Wednesday, October 01, 2008

What about mom's transitional object?

BG is 2 months, 3 weeks and 3 days old.

I have conversations with BG. Most of the times she looks at me like I’m nuts but every now and then I get a smile or a reaction other than indifference. The last few weeks I’ve felt a bonding with BG that is reaching another level. It’s as if we have this unseen, unspoken bond. I’m sure it’s most of it is in my head but it sure feels good.

I took her to my office for a visit this week and someone made a statement that took me aback. She said, “She hasn’t been away from you yet, has she?” I wasn’t insulted nor did I feel like it was a comment but it did get me thinking.

Then today during our mother’s walk a mom with a baby the same age as BG asked a few of us if we’ve left our child yet. One of the mothers looked at me and we both exclaimed aside from our husband we have not left our child in the hands of another family member or friend. We both have had family and friends hang out with our babies while we ran around the house but we haven’t left her alone.

The other mom who has a 4 month old made me feel a little better. She didn’t seem to be in a rush nor did she seem phased by it. I know I will need to leave my baby girl with a family member, friend or sitter. I’m just not ready for it. I know it will be the toughest thing for me. My husband knows that. I know that.

“Just start with an hour or two in the neighborhood.” Listen, I know to start with baby steps. I’m just not ready yet so stop reminding me and pressuring me. I will get there soon enough and I’ll look back at this entry and laugh.

Well it’s official, baby girl is in Size 2 diapers. Size 1s are looking like slim fits on her and we have had late night leaks with the size ones. One of the ladies in my chat group mentioned how the size 2 characters on the diapers look so much older than the size 1s. She is correct. They look so much older, I’m expecting the characters to have briefcases and ties on the size threes.