Fleet Week in NYC

We took TG to visit the USS Iwo Jima visiting for Fleet Week. I hadn't been on a navy vessel since my dad took me ages ago. It brought back alot of memories of my brother and I running around on the USS Intrepid.
TG wasn't too keen on the machine guns and rifles. She was pretty scared of them. I wasn't too keen on DH holding one so close to her face but I kept quiet.
Inside the ship there were several smaller boats and large tanks and machines kids could climb on board and explore. As TG was still very young, we climbed on board only a handful. She seemed to be overwhelmed so we made our way onto the deck where they had at least 6-7 aircrafts. At first she was extremely shy and scared but then when she realized she can climb into the 'elliecopter', she was a bit happier and jumped in one. I went to the other side and she found it humorous that I was on the other side of the helicopter.
I don't think she realized the ship we were viewing on the outside was what we were on but she did understand the helicopter. As we left, TG had her first taste of a NYC pretzel.
I know it shouldn't surprise me but as I get older, I realize how young the men and women who protect our country are. God bless them and their family.

Frogs and Chickens

My daughter looked at probably the 20th roasted chicken she's ever seen in her life and exclaimed, "Froggie!" I corrected her and told her it was a chicken. As I cut up the bird, she continued. "Froggie! Froggie legs", she noted as she pointed to the chicken wings. "No honey, they are chicken wings." "Froggie arms," she persisted as she pointed to the drum sticks. "No, those are chicken legs." "Ribbit Ribbit." "Ok, honey, we're having froggie for dinner." "Mommy funny. Yummy chicken." Did my child just psych me out?

Miles away...

We met up with some folks my husband met for a fellowship meeting. Two couples had babies under 3 months old. Holy cow, DH and I left thinking 3 months old seems so far away. "Wow, they are so tiny. I forgot how tiny babies are and how they really don't do much. It will be fun to watch them as they go through the realization they need to baby proof." "We sound like we're seasoned vets." "Well, we sort of are now. We don't know everything but that's the true sign of a vet, we know we don't know everything and probably won't know and just need to wing it."

To learn

My daughter is growing faster and faster. She's so verbal and communicates fairly well. I love listening to her as she processes what she learns.
"Mommy's drink. Daddy's drink. Baby's drink."
"Window. Another window."
"Airplane! Airplane, noisy."
When she wants to know what something is, she points and says, "This?" It's fantastic. I don't know if anyone else finds it as fascinating how a child learns and instinctively seeks out knowledge.

The aftermath, the day after a vacation.

Yesterday, TG got to see airplanes land up close and personal. We parked our car in the airport longterm parking area which is in the direct path of landing airplanes. I showed TG how the tiny bright light is an airplane and how it gets bigger and bigger as it draws near. Then I told her to cover her ears and she watched as the airplane flew overhead. She exclaimed, "Wow! Airplane! Noisy!"
Subsequent airplanes passed and each time, she covered her ears without a reminder.
DH videotaped it to show her.
Today, she's been requesting the airplane video nonstop.
When we got home, all three of us were exhausted but hungry. We ordered takeout and TG scarfed down the noodle soup. She was loopy with exhaustion. At one point she started lapping her bowl pretending to be our dog. She would giggle whenever she was able to extract a noodle with her mouth.
DH had his final today. He's uber stressed. I tried to make it a little more relaxing at home. I vaccummed and dusted and completed 4 loads of laundry. I had meant to do his laundry as well but when I made it to the laundry room, I found that he had accidently left our towels in the basement and someone was kind enough to move them to the side. No one touched them for an entire week! Go figure.
He came home, noshed on some homemade grub and as we tried to watch our home movies, we passed out, all three of us on the couch. Four, if you count our dog who was on the floor.
Since we've gotten home, TG has been pooping up a storm. I think the change in food effected her digestive system. All day she asked for her favorite, butternut squash. I figure the next few days will be funky poop days. She's already pooped three times!
DH chuckled at the sight of our fridge. When he left for his final, the fridge was the emptiest he had seen in a while. When he returned, he could barely keep it closed. I know I'm technically still on vacation but after the vacation food, I'm ready for some good home cooking and I believe TG and DH are as well.

