Wednesday, July 02, 2008

The watched pot still brews...


Being a watched pot started to get annoying this week. Now, I’m past that. Now, I’m back to the ‘everything is changing and I can’t get a moment to absorb it all’. [That’s another story that I don’t want to rehash.]

I’m currently praying and hoping for an easy labor. I’ve been so scared of it, I think I psyched myself out on it. Now, the docs are thinking about inducing which petrifies me even more.

Every day, I show my baby girl the calendar and point the days till I hit 40 weeks. Today I’m on 2 days. I’m so afraid of induction, I’ve now started dreaming about large openings. I know. Laugh. I laugh about it too. I dream about hoola hoops, the sun rising, the moon at its fullest. I dream about slow pushes, elasticity and flexibility.

I’m doing more kegels than normal. I doubt this helps but it makes me feel productive. Then I wonder if I’m going to be able to push properly, the difference between pushing as if I have to go poop and pushing to push a kid out. I think about how to push correctly to avoid a hemi.

At least all this keeps my mind away from the stress of considering a change in lifestyle, location and my messier and messier house. Seriously, my husband did a wonderful job nesting this weekend. Of course, his nesting is not my nesting but I knew that. Now my entire house does not look like an adult house but a house where adults have moved everything to accommodate a child. Essentially everything has been pushed to the walls so that everything faces the center of the room where a child’s playpen, swing, bouncy chair or whatnot is visible throughout the rooms.

60% of my stuff is still packed in boxes in storage for DH’s move ultimatum. I wish more was not because I don’t need it but because I can’t stand the arrangement. I have recycling and my husband’s laundry taking up space in our foyer. I have no desire to drag the recyclables to the trash nor fold his laundry or put it away.

I spent last night huddled in a semi-fetal position (try doing that 39 weeks pregnant) because my dog left a weird stain from her paws on my comforter and I have yet to wash it.

I found the energy to cook dinner yesterday for the first time in a long time but I still have not found the nesting instinct every book swears is supposed to kick in just before labor. Where are you nesting instinct? I need to vacuum, dust, do laundry and put up the new shades!

Fine, I’ll give up the shades but I need to make a trip to stock up on TP and other household items. Help me out here.

Hubby says and has helped a lot but my OCD is slowly driving me and him insane. I’m trying to be patient and prioritize but the tumbleweed in the hallway is steadily turning it into a scene from a John Wayne film.

The funny thing is, everyone I know says that by this time, you just want the kid out. I’m not feeling this. I’m anxious to meet her but I’m totally fine waiting for nature to take its course. Sure there are discomforts, like waking up feeling as if the weight on your tummy is going to rip your stomach apart from you but in perspective, I could have a worse time so I’m not complaining.

Yes, I’d love a cold beer and chips but I’ve done fine without it for 9 months, I’m sure I’ll be ok waiting a bit more.

On a sweet hubby front, hubby spent all weekend rearranging the furniture in the apartment. The apartment no longer is an adult home, it is Baby Girl’s home. All furniture has been rearranged against walls so that all baby gear can be seen or accessed from all areas of the room.

Something happens when you become a parent or are nearing parenthood. Your home completely turns a page into an adult oriented house to a kid friendly house. I kind of expected it but didn’t really sink in until hubby actually started pushing and moving thing around. Our dining room is now a giant pit of baby gear. Our dining table has now been pushed against a wall to give us more crawling/walking space. Our living room furniture now faces the baby pit (aka dining room).

There is no denying it now, the baby has taken over our home. Can mommy’s OCD cope? Time will only tell.


By the way, I know I've said this before but I really hope you like your mom's laugh because it is loud, hearty and usually can last a good 30-60 seconds in duration. I wonder if you will have your mom's laugh style (resonant, full body, rolling on the floor laughing) or your dad's laugh style(internal chuckling, red faced holding onto your gut laughing). Either way, I think you'll have a good sense of humor.