Thursday, August 19, 2010

Moms just want to help

think I know why I like to keep my business to myself and not involve my mother. At first I thought it might be a judgment thing. I love my mom but like all moms, especially Chinese moms, you show love by telling your child how they can improve. I thought I kept things to myself to avoid the 'well you should have done this' talk.
Actually I think I'm reserved because as much as my mom loves me and wants to help things she has a tendency to exponentiate the item.
It comes from my maternal grandmother's side. I do it sometimes too. You sit there and think about something so much that it inflates. The next thing you know you have a billion Chinese people who know your situation offering solutions.
The other issue is like all good moms she tries to offer a solution when all you want is an ear. Guys do this to. It's the hunter gather instinct I suppose. See problem. Fix problem.
The final component is sometimes the issue is of another world to her. Things are black and white but not all the time and trying to explain the intricacies is difficult. The stock response is that it is a generational thing. Perhaps it is but it could also be personalities.
I don't know what it is but in the end I love my mom very much and even though I don't hold that Lifetime channel relationship she desires I am proud of her and proud to call her mom.