Monday, June 02, 2008

We've been kissing your booty for weeks.


Well I had my 35 week check up and guess what? What I thought was her head turns out to be her butt. For two weeks now I’ve noticed this big bulge on my left side and tons of kicking movement on the right side. My belly has looked lopsided. I thought she was transverse.

The doc comes in and I’m prepared for him to tell me that I may need to consider a version to get her ready and in position. He feels my tummy and says, “Well her head is pressing on your bladder now. Feel.”

He takes my hands and presses them down by my crotch and by golly, I felt her head!

“So doc, is this big bulge her butt?”
“Yup. Looks like she has a J-Lo butt.”

The nurse giggles and my eyes widen. Of course I’m one of the rare Asian woman out there with a butt. Between my butt and her dad’s Hispanic genes, I’m sure this girl is going to have a nice bottom. Lol.

Humidity has picked up and I now understand why woman say to try to avoid being in your 3rd trimester during the summer. It’s difficult already to waddle around. The humidity only adds to the weight and heaviness I feel. This is only compounded by the unfortunate lack of air conditioning in my office.

Apparently humidity also increases likelihood of swelling or edema. I have been fortunate and have not had too much swelling but I am not immune. When I do occasionally have swelling, it’s in my legs mostly.

The increased humidity and baby sitting on my crotch makes walking a bit difficult. The pressure on my crotch makes me go beyond waddling now. My husband calls it the bear walk. My legs are taking a wider stance and I’m sort of leaning left and right to walk. This evening, he told me to wave my arms around while I walk and chuckled and called me Grizzly.

I surely could never be a woman of the prairie. I’m such a wuss compared to these women. If I had my say, woman would receive paid maternity leave by the end of the second trimester and care and support services immediately available to them from birth through to the sixth month. Oh and a mandatory spa weekend during post partum.

Here is a small list of items I have been surprised by;
1. Lack of extra boobage. I thought I’d have some sort of cleavage at least.
2. How tired I’d get lying on my back. I’d love to sleep or lie on my stomach.
3. How many pillows I’d need to get into a comfortable position.
4. How as soon as I’m comfortable I need to move the pillows to make my way to the bathroom or kitchen.
5. How absolutely randy I could feel even with an extra 30-40 lbs.

Now that I’ve complained a bit, here are some things I’m fortunate and blessed with during this pregnancy:
1. No morning sickness
2. No crazy cravings
3. Minimal hormonally induced emotional outbreaks (my husband will dispute this)
4. Positive feedback and advice from most folks
5. No major worries/complications
6. No major edema
7. No major back or joint problems
8. No hemorrhoids (please let’s keep it this way)
9. No major inconveniences
10. No major leakage or peeing on myself issues
11. No major boob leakage
12. Baby Kicks (They just bring a smile to your face.)
13. The ability to eat ice cream without guilt.
14. How delicious strawberries and bananas can taste.
15. How a simple piece of cheese or a hard boiled egg could make me happy and content.
16. How simply amazing it feels to be part of the process of creating a human being.
17. How lucky I feel to be given this opportunity and to have a supportive husband who is just as excited, nervous and anxious as I am.