Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I'm an extended breastfeeder and I'm proud of it except at the doctor's office.

I'm not ashamed but I refrained from disclaiming just how much I still nurse our toddler to her doctor. I think I was afraid to hear her recommend weaning. I don't think she would but she is a western trained doc.
I love our pediatrician and I don't know why I felt the need to withhold. She knows we still breastfeed but I downplayed how much.
Am I ashamed? No. I'm actually quite proud and even proudier I have been able to continue while working.
Do I think it's an easy tool to use? Yes. It has helped from everything hunger to anxiety to bonding.
Do I think I may be imposing a 'lazy' approach? Possibly. I think I may be inferring that others may see breastfeeding as a lazy mom approach to things. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous and I do not buy it (I'm pumping as I type this). Breastfeeding isn't easy but it does make life easier for me in certain aspects.
I know that I can comfort my child as needed. I know that I don't need to pack a billion acoutrements for our next trip to Grandmom's. Heck, I rarely bring a diaper bag anywhere nowadays. I pack a few wipes and diapers and a toy in my Ergo and we are good to go.
So why do I feel as if folks may look down on me for my extended breastfeeding? Honestly, I think now that we've survived the low supply and the engorgement and the clogged ducts it has gotten easier and for that I am a little embarrassed that I have a great tool at my disposal.
I try not to flaunt it but I've worked hard at it and am darn proud of my accomplishment. Still I understand how hard it can be and how some Moms just can't do this or decide it isn't in their game plan. I have no problems with this. Hubby jokingly calls me a die hard militant lactivist but I know I'm not and I don't even know how you could be one. I think all Moms know how hard it is and respects each other's decisions. Ok, some of you are going to say I live in a bubble.
I just find it funny that someone who really worked hard for this and who should be crazy happy and proud feels a tinge of embarrassment over this. Where is my extended breastfeeding support group when I need them? A new meeting hasn't been established since the holidays.
I wish I could be a bit more like this mommy and not feel a tinge of secrecy about it.