Aruba Day Five: Notes from the Happy Island

Last night, TG went out to our balcony and said, "Goodnight Moon" all by herself. I then asked her to say goodnight to everything else and of course repeat it for the camera.
She said goodnight to the moon, the ocean, the beach, the sand, the waterfalls, the palapas and of course, Aruba.
We then spoke up how we're going home tomorrow and how we will be at an airport and on another airplane. Soon we'll see Zoe, our dog.
TG went to the telephone and 'called Zoe'. I can hear her say Hello Zoe and have a conversation.
I packed while TG ate most of my french fries and occasionally fed me her spaghetti.
My back is still red but not as prickly. I have developed a dry throat and a cough. Oh and AF is causing major cramping and a giant zit to form on my chin. Joy. I'm a hot mess.
It's 8am now. TG is still asleep. DH has to pack. I need to finish packing.
It seems like DH was not able to relax as I had hoped.
It seems like the days flew by.
It seems like we couldn't do some of the things we wanted to do, take pictures mainly.
But that's ok. I'm ready to go home. I'm tired and I miss my bed.
We had a great time and I'd like to come back another time when DH doesn't have to spend it indoors studying.
I think we are ready to go home.
Too bad we can't take the clear blue waters, soft sand and palapa with us.

Aruba Day Four: Notes from the Happy Island

With my crispy back and the fact that we've been in the Arubian sun for two days straight, we decided today was an off day from the beach.
We spent most of it indoors.
We took a ride to the main city and had breakfast at a quaint eatery and then went back to the resort where TG spent the time playing in the room or walking around the resort lobby.
The nice thing about having a toddler is climbing up stairs or walking across a lobby with shops is entertaining. It also can take a good chunk of time as their little feet can only move so fast.
TG also asked to see the 'cleanup trucks' so we went back to the construction site we discovered yesterday where she not only saw the two trucks from yesterday but she also saw a dumpster truck.
Afterwards, we took a dunk in the 'big bath tub' and she met up with Max again.
She took a 2.5 hour nap afterwards and woke up at 6pm ready for more exploration.
DH took the day to study. TG and I went out walking again and came back with dinner. What we didn't realize was their was a mini supermarket on the other side of the resort. It was better off that DH went outside though as the prices are pretty high for simple provisions.
Last night TG fell asleep at 7pm, missing dinner. She woke up briefly at 10pm requesting 'cheese'. I gave her a piece of cheese and she fell asleep with it in her hand. As I tried to extricate it she said, "No." and proceeded to eat it slowly, in her sleep. I'm not joking. Even DH witnessed it. Then she asked for milk and then fell back to sleep. She woke up at 8:30am ready for breakfast. She aet nearly an entire egg, a piece of cheese and some whole wheat bunny crackers.
DH and I had conversation yesterday where he reminded me that I needed to be more appreciative of what we have and stop thinking of what we don't. It came up when he showed me that he had two belts on accidently. I exclaimed that I was worried about him yesterday. He said that instead of thinking of how he forgot the juice I requested, I should be thankful that he comes back with a delicious meal.
He's right. It's one of those things I dislike about others and I should be less like that.
Oh, I didn't mention this but AF came of course. I think it came yesterday. I am not a happy camper.

