For all the fire I've been lately, I have to admit that I am gaga for my husband and sometimes I feel like words are just too darn insignificant to describe my feelings of joy, happiness, appreciation, admiration and blessings.
It's funny but I think that parenthood has really matured our relationship. I'm not saying that one should get married and immediately have kids. I'm a strong believer of the following:
Give yourself time to learn who you are as an individual. (This is your lifetime work but you can't love and be a team with someone else without knowing who you are.)
Give yourself time to learn to be a team.
Give yourself time to learn to be an individual within a team. (Your life is not defined by anyone else but yourself. You cannot live through someone else's life.)
These three elements should help you build a strong foundation to build a family, if you decide to have a family.
Parenthood is no picnic. If anything, it's probably one of the hardest things that can happen to a relationship. (Getting wedded is probably in the top 5. Note: I say wedded and not married. Getting married is easy. Having a wedding is a great test for a relationship which is why I think it can be so stressful and a great determiner of how things will play out.)
Inequity is a huge elephant in the room of a relationship and it becomes more apparent when your label changes from coupledom to parenthood. I think that's where our relationship has grown. It's not about having equal shares. It's about supporting one another. It's about understanding what the bigger picture is and most importantly realizing that you and your spouse are each other's cheerleader. You should not be each other's crutch.
Inequity and the feeling of inequity will lead to stagnation and stagnation in any relationship does not promote growth. We are our daughter's foundation. We are each other's support. In order for our family to grow, we as individuals and as couples must grow.
So we pick and choose our battles.