Monday, December 22, 2008

Equitable Division of the Stuff I 'Like to Do'

BG is 5 months, 2 weeks and 1 day old.
The one line I dislike from my husband is, “But you like this sort of thing.” No honey, I don’t like doing the dishes late at night. I don’t like doing all the Christmas planning and I don’t like trying to figure out how I’m going to cook something to eat after a long day at work. I just do it because it needs to be done.
I don’t help the situation though. When my husband does try to help and offers to help, I brush him away. For example, I needed to prepare the bottles and pump parts for work yesterday evening. They had all been washed but just needed to be packed. Instead of telling him to do it though I told him it would take longer for me to explain it and for him to do it than for me to just do it. Here is the deal: Fill bottles with breastmilk from fridge. Whatever’s left over, put in breastmilk bags, label and extract air. Take loose container of frozen breastmilk and transfer to freezer bag. Take breastmilk bags from fridge and place in loose container and return to fridge. Take pump parts and pack in pump bag. Take pump bottles and pack in insulated bag.
I know if I asked my dear husband to do this, he’d come back every step to see if that’s what I meant. He means well it’s just faster and easier for me to do it. Plus there is the added factor of how there are so many other things he can help me with.
The angel fell off the Christmas tree during a recent move brought about by a new rug in our living room. I’ve asked him several times to put it back up. He finally did while I was putting the breastmilk away.
Don’t get me wrong; my husband does do a lot. It’s just he and I run on different speeds. I think this is a typical situation as there isn’t a week where one of the parents I keep in contact with doesn’t tell me that equitable division of responsibilities is sore spot.
I’m very lucky though as DH does do a lot. Sometimes he needs to pick up the pace though and sometimes I just need to let it go.
It makes me wonder though, am I going to be the type of mom that says it’s easier for me if I do it rather than my daughter? I’d like to think I’d be more patient and more eager to show my daughter. I don’t want to be the mom to a kid who can’t tie her own shoes.
I want to parent by example and if I show partial treatment to my husband, how does that fair in her opinion of men, spouses and relationships?
It’s so confusing.

BG Accomplishments:

She now stares into the camera instead of at us or some crazy toy we're flailing around to grab her attention.

She loves her feet and uses them like monkey paws. Instead of bending and stretching to spin her alphabet wheel, she'll stretch her leg and spin it with her foot. She's also getting pretty good at crunches. She's a Pilates pro.