I've been bad and not focusing on the dare. Life has been getting in the way but that isn't an excuse as the point of the dare is to reconnect and make an effort however tough it may be.
I got lost along the way.
I need to remind myself of my role as wife. I'm not just the lady that lives with him and makes sure that he doesn't leave the house with a hole in his pants or the lady that knows where his keys or assorted items are. I'm his lifelong companion and part of my duties is to protect him and the one thing I haven't been doing is protect him from me.
I've been so busy being a worker bee, being a daughter, being a mother, being a sister, being a friend that I forgot to be a friend to my husband. I forgot to be his cheerleader.
For a while I've been stuck with the day to day. I wake up, feed the baby, rush to work, work, rush home, rush to get a meal on the table, feed my family and get my baby to bed to start the day again. In between, I'm busy trying to schedule in chores and planning outings, trips, excursions, family events, etc.
It started getting heavy. I wondered who was bolstering me. I asked why must I be the one who does all this.
I still do but I suppose I forgot that even though I do alot, that doesn't mean that DH shouldn't get attention and protection. I inadvertently kept pushing him aside. DH can take care of himself. I suppose in away it was my way of displacing my hurt for not being able to care for our child by staying at home. I know I care for her in other ways including working and I know that I compensate by doing other things like reading copious journals on development and going out of my way to plan outings or special meals. It still hurts though.
Things happen for a reason though and I need to trust the Lord and be thankful for the blessings I have and that includes my husband.
So I am sorry for placing my husband third and I'm sorry that I may be a bit callous with my thoughts, words and actions toward him. Love begets love and I must remember that although we both know we love each other, we shouldn't use that as an excuse to not display love.
I may not understand my husband sometimes and I may not approve of his actions at times and I may not like his human faults but he is human. I too am human and must try to be more understanding.
It's not going to be easy. Many times I feel like I'm always just accepting. It is what it is but I must not do so with a resignation in my heart. Things are what they are and there is a method to the madness. Patience, young grasshopper. Patience.