BG is is 2 months, 3 weeks and 2 days old.
I truly love my neighborhood and do not want to leave it just yet. With the layoff and his desire to not reenter the workforce, he says we should sell and move. Not only does this upset me but it leaves me with the burden of a longer commute to work when I’d much rather be with my child. This I am afraid is leading to a little resentment but I keep quiet as it doesn’t change the fact that my husband wants what he wants.
I enjoy my time with my daughter, even when I’m tired and exhausted. Sure, I’d love to be able to pee by myself or even take a shower or bath that doesn’t require me to multi-task shampooing, shaving and scrubbing but every moment I have with her, even if it’s rocking her to sleep is a blessing. I never thought I’d have the opportunity to be a mother. This is one gift I truly want to savor and appreciate.
I knew my husband and I would be at each other’s throats during the first few weeks as new parents but I didn’t know it would be as bad as it was. Some fellow moms told me it was even worse for them. In the long run, I’ve learned a lot from the experience. I learned a lot about my husband but I learned even more about myself. Some of it was good and some of it scares me as I know that it may lead to a different path than I’d imagine my life to be but I awoke to some aspects of my personality and my husband’s personality that I had been blinded by love to see.
As a mother I can emphatically state there is no equality and nor should one strive for equality as a man will never be an equal to a woman. A woman is stronger, more powerful and more intelligent than any man. A man could never go through what a woman goes through physically, mentally and emotionally as she transforms into a mother and then later into a mother/provider/protector/wife/family leader/nurturer. There are many men out there that are wonderful providers/fathers/protectors/etc but even they cannot equal the power and strength of a woman.
I first thought mother would be one of the many titles that I wore as a badge of honor but I now realize mother is my identity. Mother is what I am and what I define myself as first and foremost. Right now, all other titles are meaningless to me.