Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Yes, I did get treats for my husband while I was gone. I know I'm a schmo.

1 Month , 1 Week & 5 Days

I went back for the sonogram and I need to go in for an outpatient surgery on Thursday. After reading several breastfeeding boards, general anesthesia should not affect BG. I will be tired and groggy and will need someone to pick me up and watch me for a few hours afterwards.

DH said he’d pick me up and he expects I should be fine to watch the kid while he goes to the dentist when he drops me home. I forgot he had a scheduled dentist appointment when I scheduled the surgery. I don’t know if he’s in denial or doesn’t realize this is surgery.

Honestly, I don’t care to explain this as any adult conversation ends in a lot of emotional upheaval. It's just another example of how I plan a prepare for the worst and he figures we're not doing anything others haven't so we shouldn't worry. It's not about worrying for me but being realistic. Just like I need to prepare to leave 30-40 minutes after the 'scheduled' time to leave or to realize DH will return home 1-2 hours after the time he tells me he'll be home, I need to tack on comfort zones for events. This allows me to be more realistic about what I can and cannot accomplish. If I accomplish more, then I feel even better.

Back to the surgery, it's nothing major but it does require general anesthesia which means I've been worried about feeding my daughter. Forget about how I'm going to recoup. I figure somehow I'll pull through especially if my daughter needs me. The most important thing in my head is to make sure she has enough food and that the anesthesia passes my system and doesn't make it's way to her. Everything I've read says to feed her before the procedure or pump before. General anesthesia should pass through my system within 2 hours so I should be good. If a little gets through, she will be sleepy but it's not so much that it will be troublesome to her health.

I suppose what irks me about my husband's reaction is the same thing that irks me about his reaction and his actions after I gave birth, it went back to him and his needs. I'm not saying I need to be coddled. For the most part, I believe I've taken good care of myself throughout my entire life, including during my pregnancy. although it would have been nice for my husband to come with me to more doctor's visits and tests, I did it myself. When I truly needed him during the glucose testing scare, he came with me. I guess I just I didn't think that I'd need to ask him to be there for me after delivery, during the first few weeks home and now for my outpatient procedure.

I guess it would just be nice to have someone think of me and my needs and care for me the way I'd care for them. I know he loves me. I guess he just doesn't realize how scary these events are to me and how I just need some support and comfort. Again, I just remind myself that women are the stronger of the sexes.

Anyway, the good news is that the sonogram appointment turned into a mom’s day out. Of course, mom’s day out consisted of chores but it was a day out by herself nonetheless. Plus the house is stocked with toilet paper, paper towels and other essentials now.