Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Firsts for everything


Baby Girl, if there is one question I will probably be asking myself for the rest of my life, it will be, “Am I being a good mom?”

I’m not going to obsessive over it but I can see this is a question that most woman ask themselves.

I am fairly excited but also nervous. A new role is coming into the picture. In two weeks time, I will be an official mom. I will be the person I hope you run to when you have questions, are scared, are happy, are sad. At first you may consider me the person you run to when your tummy grumbles but I’d like to think that we’ll establish a good bond that goes beyond me being a cow.

We’ve been waiting for you for so long that now that we’re getting closer, I’m getting more nervous. You’ll understand one day. It’s like when you wanted something for so long and when it’s finally within reach you start questioning. It’s not a bad thing. It’s normal. It’s the ‘Now What?’ you ask after striving for something for so long.

I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. I can’t wait to smell your sweet smell (and eventually your stinky poopies). I can’t wait to put you close to my chest. I can’t wait to see your dad hold you in his arms. I chuckle at how protective he is of you now and wonder how much more he will be when you arrive.

First times I’m looking forward to:
Holding you in my arms
Holding your hand
Caressing your delicate head
Your dad holding you
Bath time/Sponge bath time
Singing a lullaby to you
Rocking you
Introducing you to the doggies
Taking you to the park
Smiling (gas or an actual smile)
Giggle (gas or an actual giggle)
Kiss from mommy and daddy
Kiss from baby

Nervous firsts:
Changing a stinky diaper
Changing your clothes (putting a shirt over your delicate head and neck)
Cleaning your umbilical cord
Spit up
Doctor’s visit
Drive home from the hospital
Nail clipping
Temperature taking
Spit up

Nice firsts since pregnancy for mommy:
A nice cold beer
A glass of red wine
A nice seafood dinner without worrying about mercury
An Italian sub
Sleeping on my belly

Anxious firsts since pregnancy for mommy:
Sex (yes, this is natural)
fight between mommy and daddy (we'll be tired and cranky. it is bound to happen.)

Things your mom will miss about pregnancy:
Eating ice cream without feeling guilty
Eating an entire meal without feeling guilty
Getting a seat on the bus
Buses stopping in the middle of street to pick me up
Foot rubs by your dad
Belly rubbing
Belly talking by your dad
Feeling you move inside
Picture day with dad
Your dad rolling over and rubbing my belly and playing Simon with you
Taking baths and watching you squirm inside my belly as I free float