12 days old
We had an extremely rough night last night. I’m not sure if the change in routine was the culprit or just newborn newness. We don’t have a schedule but we do have a routine. I’m not sure is BG realizes there is a method to our madness.
For example, I try to catch her before she cries. So far on average, she sleeps for 3-4 hours with me. I try to wake up before this time period or if I’m awake (which is most common) I rush to the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face, go to the kitchen, prep the tube feeding bottle, bring a bottle of water to the BF chair and prep the changing the table.
That way when I’m ready to pick her up, I can change her diaper and get ready to feed her before she’s absolutely inconsolable.
Afterwards, I burp her and hold her upright for 20 minutes and then swaddle and soothe her to sleep. Once she’s down which can take as long as 30 minutes to 1 hour, I run to grab a snack and eat while pumping.
If I’m lucky, I’ll have a moment in between to nap or fold a load of laundry. Forget about anything that requires more time or more effort.
Anyway, yesterday my mother asked to come visit again. Of course, she has to visit around 6:30/7pm. This is the time, I generally try to segue into the evening/nighttime schedule. Still, I didn’t want to hear the guilt so I obliged.
Of course, all hell broke loose. I could tell that she wasn’t happy that hubby was in the bedroom getting her ready for evening nap. So I asked him to bring her out. From there it was my mother upset that the baby was upset and hubby saying it was because her schedule is being thrown off wack. Mom got ready to leave. I told her if she left without expressing what she felt, that would be the end. I wouldn’t discuss another day. She stayed.
Then she asked my hubby to print photos for her. I told her yes but not today and she got upset.
I had hubby feed BG while I calmed my mother down. Then it became a whole, why do you do it this way discussion that never ends well with in-laws.
Then to appease my mother again, I tried to print photos for her and wound up dropping my printer and breaking my favorite lamp while my mother carried my crying daughter.
Hubby rushes in and calms me and my mom finally takes the queue to go home. Hubby grabs BG and mom goes to the broken glass and printer, grabs some photos and gets ready to leave.
Hubby smells a poop diaper and asks me to take care of it while he scoots my mother out. Of course, she has to stand there and watch as I change the diaper. She also decides she could help by pulling up BG’s shirt and putting it over her face and hands so she doesn’t flail. This upsets BG and I push my mother away. I just want my mom to go so I can calm this tired child.
She waits until I finish diapering her and leaves. I feel tired and frustrated. Those began our endless night of crying and more crying with no clear reason for the crying.
Again, anything could have caused this episode. Maybe it was the change in schedule. Maybe it was gas. Maybe it was overstimulation from having so many people (4 visitors +2 parents) in one shot. Who knows.
In the end though, at 2am, hubby had enough. He and I agreed no visitors after 6pm from now on and visitors must stick to our request of no more than 2 people especially as we are trying to learn her queues and schedule and she needs her vaccinations.
Again, I’ve been trying to appease everyone, my husband, my parents, my in-laws, my child that I need to stand firm for the well being of my family.