Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'm my child's security blanket. Is that bad?

DH: She wakes up when you wake up. She doesn't go back to bed. It's as if you are her security blanket.
Is that bad thing? Security blanket, wise. Aren't parents supposed to be the original security blankets for their kids?
Yes, the waking up when I wake up is a problem of sorts. She went to bed at 11:30pm and I have to be out the door for a meeting around 6. I wake up and gingerly creep to my closet, snag a few clean, unwrinkled clothes and bee line to the kitchen. I grab my bag, a banana and shuffle to the door, change and leave the apartment.
By the time I get to the bus stop, my husband texts me, "She just woke up. What time did you leave?"
This has been happening consistently. As soon as the door closes and I'm outside of the apartment, she wakes up. I close the door quietly. I've even left my nightshirt next to her in bed. She can sense when her wubby is away.
DH thinks it's a bad thing for her to be so attached to me. I don't think it's bad. I think it's what she needs right now. She's fairly independent. It's not like she won't do anything without me. She plays by herself. She runs to friends. She investigates new places, people and things. She just likes to run back to me and check in every now and then.
I also think it probably is nice to know that there is some sort of routine with me. Because of my OCD, I like to have some form of structure even with a toddler in tow. She knows that after she wakes up with me, we spend some time in the bathroom then she plays while I prep the kitchen. Sometimes she helps with breakfast. Sometimes she continues to play on her own. She knows there is an order to things when it comes to Mommy. With Daddy it's more of a fly by the seat of your pants. Many times, they are running late and Daddy shuffles everyone in a mad dash to do things. Lunch is sometimes at 12, sometimes at 2. Naps are usually when they fit into when they can get home as Daddy doesn't use the Ergo.
For the past few mornings, her wake ups have been brutal. She's a cranky mess because she goes to bed so late. It also doesn't help that I've had to leave early for meetings so there is no routine. There is no playing in the bathroom, brushing teeth, washing face and saying goodbye to the potty. (Everytime I flush, "Bye Bye Potty! See you!)
Maybe this is why she's also prefers me for somethings like when she wants to read in bed. Or maybe I'm the giant sucker that just allows her to walk all over me. Afterall, it's not like Daddy is going to lay in the dark with a flashlight taped to his head reading a concept book on Opposites to her.