Sunday, February 07, 2010

The crazy mother rant.

Sometimes I really hate being a woman.
Mothers truly make this world go round.
The statement that pokes me in a place that sends me into full wrath is, "Things always work themselves out."
Do you know how things work themselves out? Mothers.
Without mothers, things would stay lost forever.
Without mothers, socks and underpants would be worn until the elastic falls off of the overstretched, see through loincloth that once held the shape of underpants.
Without mothers, bathrooms would never get cleaned. Mold and mildew would rule the world.
Toilets would come in brown tones to mask the never cleaned inner bowl.
Ovens would be pristine as take out would be the number one source of nutritional consumption.
Babies would grow up learning that after they fall asleep you better not need anything until the morning as your cries will be unheard. There was a study that proved men are more prone to wake up to the sound of a car alarm than a crying baby sleeping 50 feet from them
Attachment parenting would consist of men bungee cording their toddlers to their belt loop.
Multi-tasking would consist of holding a beverage while surfing an iPhone.
Honestly, I don't mind doing what I do because I know it needs to get down and it, in the long run will make my family's life better and happier. I don't like to talk about it. I don't like the whoa is me connotations. I know every mother out their is a three ring circus. We don't want accolades.
What we want is, when we ask you to throw us a frickin' bone, to not asks us what type of bone and where to friggin' find the bone.
Is it Mother's Day yet?