Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Love believes the best. Part II

Ok, let’s be fair. I’m working on the Dare by myself which has it’s positives and negatives. Since I had to list positives and negatives for DH, I should do the same for myself.
I’m too emotional, especially after I gave birth. Call it a lack of estrogen due to breastfeeding. Call it being a mom. Call it being a woman. I’m emotional.
I internalize my husband’s actions and equate them to myself. I’m not doing enough. I do too much. He forgot the eggs, he must think I’m too needy. I used this line once on my optometrist as a joke. Don’t ask.
I don’t stick up for myself as much as I should. If I hone the strength I have when I stick up for my daughter, my husband and my family and share a piece of it with myself, I wouldn’t feel like I’m giving in so much.
I don't keep quiet enough.
I give in because it's not worth the battle.
I need to delegate more. "You will surely wear yourself out, and not only yourself but also these people with you. The task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.” – Exodus 18:19
I worry too much.
I expect too much.
I’m kind and loving.
I strive to do good and help others.
I really do cheer my husband on in his goals even though we differ.
I’m pretty creative for a person with OCD.
I try to balance wants and desires for the people around me at work and at home.
I try to look for the good in all things. I do need to try not to dwell on the other parts though.
Funny, it was easier for me to write my negatives list than my positives. I suppose we are our own worst enemy.

Oh, I started the day today with some me time.
I pumped my breasts, took a bath, worked on the Dare and had breakfast.
Then I cleaned the toilet and bathtub, did a load of wash and cleaned the dishes.

By the time DH woke up, I felt like I already had some accomplishments for the day. I also started his day with a kiss and an appreciation. I told him, "Thank you for being you."

He was taken aback and asked me what he did. I said I just wanted to compliment him.