Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Short Attention Span Theatre

3 Weeks & 2 Days Old

Hubby’s sister asked me to go to an American Idol concert with her. I thought it may be a better idea for him to spend time with his sister. Plus, with the breastfeeding, it really is impossible for me to leave my breast pump for more than 3 hours.

Hubby and I never watched an episode of AI so he had no idea who any of the singers were but his sister, the prepubescent teen, that she schooled my husband. I’m glad they both had a good time and could spend some time together. Until recently, we’ve been restricted and now we have more opportunity to spend time with his sister.

Today I was thinking about how it would be nice to be a stay at home mom but unfortunately circumstances will not allow me to do such.

I just feel like I may miss so many things in my daughter’s life because I need to go back to work. That makes me sad but I suppose things happen for a reason. They’ll be plenty of things I’ll get to experience and me going back to work will afford us the opportunity to experience things we wouldn’t be able to experience together as a family.

Hubby has always said he would love to be a SAHD but the last few weeks makes me think everything he wants to do does not fall in line with his statement. SAHD's are probably going to be a bit too busy to do everything he wants to do. As it stands, he works, has classes, his gym routine and weekend odd jobs that keeps him busy. I know he'd want to continue everything except for the working part. I can barely shower. I don't know if he could do all that and care for our child. As it stands now with his late night schedule of watching the kid and the above schedule, he gets pretty frustrated and tired.

I also have been thinking about how rough the first few weeks of parenthood is to a couple. It really is tough and you need to be strong and supportive of each other during this period. There is a stress level that is different yet the same with each partner.

I know I’ve been really frustrated and upset with myself and with my husband of late but it’s peanuts to the real feelings inside. I truly love my husband and am grateful for everything he does and tries. It may not always come out that way, especially at 3am, but I am.

Honestly, I’m glad we waited so long before we had BG. It gave us a chance to grow as a couple and strengthen our love which I think will and has helped us these past few weeks.

Beginning SNS weaning
She took the breast alone for an hour. Yes it was an hour and I don’t think she got enough food but at least she didn’t push it away because she didn’t feel the SNS.

Zoe trip
Scary. 2 bruised knees, 1 bruised forearm, 1 cut wrist & 1 emotional woman