Sunday, October 26, 2008

I could use a good stroller nap.

BG is 3 month, 2 weeks and 5 days old.

I know this sounds ridiculous but I feel more tired of late. My back is a bit more achy. My arms are a bit heavier. My mind is a bit more groggy. I think I need a full night’s rest to recoup.

BG is growing and every day she does something amazing that astounds me. She has started to be more vocal, especially at the image of a baby. In front of a real live baby not so much but in front of her mirror image, she’s all ‘la la la’. She’s also starting to do this strange high pitched sometimes soundless laugh. It makes my husband smile which in turn fills me with mommy love.

All this growing and development has kept her consistently eating approximately every 2 hours. I continue to use the sign for milk before most feedings. We’ll see how it goes.

She’s also rolling to one side more and more. Since she’s not keen on tummy time, roly poly ollie is played more which I hope is helping the rolling.

I’ve also taken BG downtown via subway and facing out in her carrier. She’s still a bit young for that but I didn’t bounce her too much and kept an eye on her neck. I think she liked looking out and seeing the horses at Central Park and the big buildings and whatnot. We stopped off at my job and showed her off a bit. She was a bit more vocal in the office and I think it was due to the trip and her being older. She sounds off when she’s uncomfortable (usually a diaper change), hungry and tired.

I’m not sure if all this growing and learning effects this but DH and I swear she’s upped her dirty diaper quotient. Within the first 15 minutes of my CA cousins visit, I changed her diaper 3 times.

So I guess more diaper changes, more play time, more games and more discover via outings equals more tired mommy. Ha Ha

On a good note, she’s {knock on wood} sleeping well at night. She has catnaps (30-60 minutes) during the day but sleeps more heartily at night. By 10:30pm, she’s ready to sleep in her crib. Eventually, I’d like to see her sleep earlier but for now, I’m happy to see that she enjoys her naps.

I must say though, she is a bit vocal when she sleeps and the vocals are a bit on the fussy side. It makes me wonder what she’s dreaming about or if it’s just the end of her REM cycle and her body is trying to determine if she should go back to sleep or wake up. Yesterday evening during her evening nap, she fell asleep on my breast and after 30 minutes she let out this tiny whine that made me feel awful. I knew she was ok but that sound just stopped my heart for a moment. I rubbed her back a bit and she stopped whining and went back to sleep. DH said that I looked so worried and concerned and didn’t understand why. I tried to explain that sound cuts into you but he thought I was being silly. I guess we’ll always be in disagreement. I mean, I know she’s ok and I don’t plan to run at the first sign of fussiness but it still gets to that piece of my heart that grew when she was born when she cries and expresses discomfort. Honestly, I feel like the Grinch. My heart grew 3 times larger the day she was born. It also strangely grew a part that wouldn’t even blink at the idea of physically hurting someone that tries to hurt and endanger my child.

Oh, since we don’t have crib bumpers, DH is concerned all BG may hurt herself when she moves around in her sleep. I hadn’t thought of that but all signs point to no bumpers. What’s a mom to do? I suppose I’ll ask around and see if that a real issue or not.

The image of BG passed out on the breast with her mouth relaxed and a drop of milk on her lips.

Her groggy eyes looking up at me from the crib in the morning and then the sudden toothless grin formed at the realization that her mommy is here.

Her excitement when I tell her ‘all done’ after a diaper change.

The smiles she elicits from her father.

BG’s expression when changing her diaper and I say, “Pilot to bombardier. Pilot to bombardier. Deploy hatches. I repeat deploy hatches.”