Thursday, August 07, 2008

Things happen for a reason... aka We Plan, God Laughs

1 Month

Baby Blues by Rick Kirkman & Jerry Scott

Today is BG’s one month birthday. Today is also the day my husband got laid off. Yes, my husband got laid off. I’m trying to put a positive spin as he was training and working towards a career change anyway.

Last night he received something that will help him towards his new career. So I guess things aligned for a reason.

I know some folks laugh at me and think I’m fooling myself when I say, “God will provide.” If you think about it, things are linked. This past Sunday, the gospel was the story of the loaves of bread and fish that fed 5,000 men not including men and women.

I’ve been using this to help me with my breastfeeding and milk production hurdle. Now, I think it was meant to strengthen me and DH for this news.

Last night, I was feeling utterly frustrated and spent. DH and I had another roe and this time it left me thinking I was headed towards post partum depression.

Then BG woke me up for her early morning feeding. I had no time to pee. My stomach was growling and I was miffed I overslept and missed my 4 am pumping session again. I was nodding off when the loudest poop sound came out of BG. She didn’t even grunt. She kept sucking on my breast and woke me up with her loud poop. She didn’t stop eating so I figured I’d let her go until she finished and then change her.

Then she let out another one and then after a few minutes let out a whine. I put my hand under her bum to pick her up and realized why she was whining. She pooped through her diaper. It soaked through her swaddle and looked as if it ran up her back. Guess who got a morning bath?

Well, that poop, made me laugh and brought me out of my sadness. First, yes, I’ll say it again, when she poops, I know she’s getting food so it makes me happy. Second, I can feel angry and sad and beside myself but holy cow, this little one needs me. Heck, this girl needs all the help she can get and if anyone is beside themselves, it’s her. I mean, pooping is the biggest thing in her life right now.

I kissed her gently and gave her her bath which I had planned to do anyway before her pediatrician visit. Last time, the pediatrician remarked we could start giving her baths which mortified me. I love watching her enjoy her bath. It is so new to her that she doesn’t understand the concept but knows she enjoys it. Afterwards, I give her a massage and she’s a very happy relaxed baby for her next feeding.

Oh, I’ve decided that BG is a cuddle baby. She seriously loves to be held, more so than most babies. She doesn’t like to nap in the bassinet, crib or swing for long periods of time. She will sleep longer and more peacefully in our arms. I think it may be best for my arms to get a sling to help carry her around. The Bjorn is nice but when she’s napping, the sling is probably much easier and I heard it may also help with breastfeeding. I may try to pick one up after the pediatrician appointment today.

Good news! BG has gained 2 lbs since her last appointment. The pediatrician is quite pleased and said that although she wakes up every 2 hours for food, she can hold off to 3 hours. That's great news.

This is the boost of confidence I needed to trust my breastfeeding. Sure I have been supplementing with the bottle but I have renewed confidence that she can get her eats from the source.

She's also growing nicely. I'm so happy. DH also came with us which was nice.

Now that she's on breast milk only, the pediatrician wants us to give her Vitamin D supplements. Another gold star for our breastfeeding work.

First poo up her back
This one was a doozy. She hit the swaddle too.

1 Month Breastfeeding goal!
A big pat on the back for reaching my 1 month goal. Next goal I hope to reach is 2 months. DH asked me how long we've been exclusively giving BG breast milk and we checked my OCD journals and found out she's been drinking...

Breast milk for 1 week!
She's had breast milk only. What a feat! a few weeks ago I didn't think I could do that. Yes, I'm constantly playing catch up but the important thing is she's getting the top shelf hooch! I should be proud of myself.