Aruba Day Three: Notes from the Happy Island

I did buy another sunblock. I figured with my crispy back, I should have something stronger than SPF45. Plus, TG now knows the routine. We get to the beach, we use 'sun lotion'. We go swimming, apply sun lotion. We come back from swimming, apply sun lotion. It's actually super cute now. As soon as I put her on her lounge chair, she reaches for the bag, snags a sunblock and begins applying it on her and her Jay Raffe. DH came by for lunch and chuckled.
DH was able to take some time off this afternoon to spend it with us at the palapa. TG slept for 30-40 minutes outdoors.
It was a much more relaxing day I believe.
DH brought breakfast to us and we had breakfast at the palapa. He came back at lunchtime with sandwiches and drinks.
We noshed and watched the waves lap the shore.
We spent the time as a family and I even had two pina coladas while TG slept.
We returned to our hotel room around 4:30p.
After DH showered, he headed out to the local supermarket for provisions for TG and dinner. I requested seafood.
As he went off to hunt and gather, TG and I showered and cleaned the salty sea off of us. TG again requested a glass of ice water in her plastic champagne glass. Don't get too comfortable with this, TG.
My back is burned beyond burned and lovely DH is too tipsy as he keeps rubbing my back and trying to hug me. I'm in so much pain but he doesn't get it.
I sprayed chilled aloe and tea tree but it is still prickly.
At the beach, I slather painfully SPF 80 on my back. I don't know if it helps as at this point, it just looks red all the time. My back is as red as a cooked crabshell.
DH is still out hunting and TG passed out 30 minutes ago. It's almost 7pm now. I'm not sure if this is her sleep or another nap. We'll play it by ear.
Worst comes to worst, she can take a trip downstairs to help me pick up a dessert or fruit smoothie.
As we were laying under the palapa talking, I flashed back to my childhood. In the summers, we would spend time at the local country club where under the shade, we'd play scrabble or snack on homemade cold chicken. I mentioned it to my husband and he noted how different our childhoods were and how blessed our child is and how blessed we are to receive these experiences and to share them with our daughter.
We are very thankful and feel very blessed.

Aruba Day Two: Notes from the Happy Island

There are a few things I need to do that are responsible grown up stuff.
I need to get us to the grocery store for provisions. With a toddler I need to have snacks available every 2 hours or so.
I also need to do laundry before the trips end. We need to do this as we packed lightly.
My theory is this, we don't live in a world where I can't find things we need so why try to pack my entire world back home for holiday. It's a bloody holiday.
I"m a bit worried about the sun and my daughter and husband. They are pretty pale. I can slather TG in sunblock but DH has this 70's mentality that you don't need sunblock. Our latitude to the equator is slim. I hope the wind on the island does not deceive him to the intensity of the sun. He's had sun poisoning once before.
Right now it's 7am and DH has been out since 6am. I think he went to study for his exam and reserve a palapa. I wish he could relax more on this trip but he has a final when we return. I pray he does well.
...
It's day two and it seem DH is more stressed than relaxed. He's slept which he really needed but has now been up since 5am. He reserved a palapa for us and then went out to get breakfast and grocery shop for us.
By the time he got to the palapa it was 10:30am and he said he hadn't eaten yet nor was he able to study. He's feeling massive pressure. So much so he didn't even kiss me when he went off to study. I took it personally as he's never done that in the 14 years we've been together. After airing it out I moved on.
Routines have gone out the window. My poor kid has has minute quantities of egg, copious cheddar bunnies, copious cheese and for the first time in her life 3 pieces of sliced turkey. I'm not a big cold cut fan as the nitrates are not very good for you but to save money DH got some lunch meats and fresh bread for beachtime eats. I really appreciate that he thought of this.
We stayed outdoors facing the most beautiful, serene beach (1st row thanks to DH) from 8:45a to 2pm. Even with the shade and multiple and I mean multiple slatherings of SPF45, we both have some color. In fact, I, the one who was worried about DH and burning, got burnt on my lower back. That's what happens when you don't have DH to help you and remind you to slather your back.
I brought 3 large tubes and 3 small handy tubes and I think we'll need more. Everytime we changed a diaper, I slathered more on. My theory was, we changed her diaper every 2-3 hours usually and if she was in a swim diaper, we were in water so reapply sunscreen.
I'll tell you something, sand gets everywhere. It was even in her diaper at one point. She wasn't too keen on the wet sand at first and didn't even want to sit in the dry sand but after I introduced her to a little boy named, Alexander, who preferred to be called Alejandro after a cute island girl called him that, played with her. The next thing you know, she's sitting in the wet sand by the shore emptying and filling up her pail.
She enjoyed watching the fish swim by and she even liked sitting on my lap on the shore while the waves lapped us. She giggled and found it funny.
At first she liked having me spin her around and jump up and splash down in the water. Towards the end of the day, she wanted to float on my arms and kick.
We nursed twice or three times while on the beach and tried to nap but I think the heat and hunger were too much for her.
In fact the one thing she truly enjoyed was sitting under the palapa on a beach chair and playing with our mini cooler filled with ice.
We went back to the hotel room and took a cool bath to rinse off the sun and sand and she took the plastic champagne flute they gave us at check in and literally laid back in the bathtub and drank water out of it. I wish I had a photo.
She ate a handful of cheddar fish and three slices of turkey and promptly passed out.
Oh, Jay Raffe had his first dunk in the ocean water.
It was an accident. Apparently TG knew it wasn't good because when we got back to the palapa, she immediately asked for a towel and began 'drying' Jay Raffe.
I was worried I didn't bring enough to entertain TG but between the footprints the birds left on the sand, the birds, the speedboats, the sailboats, the ants, the parasailing, the ocean, the fish, the sand, the palapas and everything else she had a ton of questions.
Right now, TG is asleep. She's been asleep since 5pm. I'm not sure if this is her bedtime or her actual nap. I keep telling myself, we're in Aruba. We're on vacation.
So far, aside from worrying about my husband and hoping he could enjoy the island a bit more, I loved being able to spend practically the entire day at the beach. I felt a bit guilty about that since TG could have spent less time outdoors in the sun but it felt so nice. No phone. No computer. No to dos. Sit and enjoy the sound of the ocean. I try to justify it with we were under a shady palapa and I practically used an entire bottle of sunscreen on TG.
I'm fairly certain we'll probably have to buy more and I'll have to get over the fact that it's not the all natural stuff we use.

