Thursday, September 04, 2008

Dad. Mom. Husband. Wife.

1 Month and 4 Weeks Old

I love my husband but he gets in my craw every now and then.

1. We have an electric kettle. I love it as it boils water super quick and in a jam, I can boil an egg in it. I keep it fairly clean and boil water in it everyday so the water isn't stagnant. If I make an egg in it, I clean it out thoroughly and rarely do I let it boil til the egg cracks. If my hands are tied and I can't clean the kettle right away, i dump the water and leave it by the sink for cleaning so no one mistakes it as clean.

My husband does not do this and 80% of the time his eggs crack and leave a mess inside the kettle. He will fish out the egg and leave the dirty kettle and water on the base.

Now I use this kettle to boil water to sterilize nipples and what not for the baby. Twice I have nearly used the dirty water to make food or sterilize baby stuff!

He always says sorry and he'll take care of it but he always forgets. The same goes for doing the dishes or putting them in the dishwasher or taking them out of the dishwasher.

2. Preparation is not his forte. So I set everything up for him. when it's bath time for baby, I clean and prep the kitchen sink and counter. I set up the bath water and check temperatures. I prep the towels and contingency towels. At night right before his late night baby shift (midnight-7am), I prep the changing station. I put out the expensive 'pee indicator' diapers for him. I make sure there are enough wipes, burp clothes, bibs, swaddles and onesies easily accessible to him.

yesterday morning I woke up to find, strewn throughout the room, 2 used burp clothes, 3 used swaddles, 2 used onesies in the hamper and a partridge in a pear tree. Nearly all the diapers I left out (8) are used and a dirty disposable changing mat is crammed into the container that holds the nose suction doodad.

I don't want to know what happens during her late night feeding.

This leads me to my last rant about my lovely but often multi-tasking disabled husband.

3. If you are going to take the late night shift which accounts for 5-6 hours most nights, please do not wake me up unless I ask you to wake me up to pump. That's not taking the late night shift. Yes, I generally wake up before you do when I hear her and yes, I often wake up around her late night wake up to pump but that doesn't mean that I'm there to get you the boppy, hold her so you can pee, brush your teeth, walk the dogs, etc. I understand these things need to be done. I do most of these things the rest of the 19 hours of the day with her and most of the time with one hand.

And just because I'm up pumping doesn't mean that I'm there to cater to you. Most nights, I pump, store milk, clean parts and do the dishes that you claimed you would do with the purchase of the dishwasher.

How is it I can hold my baby with one hand or breastfeed and still be able to get myself a glass of water, make a sandwich, find the remote, know where the burpcloth and/or swaddle is and go to the bathroom and as soon as my husband has our daughter for a feeding or care time I need to wait on him? No fail, within 5 minutes of caring for her I hear, "Honey, can you get me {fill in the blank}?"

When you are doing your thing around the house during the day, do I constantly bother you to get me something or do I not do my best to leave you be lest you tell me that can't get anything done?

And if you give me the baby to hold so he can pee/brush teeth/warm EBM/etc, don't be surprised if when you return she's already on my breast. Many nights, she hedgehogs her way towards it instinctively.

With that said, I still love you and I truly appreciate your help and watching you care for our daughter brings a smile to my heart, even when you dangle her upside down or some other crazy scare mommy move you make with her.