The latest exercise asks me to protect our love.
The hardest part of this exercise is that I found I need to protect our love from me.
I am so stressed and feeling alone and overwhelmed that our love is hurting.
They are unrelated but related.
In order to protect our love I need to say goodbye to those branched that are withering or sucking too much from the root.
I need to prune our love.
How do I let go of hurt culled from the stress of everyday?
The simple answer is to remove that stress but (and I really want to get but out of my vocabulary) I need to be able to care for my family.
I tried to start with tangible things. I started leaving my laptop on the desk and trying not to bring it with me when and if we had a few seconds together. I broke it quickly as I found we were so preoccupied with other things it was hard to be in the together zone.
That's when I started praying more and a light came on that I need to think beyond the tangibles.
I want to protect and nurture our love.
It would be easier if I didn't feel as if I need to be nurtured a bit but as my epiphany reminded me during the darkest hours Jesus could probably have used some nurturing too. Jesus' darkest hour is far more of a trial than mine.
I just need to build my patience and try very hard to separate the everyday and tend to our love. I do not let the everyday define me and I should not let it define our love.
This exercise is a work in progress.