Aruba Day One: Notes from the Happy Island

TG stares at the swimming pool and exclaims, 'Big Bathtub'.
She woke up at 4:30am with me a hot mess. She wouldn't stay asleep without me.
Hence my vacation started early. My normal, put away dishes, throw out recyclables, tidy house routine before I leave was thrown out the door. This may be a real vacation.
No food just 4 ounces of squash and a container of whole wheat bunnies
plane ride she was great. plane was huge but narrow. Spent most of the time asleep. Nursed once. Decided 4 hour plane ride is about the max I can take right now with a toddler.
Her congestion still there.
It's very humid in Aruba. The saving grace is the breeze.
Both DH and I are extremely cranky but we're surprisingly holding up.
Too hot for DH to explore outside.
Rented a car, thanks to DH's smarts.
The island seems small and the people extremely nice.
Lots of jewelry stores. Was told by a native to avoid the non haggling brands and stick with native stores and develop relationships for better deals on subsequent trips.
TG's meals have been erratic but so have her naps. More so here than at home I'm following her cues.
Worst was when she was so hungry she was crying for a banana and I had no provisions. We just landed and it took a while for DH to get the rent a car. We finally found a really tiny supermarket, I snagged some cheese and banana and she ate nearly the whole banana and two hunking triangles of cheese.
Her dinner was just french fries but I didn't fight it. We went to Ruth Chris' for dinner. After such a long day it was nice to have a special meal together. At the restaurant she asked for us to go to bed so I brought her up right after.
She passed out immediately.
Oh, I love how she knows the word for milk in Cantonese so now we're even more discreet out in public.
She immediately passed out after DH found her Jay Raffe in the car. Apparently we left it there at 4pm and we didn't notice it was gone until 7pm. There was so much to explore and see that she completely forgot about him until she wanted to go to bed.
Interesting facts about my 22 month daughter: She loves playing with the corded telephone. She has actual conversations I can understand. She ends all the calls with, "Uh Huh. Ok, See you Tomorrow. Bye Bye." We unplugged it from the connection so she can play freely.
She also figured out how to open the hotel safe. Not even two and a safe cracker. I"m taking this opportunity now to teach her numbers again by changing the numbers daily and having her repeat them outloud while pressing.
She pooped twice, I said twice since we got to the hotel. Apparently the plane ride, banana, apple, squash, carrots, cheese and scrambled eggs went right through her.
She loves the airport. She stood in front of the window by the gate and watched the frenetic organization outdoors. Afterwards, I took our Richard Scarry Airport book out and we recapped some of the trucks and conveyor belts and planes that we saw.
Funny thing happened as we were taxing to the runway, I spied a luggage truck drop luggage on the tarmac. It looked just like the Richard Scarry scene.
She can climb down from a hotel bed. We were unable to get a King so we have pillows stacked all around the perimeter while she sleeps. DH and I flank her on either side as well. It's tight but it's cozy.
We all passed out pretty quickly afterwards. DH hasn't slept since two days ago and I have been up since 3am.
I did get to indulge and watch bits and pieces of movies. I have no idea what some of them are but it was nice to glaze over. I haven't done that in a long time.

