Monday, September 28, 2009

Get Back to Basics

This past weekend, DH and I got a little testy at each other. Usually, we know we're a team and work together and help each other but this past Sunday, exhaustion got the best of us. We apologized an hour later and we knew we didn't mean to be punchy.

A fellow mom in the neighborhood actually described the relationship husbands and wives have after child best. She said that it's not that she means to make their home into a business like atmosphere but essentially, she does what she knows and she manages her home like her job.

Later on, I read an article in Kiwi Magazine where the author, a stay at home dad, said that a mother is the CEO while the father is the Director of Development or something similiar.

I suppose the similie is apropo for me. I try not to make it sound like I'm bossing or forcing DH to do something he doesn't like to. Sometimes, I just need things done and when your juggling plates, it's just easier to be succinct.

To my mom my succinctness comes off as cold and sometimes abrasive. To my husband, I suppose it sounds bossy sometimes. Funny thing is, I often lapse into my mom's tendencies to explain/justify everything. I don't know what DH thinks is worse, that or my precision speak.

I suppose being parents and a spouse to each other alters your dynamic and you need to be mindful that one dynamic doesn't spill over often. I can be succinct with family items but when it comes to being a spouse, I need to be more patient and slow down.

You'd think that I'd need to be more patient and slow down as a parent and in a way I do. I just need to be more mindful to be patient with my spouse. That's the trick. As a parent, you realize you need to slow things down for you learning toddler. As a spouse, I need to slow things down because I shouldn't rush our relationship either. Whether it be doing dishes together or sitting and watching a program or just talking about our day, I need to remember my to do list will always be there and this time next year, I'm not going to care if we cleaned our closet or took that trip to the farm in the rain.

I think that was God's message in the readings on Sunday. As our priest said, "It may sound harsh to cut off your hand or pluck out your eye but essentially God is telling us to forget the stuff that doesn't matter and focus on what does."

What matters is my family and my husband and God.