toddler's wants.
Kid is trying to rationalize with DH now.