My kid can scoot!

My daughter rode a scooter for the first time. I was so darn proud. I put her on the board, showed her how to balance, pushed her down a hall and then on the way back showed her how to kick off.
She pushed me aside and in my amazement, she pushed herself off.
That's it, forget the idea that a balance bike would be a gift for next year, my kid is going to get a scooter or a balance bike before the end of the summer.
I am so proud of her.
I can't explain the sheer pride I had that she understood and was able to translate it and be independent and scoot.
Oh my God, my child is in for it.
Oh and by the way, nothing is cuter than a toddler with a helmet on. Holy smokes, the helmet is twice the size of their little heads. It's like a giant mushroom cap!

Fear bonds

Now, everything I've said yesterday could also be the ranting of a very tired and exhausted and highly emotional woman and in actuality, my husband and I have grown simply out of sheer desperation.
Nothing says, "Holy crap, thank God we are in this together because Lord knows I'm just winging it here" like parenthood.
Perhaps we've bonded over the sheer terror of having to raise a human being from embryo to full fledged independent, strong, intelligent, self sufficient, compassionate human being.
I'm just saying.

Yes, I say Go Team PG often. Proceed with eye rolls.

For all the fire I've been lately, I have to admit that I am gaga for my husband and sometimes I feel like words are just too darn insignificant to describe my feelings of joy, happiness, appreciation, admiration and blessings.
It's funny but I think that parenthood has really matured our relationship. I'm not saying that one should get married and immediately have kids. I'm a strong believer of the following:
Give yourself time to learn who you are as an individual. (This is your lifetime work but you can't love and be a team with someone else without knowing who you are.)
Give yourself time to learn to be a team.
Give yourself time to learn to be an individual within a team. (Your life is not defined by anyone else but yourself. You cannot live through someone else's life.)
These three elements should help you build a strong foundation to build a family, if you decide to have a family.
Parenthood is no picnic. If anything, it's probably one of the hardest things that can happen to a relationship. (Getting wedded is probably in the top 5. Note: I say wedded and not married. Getting married is easy. Having a wedding is a great test for a relationship which is why I think it can be so stressful and a great determiner of how things will play out.)
Inequity is a huge elephant in the room of a relationship and it becomes more apparent when your label changes from coupledom to parenthood. I think that's where our relationship has grown. It's not about having equal shares. It's about supporting one another. It's about understanding what the bigger picture is and most importantly realizing that you and your spouse are each other's cheerleader. You should not be each other's crutch.
Inequity and the feeling of inequity will lead to stagnation and stagnation in any relationship does not promote growth. We are our daughter's foundation. We are each other's support. In order for our family to grow, we as individuals and as couples must grow.
So we pick and choose our battles.

