Sunday, October 17, 2010

Social Butterfly, my tuckus

DH: You are just going to have to suck it up.
This is the response I get from my husband after he remarked that I'm giving a snarky face to our new neighbors.
I can't help it.
It's not that I don't like them.
They are nice folks.
There kid is nice. My kid likes there kid.
My problem is this...
They moved in I think last week.
On Thursday, I had a particularly long day at work. DH told me TG had not napped all day and that 4 playmates came over for a playdate. I expected the house to be a mess. I expected my toddler to want to nurse and cuddle. I expected the puppy was going to poop himself crazy and I'd have to clean up his wee wee area.
DH had school, so he was rushing out the door. I was exhausted an resigned myself to a crazy night with the hopes of a quieter tomorrow. The elevator door opens and I hear voices in my apartment. Actually, I hear that my front door is open and the voices are echoing in the hallway. DH has a tendency to leave our front door open as if he is Cosmos Kramer. Whatever.
I don't even step into the apartment and I can see my husband running like a chicken with his head cut off. He has a paper due and he's late for class and he needs a stapler. My neighbor is staring at me with this, I'm sorry for ambushing you look as her daughter is running around with my daughter. The puppy whining for my attention as she can smell me before she can see me. I have the beginnings of a headache and meekly smile and start hanging my coat up. My daughter immediately runs to me, hugs me and asks to go to bed and nurse. DH kisses me goodbye and leaves me there with the door open with our neighbor, her kid, a tornado of a living room (markers strewn everywhere, a slide laying on its side, stickers covering the wooden table and chairs and shopping cart, toy food thrown everywhere and half our alphabet mat taken apart.
I try very hard to smile but I'm in no mood to make idle chit chat. TG is mauling my breasts asking to nurse and so I ask politely if she minds if I nurse. Now, it's not like I'm asking. I don't know why I say I ask. When I nurse in public I ask as a courtesy. It's more like, "I'm about to whip my boob out. Just an fyi." I mean 1) is anyone going to really say 'No?' and 2) if they did, I don't think I'd be friends with them.
Anyway, I don't know if she made this up or if it was true, but she quickly grabbed her child and said she smelt a poo diaper and bee-lined home.
Did I feel bad? Yes but I also felt like I was justified in feeling the way I felt. It was nothing on her persay but just the circumstance. I figured we'd have another day when I wasn't just running home to a disaster area and the kids can play and we can make polite conversation.
That was Thursday.
On Friday morning, I woke up feeling a bit better yet still tired. My brother's wedding and the week in general wore me out and I was looking forward to relaxing a bit. DH kisses me good morning and says he needed to go study after breakfast. I'm making breakfast. DH opens the door to throw out dirty wee pads when I hear, "Good morning." In runs a toddler. Ok. At this point I kind was still tired and groggy and making eggs so I don't know how the conversation went but I do know that when I made it outside with breakfast, our neighbor's daughter was in our house playing.
Ok. That's cool. I will eat breakfast, brush my teeth, wash my face, put on some clothes and try to socialize. I'll try to be polite and make up for the tired antisocial me from yesterday.
DH: I figured you wouldn't want the house packed with people so I told them we'd take care of their kid while she went back to their apartment.
Ok, whatever.
DH kisses me goodbye and leaves me with my daughter and my neighbor's kid.
At this point, I decide, DH would want me to look sort of social so let me do his 'leave your door open' so I appear to be open and welcoming to folks.
I open the door and immediately my neighbor is peering in. "Everything ok? Should I take her?"
PG: No. No. They are doing good. Hope you don't mind but she's eating eggs here. She saw TG eating and wanted some.
"Sure. Sure. Thanks."
As I'm pouring water for the girls to drink, my neighbor pops his head in again. "Hi! Honey, it's time to go. Your nanny is here."
Now, I'm going to guess it's the wild and crazy setup where our daughter as has taken over our entire apartment and my daughter, can't forget her, but kids have a hard time leaving our place. There have been times where I literally carry kids out to the door for the parents. I feel awful about it because I feel like I'm saying, "Here, take your kid." but I guess I am.
Anyway, she goes and I politely say, "It's ok. You can come back again to play."
Flash forward to Saturday.
Do you see where I'm going with this, folks?
I wake up realizing that my child has one pair of clean jeans left and I've resorted to wearing my Christmas 2009 pajamas as I've also run out of clothes. DH usually does our laundry on Thursdays but unfortunately it remained a giant heap in the corner of our bedroom.
So I decide before we head out to a birthday party, I'm going to do at least TG's and my wash. Before even going to brush my teeth or wash my face, I grab the bag of dirty laundry and beeline downstairs to the basement.
DH: I'll do the laundry. She has a pair of jeans left.
PG: But I need laundry.
DH: Like you don't have any clothes left?
PG: Yes, I don't have any clothes left.
Now, anyone who lives in NYC in an apartment knows Saturday morning is the worst time to ever try to do laundry. Everyone is vying for the 7 washing machines and 6 dryers that are available.
I make it downstairs after taking the local elevator. Why is it whenever you aren't dressed for public consumption, haven't brushed your teeth, combed your hair or washed your face, you meet everyone you don't want to meet?
I turn the corner to the laundry room and it was a lost cause. Every single machine was in full use, a line of dirty laundry carts was piled reserving the in use machines and neighbors were vying for space on the folding tables.
I resigned myself to wearing my jeans one more day and grabbing a work sweater to wear.
Well, at least I can have a nice weekend breakfast and maybe even grab a shower before anyone else sees me.
I head back upstairs and as soon as the elevator doors open, I see my neighbor standing in front of my door which is wide open.
Now, I know I made the face but come on people.
"Hey. Just wanted to invite you guys to the playground."
I smile and DH finishes the convo as I go to make breakfast.
That's when DH said, "What is the problem with our neighbor? Don't you want our kid to have friends she can play with?"
Ok, it's not that I don't want my kid to have friends with. I don't think I need to say that but come on. Three days in a row during the worst possible time to ambush me!
DH: Well, I'm going to get her dressed and take her to the playground to play with her.
PG: We are getting ready to go to a birthday party.
DH: Well, it's not good for her to just stay indoors for the next hour. What's she going to do? Nurse? We're like gypsies.
Now, I'm not a social queen. I hate socializing. Sure, I'll meet with folks but not every freaking day. In my husband's mind, my child has to see a particular set of friends every freaking day. I mean to the point of every day they all do something together. Monday is library day. Wednesday is Zoo day. Thursday is museum day.
Ok, I get it but every freaking day?
So is it true that I have to suck this freaking thing up and just deal?
Is there something wrong with me because I would like her to attend events with other kids?
Is there something wrong with me for wanting to have a quiet indoor time with my daughter?