There is a little something that drives me nuts. It's all psychological, I know.
I have a tendency to overextend myself. I'm an exhausted mom yet I'll martyr myself so my husband can do something he likes to do.
I don't like the martyr role. I don't flaunt it. I'm actually kind of ashamed by it. Still, I'd much rather prefer to skip the nap and take care of something else so that DH can go do his thing.
I don't want him to acknowledge that I do this. That's not why I do it. I do it because for me, I'd much rather have a happy man than a pissy man in the house. For me, it's not worth the battle. I have enough to deal with battling my compulsive need to have a clean sink.
What drives me nuts is when I do overextend myself, occasionally it is misinterpreted mostly to be something that I would never do or intend. This leads me to get upset because it makes me think my husband thinks I'm that type of person.
"I can drop you off at the gym after our errands and you can take the subway home."
This turns into, "why would you drop me off to do errands and make me take the train home? I'll take the car and go to the gym early."
I know it's simple miscommunication but why would he even think I'd drop him off to do errands?
When these moments happen, I know my tone changes. I get very offended but I also try to remind myself to suppress it.
I tell him to drop it but God love my husband, he is either dense as a board during these times or can't help his tendency to be too frank and undiplomatic.
"You don't need to get upset over this silly thing."
"DH, drop it. Just drop it. It's good."
"But I don't understand why you are getting upset."
"Please drop it. I said I'm good."
"But you don't sound good. You sound like you are getting upset and I don't understand.."
At this point is usually when I lose it. It usually starts with me saying, "I asked you to drop it but you didn't want to drop it. I was doing ok but now, yes, I'm upset." Then I proceed to say tersely why making me feel like I'd do something nonsensical or self serving is upsetting me.
The argument ends as usual with, "I deserved that. I'll just go now."
But the argument doesn't end there. I'm all riled up. I'm upset. I was perturbed, tried to drop it but you dropped the salt into the pot of boiling water and now I'm left to percolate by myself.
Why can't he just drop it?
Why can't I stop being so martyr-like?
If I'm smart, I'd stop offering and just let it be.
I wish I was less accomodating.