Count to Ten

I know AF is coming. I'm on fire lately. My nerves are on edge. Things set me off more quickly than usual.
I'm so tired of it. I just want her to come and be done with but I know AF comes when she comes.
I know I've been snapping at my husband. Things that normally I just keep quiet about is getting harder and harder to be silent over.
I know it's not good to snap at my husband, especially in front of my daughter. For some reason this month in particular it has been very hard for me.
I think it's a mixture of things.
I'm trying to do the count to ten that I taught my daughter, but it gets increasingly harder when all you need is ten seconds to center yourself but folks won't give you that leisure.
I just need some breathing room.
"Suck it up. Get over it."
Push Push Push. I just need a minute.
"I don't know what you are so worked up over."
Please, give me ten seconds.
"I just don't..."
"Ok, that's it. I asked you nicely. Give me room. What don't you get about that request?" and then a laundry list of frustrations comes spewing out.
Does he think the nudging is cute? Does he want to push my buttons? Does he want to see the lid of the teapot boil over?

A Heaping Load of Responsibility

Someone once mentioned, "For Mother's Day, I don't want to be a Mom for a day."
Amen, Sister. Can I add, "I don't want to be a Mom or a Wife for a day?"

You'd think I'd be enjoying this but it's not fun eating.

I need to pump twice today. I've knocked pumping down to once a day as I've noticed that no matter what I usually only get 3-4 ounces.
However, today, I need milk for today and Monday so I've been upping my caloric intake.
I started on the fenugreek and blessed thistle again on Monday.
As for the eating, holy cow I feel like I'm in one of those Biggest Loser challenges where if you eat a boat load of calories you get immunity or something.
For breakfast I had 2 bagels, 1 scrambled egg, 1 hard boiled egg, 2 blueberry waffles and an orange. For lunch I had rice, pork, a mango and a bottle of propel water. For snack, I'm having steel cut oatmeal whole wheat cookies. I haven't thought about what to make for dinner yet because I doubt I'll even be hungry.
Keep you fingers crossed I get another good pumping session today.

Potty Potty Potty

I've started the peeing in the potty routine again. I was lax before but now one of the first things we do in the AM after we wake up is head to the potty and I sit by the potty and read her potty book or name items from a magazine until she potties.
We 2 for 2 so far.
I make a huge deal of it.
"You pee peed in the potty! Yippee" Arms flail. Dances are danced.
Then TG pulls out the changing mat and lays it on the ground so I can wipe and put a fresh diaper on her.
I'm hoping that she will learn this is an added item to our daily morning bathroom routine. Before we brush our teeth, we pee pee in the potty.
Lord knows what I'm going to have to do for poops.

Bigger Fish to Fry

We're on day three of bedtime with Why Not Sea Monsters?
Don't get me wrong, it's a good cd. It's not one of his best but it's a good cd with some catchy songs about the New Testament. My issue is that it is only 35 minutes long so it repeats several times while we're in bed.
With the Veggietales cd I made, we have a good 70 minutes of music.
Oh and did I mention that TG has to hear Bigger Fish to Fry at least three times in a row while we are in bed? Thank goodness it's a good song but Lord help me if I hear TG say again, "Fry? Fry? Fish Fry?"
Towards the third iteration of the album, DH snuck into the room and change the radio to an FM station. I think he knew my nerves were shot.
Funny thing is, TG slept past her usual 12 midnight diaper change. I attribute it to the alternative rock radio station.

If this doesn't work, we are GPS'g everything

DH has lost his wallet again.
It's gotten so bad, we now even ask our daughter where she put the items. We get a 40% correct response rate. The other 60% of the time she thinks we are offering her the item.
He will note that although he is absentminded, he usually found the items, with my help, pre-TG. Well, to date, post-TG, we've lost the car key fob that costs $75 freaking dollars, 3-4 ATM cards, his wallet several times, his gym lock and who knows what else.
I have decided he is getting an early Father's present. It's a doodad that tracks 6 items. That should be enough for his keys, remote, wallet, etc... The best thing about this doodad so say the ads and reviews is that each fob can track all 6 items. The likelihood he loses a fob or two is high but 6? Come on. DH, that's not a challenge.

Is it Mother's Day yet?

I had an awesome Mother's Day this year. In addition to the fancy dinner on Friday, I received a shocking homemade card from DH, a reprieve from the kitchen and my daughter saying, "Happ-eeeee Mudd-errs Day!"
That's all a Mom could ask for.

Mom's Day continues

My brother and sister treated us to a delicious lunch at Chinatown yesterday.
It was very nice and we all had a great time.
It was casual and it was great catching up with my brother and sister. Mom looked great too. I really like to see my mom smiling and with color on her face. I only wished my stepdad was there. My sister(in-law)'s parents were there as well. They are so sweet and nice.
I have to say DH is great with TG with meals. It's a great reprieve.
TG had her first eating excursion in Manhattan Chinatown and seemed quite entertained by it all.
We spent the rest of the day in downtime as her sleep routine was interrupted a bit. She actually asked to paint today and started making curving lines which is a big step, according to the development books. She calls them ovals as she really makes an oval. Go figure.
The funniest thing about painting with TG is she really dislikes messes. She stops between painting to clean up.
She's starting to say, "I'm Sorry." but not at the right times. She says she's sorry when she asks for help. I'm trying to teach her that she shouldn't feel sorry asking for help. I guess the whole concept is strange and she probably just thinks it's a salutation. "Sorry. Give me milk, please."
Oh we are still working on the please. She's still saying, "Give me _____." Occasionally when I say, "Give me _____, please." She repeats it. Most of the time, she says, "Ok," smiles and then giggles. I think she knows.
Oh, by the way, if you take a kid to any food with above average sodium, be prepared for major diaper changes.
Aside from the restless night's sleep (usually happens with nap shifts) and bad dreams she had involving her friend Tuna and rainboots (or so I gather from her exclamations), I had to change her diaper 4 times between the hours of 10pm and 4am! I should have guessed it as she sucked down an entire kid size cup of water in the evening.

Early Mom's Day

DH and TG took me out to a surprise pre-mom's day dinner. It was wonderful. It was later than I'd expect with a toddler but that's ok. When we got there we found out that there would be a jazz musician entertaining us. That was a lovely added bonus especially since TG loves music.
She ate some of the yummy ravioli with bolognese and truffles and gobbled up DH's frites.
My favorite part of the dinner was just how well behaved TG was and how she had a ball playing her pretend piano to the music.
At one point someone requested The Wheels of the Bus for some reason. Well TG soaked that up and loved it.
We walked home together and as I watched DH hold TG's hand as she balanced on a planter curb I knew this alone has made it the best Mom's Day for me.

Please let this be finite.

I'm a bit annoyed. I just found out my mother has an inclination towards assuming that any decisions made that are not along her lines of comfort come from me. This also comes to play when it's something I'm an attendee and not planner.
This ticks me off. Why does she assume that if it's something she's not happy with or doesn't agree with, I'm involved?
Man this has been eating me for days now. It's annoying me beyond annoying.
It's also bringing up how much I hate her backhanded comments to me.
I know that she was raised with the belief that displaying love is informing the one you love how they can improve themselves. Sure an A if great but you A+ would be better.
It's like that with everything. Your cake is good but it could be better. Your dress is nice but it could be better.
She means well but it still is biting so much so that that is the heart of why I don't have a close relationship with my mother. I refrain from telling her everything because I always feel like it's never good enough for her or if she doesn't understand, she gets defensive and tries to make it sound insignificant.
I know I should be the better person and I try but it's very hard.
I know this is a typical issue between mother and child, especially daughter.
I don't want my relationship with my daughter to be the same. I hope and pray it's not.
Perpetuation would be horrible. I only hope that the learned knowledge and understanding of why will be the growth catalyst.

The hamster in the wheel is tired.

Sometimes you have one of those days where you wake up and am covered in a haze of blue.
Today was that kind of day for me.
I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to be a grown up. I didn't want to do anything but I'm a parent now and that kind of kicks you into gear regardless of whatever you're feeling. Breakfast needs to be made. Diapers need to be changed. Teeth need to be brushed.
A child kicks you into gear. You don't want your child to succumb to the general blues that everyone gets. As an example to my child, I need to pick myself up and hope the sunshine of spring rejuvenates me.
I made it into the office and dug myself into my work and it was not cathartic but it did pick up my spirits.
I can't explain why and how but focusing on my work really helped me feel better and at the end of the day, my outlook seemed to be brighter.

Now she's shy?

TG has become shy around folks. She will turn her head and look at a person from the corner of her eye.
If she's particularly shy, she'll run to me ask me to pick her up and she'll stare at a person while hugging me tightly.
She did this today with Troy, the church director of children's education and the guitarist at her weekly church playgroup.
She loves guitars and music.
Usually she's standing nearby listening and sometimes dancing.
I wonder what's causing her to be more cautious and shy.
It's been awhile since we've been to church playgroup so maybe she's feeling like this is something new again.
Could she be smitten at such a young age?

Mom's Day

Mom's Day is coming up. I kind of had a rotten first Mother's Day last year. Still although I'm not asking for anything, secretly it's my day and I really want a nice once this year.
I'm not into gifts. Money is super tight these days. Don't get me wrong I would love a mom shirt I've been eyeing or maybe the mommy and me apron set from Bumkins or even a iTunes gift card but I don't need these things.
DH hasn't asked me what I want. He usually doesn't until the night before. I know. I love him though. Heck, last Sunday he lifted his head up from his iPad and exclaimed in terror, "Oh My God, Honey? Is today Mother's Day?"
I know this sounds ridiculous but I'd love a great big hug from my daughter. I mean one of those grin ear to ear waddle run over to me and knock me over hugs that I get once in a while. Nowadays hugs and kisses are more demure.
She's gotten a bit demure of late.
I'd like a breakfast that isn't waffles and eggs, our very boring usual but I'm happy without anything fancy.
I'd like a family photo day. It's been ages since we've had one but I also understand if we don't have the luxury of time to do so.
I'd like an extra hour of sleep.
I'd like a pony. Just kidding. Who are we kidding the mom always cares for the living creatures at home. I have my hands full with a husband, toddler and elderly pooch.
I'd like to watch a movie in its entirety and not have it take longer than it took to film the darn thing.
I'd like to go to the bathroom in peace and not have anyone ask me what I'm doing or barge in with a toy stroller stacked with stuffed animals.
I'd like to be able to not cook and still have something yummy to eat. That's it. For mom's day I want to be untethered from the kitchen. I don't want take out chinese or pizza but I don't want to cook. I know this is a tall order but maybe just maybe...

Courteous

TG finished nursing and then patted my breast and said, "Thank you."

That is all.

Recalls, Scrapes & Livestock in the City

Are they freaking kidding me? I rarely give any meds to my kid and I finally break down and give her some on Friday night for her irritability and fever due to her cold and it's freaking recalled.
The last time I gave Tylenol to her, there was also another recall. Thankfully that time the recall didn't not include the batch of medicine I had. This time though, the NDC matches the one on our bottle.
It's a brand new bottle too. I'm really miffed. I hate giving her stuff and every time I do, something comes out about a recall. It makes me want to go back to chicken soup and baths. I'm not about to call out for leeches just yet.
Anyway, I took TG to a neighborhood fair with a small petting area. She's been to petting zoos before but this was the first time as a toddler. She was fascinated with the cow but was reluctant to ride a pony or touch an animal. She thought the bunnies burrowing were cute but again didn't want to touch anything.
It worked out anyway as she cut herself playing around in this concrete enclosure. It is a small scrape on the top of her hand. I used antiseptic on it that evening and put some salve on it but it's still red as day. I know it will be fine but it's her first real cut aside from the occasional fingernail scratches. How do kids do that? I swear her nails grow like weeds.